I have really been trying to live by the old List rule about shaking everyone's hand, including women, when you walk into a room of people you know. You remember it, right? It was about black magic vaginas and Moses and Walmart, (otherwise known as the Bible Belt trifecta.) The only problem is, so many of you out there with your delicate lady-skeletons aren't holding up your end of the bargain. Remember what we said about dead fish handshakes?
So just as a friendly reminder, a head's up you might say if you were a db, here is how this thing works. I walk near you, my face points at your face, we extend arm bones (to let one another know we aren't holding a battle axe or a crossbow or whatever this shit was invented to convey), we grasp hands firmly utilizing the full fleshy portion of the hand-meat, shake once, then don't talk to each other for the rest of the night. Deal? THANKS IN ADVANCE.
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6 comments:
hand-meat.
Currently running a sale on magic vaginas at Walmart. Just wanted everyone to know.
girls don't have hands, don't be weird.
leo loves hand jobs.
What if I shake your hand with one of those cat paws on sticks they use as props in litter commercials? Too weird?
Not weird enough.
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