Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Getting updates for Facebook events you aren't going to


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What's going on with this new "upgrade" on Facebook where I get a notification every time someone posts in an event to which I never replied saying I would attend (aka felt bad for my promoter friend so wanted to "support the scene" by artificially making it look like people were actually going to his thing.) This shit is driving me insane.

"Stop complaining about it" says that one dude who invites you to lots of things. Or "turn off event notifications altogether." Well, good point, but I don't mind being made aware of happenings in my "local scene", and in fact I like having an events page to scroll through when I'm actually looking for something to do.  I just don't want to have to fight against the incessant tyranny of the red number all day for the privilege; it's like bailing out a boat with a hole in the bottom, and through the hole you can see the floating, water-bloated visages of the corpses of your friends' boring creative aspirations. 


FUCKKKK YOUUUUUUU


If I'm going to move my wrist three inches upward to point at something on a screen so I can click on it and make it disappear it better be because someone I barely know was mildly amused by a joke I wrote in three minutes to impress people I barely know on the internet. Otherwise it's just not worth the time investment. 

I've searched the settings on Facebook high and low for a way to disable this without any luck, so if any of you computer nerds want to sort me out here I'd be happy to repay you by not inviting you to any of my special projects for like one month. Three weeks tops. 



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11 comments:

Barf said...

"it's like bailing out a boat with a hole in the bottom, and through the hole you can see the floating, water-bloated visages of the corpses of your friends' boring creative aspirations.
" HAHAHHAHAH awesome

There is no way to disable as far as I know. I've looked and looked I have no fucking idea.

said...

heheh. thanks.

I wonder if it's an inflating pageviews thing leading up to the IPO? Someone smarter than me think about that and report back.

said...

HOPE YOU GUYS CAN COME TO MY EVENT https://www.facebook.com/events/308117465936216/permalink/308126155935347/

Anonymous said...

That fucking unfunny Robby Roadsteamer dude keeps blowing that shit up, I dont even know why Im friends with his stupid ass.

said...

eh, saw a few dudes throwing bricks in there but not him.

said...

oh, you mean invites in general or Ouroboros? Who cares actually

Anonymous said...

keep me up to date on how this situation develops, man.

said...

It's still developing, but still annoying.

How do only 3 people like this post. Weird.

said...

Go to: Account settings, then notifications. At the top there's a notification that says "facebook send me important updates" or something to that effect. Unclick that box. Go to event notifications, unclick all boxes. Save that shit.
xoxo,
The Management

said...

Yo I did all that shit. All my notification boxes I don't want are unclicked. I do want notifications when people comment on a post I made, not when someone changes the time of an event I've never heard of and am not going to.

said...

Bearing in mind you may have to alter those settings ever time facebook runs a massive update... like they have been for the past two weeks.

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