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Not exactly sure how I ended up on this site, , but boy am I glad I did. Not because it's good, which it most certainly is not, I just had absolute shit to post about today, and my laptop operates like an old-timey train's engine room where I have to shovel shit into the furnace all the time to make it go fast.
It seems like it should be an amusing idea though, right? I've often thought about how incessantly vapid the handful of celebrities I follow on Twitter are, particularly , but let's face it, he's a 20 year old skateboarder in a hip hop group, that's setting the bar pretty low in terms of expected coherency return, and he still doesn't manage to live up to it. A demonstrative example:
100+ people retweeted that, you'll notice. Sometimes feels like I don't really understand Twitter maybe?
I can barely even think of any other celebrities I follow. Used to follow some comedians because I thought that was what you did on Twitter, but guuuff, there is nothing worse than scrolling through line after line of people trying to be pithy all day -- even the ones who do it for a living. I think is one of the funniest people in the world, but seeing him popping up with, like, live play by play of whatever golf tournament he's watching at the moment kind of ruins the illusion for me. The illusion being that I shouldn't throw myself neck first into a wood chipper.
I recently started following a lovely young lady by the name of Amia Miley (pictured above), who pretends that semen is the tastiest thing in the world for a living, and is very, very good at her job (and sort of funny and smart on Twitter). I'm just saying that because I hear that if you follow a porn star on Twitter really faithfully she will crawl through the computer and be your girlfriend. She retweeted that one up there by the way, so I think she probably likes me likes me. Still waiting to see how this one plays out. Stocked up a plenty of Jergens just in case.
I forget what the point was to all of this, but here is the new point I just remembered: Twitter is fucking dumb. Celebrities are also fucking dumb. Porn is my best friend. Uh, what else? Oh right, the Celebrities With Twitter thing.
I tried scrolling through a few pages, and I couldn't even really bring myself to stick with it for very long. Uproxx did some curatorial work, and even the best ones they pulled out here for 25 Of The Worst Celebrity Tweets Of All-Time barely qualify as a thing. This first one though, this one is gold:
I wonder what they said in reply?
Ok, that's actually a pretty solid question.
Like to think with this one she thought that she had to type her name into the magic box to get the internet to turn on. (Because she's old, you see.)
And that's all I could get through, signed: the guy who just devoted like 15 minutes of his life to writing a blog post on this subject.
*except this one har har
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4 comments:
amia miley
duuuuuuuude
Yes, she's good at what she does, no question.
you're totally in there bro don't even doubt yourself. It's like henry miller and marilyn... or arthur miller(?) whatever. Point is she did a goon. Now get to work.
Ha! I think that's a perfect analogy. I've always considered this blog to be a par with Death of a Salesman.
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