PTSOTL: October 2011

Monday, October 31, 2011

The Internet: "Cocaine"

No, daddy isn't listing off all of his favorite things in reverse order, it's the new track from The Internet, which is the funniest name for a group I've ever heard, called "Cocaine." The Internet is yet another OFQ3w#GKTA spin-off comprised of Syd the Kid and Matt Martian, two people I could definitely pick out of a lineup. This track features buzzy cohort Leftbrain on what has to be one of the worst guest verses I have ever heard. Still, the song is spooky, and the video is romantic in the way that lesbians in love ripping lines at the carnival before everyone's eyes get big and one of them overdoses kind of way that's become such a predictable trope of mainstream music videos. Remember just like two days ago when I was asking whatever happened to Odd Future? That was weird.

Honestly, I could take or leave this song upon the first couple listens, but this other track below, "They Say" is, as I believe the kids say, "chill as fuck."

The Internet - They Say by WeGetPress

5 Things You Have Heard Of

It's getting to be around that time of year again, with Halloween season here and Thanksgiving also being a thing that is going to happen. Before you know it will be Christmas, which is one of the best times of year I think we can all agree on that even the that one type of people I'm joking about here. Sure, with all that stuff on your plate, there's no time to come up with a numbered list of things that you already know exist on your own time, but just because you have a job, which we all know is harder to come by these days, that doesn't mean we can't share a moment of bonding by listing off a couple things that occupy space in all of our brains. Shared nostalgia for objects, tangible, or otherwise (and don't we all love both types) that we may have noticed once or thought about at another time are a good way to figure out what it is we mean when we want to share things.

See the list below and leave a comment on some things that you're aware of that we might also know about.

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Taylor Swift naked is not Taylor Swift naked

Here's a naked Taylor Swift, just hanging out in her shitty trailer park-looking bedroom with faux wood paneling walls, on her gross comforter, with a door covered in stickers, and her homemade Chicago Bulls decoration, like most billionaire, internationally famous twenty one year old fancy celebrity ladies do.The fact that it looks nothing like her, and the girl in question doesn't appear to be a ten foot tall giantess are also slightly suspicious, but who knows? One thing I do know is that someone pointed a camera at their boobs here. Boobs don't lie.

The site Celebrity Jihad, which made me feel like I put my elbows down in a puddle of something weird on a gross table after looking at it, has some bullet-proof logic behind their big scoop though:

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Shocking riot footage of Occupy Denver is shocking

Anyone who reads this site knows that I'm about as far from a Republican as it comes, unless you count the people who make up the actual Republican party, but is it just me, or is stuff like this kind of making you rethink that whole Second Amendment thing those gun bros are always whining about?

Saturday, October 29, 2011

The real hero of Law and Order

As more and more of these stories of corruption and brutality and racism in the NYPD come to light, it's kind of hard to go back and watch reruns of Law and Order without thinking of that noble bastard Lieutenant Ed Tucker of the Internal Affairs Bureau as the hero, right? Feels weird that this whole time I've thought of him as a paper-pushing cheese-eater just trying to jam up a good police like Stabler, a guy who may play by his own rules, but always gets the perp in the end. I was so wrong. Turns out Law and Order, and pretty much every cop film ever are basically Dexter, or on some Paradise Lost shit. The devil is the protagonist.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Sometimes music is good: The Black Angels

Do we all love this shit yet or what? I slept on "Phosphene Dream" when it came out last year, but I've made up for it in the past week listening about 400 times in a row. I caught the Black Angels at the Middle East the other night, and it was a trip. Literally and figuratively, that is. Yes, a lot of it sounds exactly like a blend of every 6tz era psych-garage band with Nico-era VU vox, and the occasional Doors-ian hallucination, but let's not forget that all of those things are fucking awesome. Read my review from the Globe after the thing.

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Thursday, October 27, 2011

Hot chicks playing covers of shitty songs on drums

I don't even remember how it was I got here, what link I followed originally, what choices I made in the past that rippled-forward through time, but the important thing, as in most life-changing journeys, is that I have arrived. I feel like a blind man who's just regained his ability to taste, or like a country boy coming in on the bus to the big city, just stepping out onto the sidewalk and being overwhelmed, but also there are dinosaurs walking around the city, and it's in the future, so he's dealing with all that stuff at once. More literally, I feel like a guy who's just discovered a fetish he never knew he had. Virgin boner territory here. Touched for the very first time.

Everyone's fallen into a YouTube k-hole before, but most of the time it at least starts off at something that interests you before spiraling into the inevitable link-jumping telephone-game of nonsense it always becomes. This journey here, though, this life-affirming expression of pure, uncut internet euphoria has no beginning. It has no end. It simply is.

It's hot chicks playing covers of shitty songs on the drums. And there are so many of them. I never knew. I never knew. And the best part is, most of them are pretty sick at what they do.

More after the jump. So many more.

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To Which I Say to the President, O RLY?

#OccupyEgypt

D Jean Mustard is back from the grave with his first PTSOTL post in a while:

Here's one of those funny things on the internet, where when it comes to protesters and what not. You can basically phase it out after the first two minutes if you can't stomach watching this phony prattle on about a bunch of shit he doesn't care about. I know what you're thinking. Mustard, this is old news, I've seen like 7000 cat singing in autotune videos since then, what does this have to do with anything? Well, actually...

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Wednesday, October 26, 2011

The internet is stupid, episode 3,000: crying out for attention

via

Every single thing any of us do on the internet is a sad cry for attention from people who don't know us or care about us and never will, unless you, like, work on the wires that connect the internet or build internet machines, then fine, you're off the hook, actually no you're not because then you're like the guy who grows the crops that we're addicted to smoking into our computer veins, so never mind, not so fast pusher-man. But this has to be the most literal example, short of faking your own death and trolling your Facebook wall (note to self), of what social media actually means to us. If you guys would cry if I died leave a comment. :( If you wouldn't, do what you normally do and push me down a metaphoric flight of stairs like you do every time you ignore me. Ignore us.

Shut down the internet, we've reached the buzz singularity

does this hipster costume make me look hip?

Remember that one scary rap group of scary teenage rappers Odd Future? Whatever happened to them? Was that a collective hallucination or what, because I feel like that was only like a few months ago that they broke the internet. And now what? Next? Next? Next? Come on give us what's fucking next. Lana del Ray satiated our buzz hunger for a minute, but she's already old news at this point too, right?

MAYBE NOT, says this press release I just deleted.

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Why can't liberals be more liberal? | Don't judge the Occupy movement by its stereotypes

I've been thinking about my trips down to the Occupy Boston location, and why I've generally come away with a feeling of cynicism from the particulars, even while the generalities of the nation-wide, even globally-growing movement have inspired me on the whole. I think there's a simple answer: it's because people like myself have been exposed to so many years of misinformation and misdirection about our specific political philosophy that we've become a generation of self-hating liberals. Faced with a deluge of frivolous criticism regarding the superficial details of who we are, rather than what we believe in, we've been beaten into submission and bought into the illusion of our own humorous insignificance.

One of the oldest tricks in the books used to discredit right-thinking progressive causes since the invention of rich pricks comfortable with their entrenched power and silly dreamers who think things should be better than they are, so, since the idea of property has existed, has been to characterize the change-agents as somehow alien, or other, or outside of the norm. In fact it's the only trick we've ever come up with to convince people of anything that actually works. Yeah, but... they worship a different type of magic. Or, yeah, but... they have a different shaped cheek bones. Yeah, but... it's kind of lame how all those white college bros have dreadlocks. OK, that one is true, but you see what I mean. Actually, the fact that I'm even making a joke like that is symptomatic of the problem I'm talking about here.

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Buying Buzz with Sugar Water Money

Did you know that Dirty Dishes are "making Boston cool again?" That's what this branded experience series called Buying Buzz with Sugar Water Money, aka Uncapped (because you take the cap off the bottle, but also the scene, you see?) somehow affiliated with Vice, which apparently still exists, tells me.

I've got mad love for Dirty Dishes, as I've talked about here and here and here, because as a music blogger I'm legally obligated to write about cute indie girls in buzz bands, but also because they're actually good, which is a weird feeling to experience. LOL @ this video though, which I'm sure they felt awkward about, in which the interviewer makes them explain Boston as if it's this enigma of a place no one has ever been to. Look, we have basement shows, and practice spaces here. Just like a real city. Pretty images from around the way though, I have to say.

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Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Man stuck in a baby swing for nine hours is all of us

Came across this story on Happy Place under the headline A headline to make your most embarrassing moment seem a little less embarrassing. Here's an alternate headline: Man Is Alone in the World. Either that or Man Has Really Shitty Friends. Same thing I guess.

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Halloween or Williamsburg is here to save us all

Ugh, morning commutes, AMIRITE?

I was just thinking I couldn't bring myself to blog anymore and that I'd read everything worth seeing on the internet and that there's no point to any of this -- specifically this, but also, you know this whole thing. "Perhaps it's done already, perhaps they have said me already," I thought to myself, "perhaps they have carried me to the threshold of my story, before the door that opens on my story, that would surprise me, if it opens, it will be I, it will be the silence, where I am, I don't know, I'll never know, in the silence you don't know, you must go on, I can't go on, I'll go on." You know? As one does.

But then I remembered how fucking stupid Halloween is, and that no matter how many thousands of tumblrs there are dedicated to making fun of people's pants in New York, that shit will always still be funny. Which is why is the perfect shot in the ass I needed to get over the hump. Am I back?Yes. Probably no.

Here are a few of the lulzy photos from over there I stole to post here so I can break off a little of their lulz buzz for myself all the while making it seem like I am just doing it to let you guys know about a funny thing. All photos and captions from Go see the rest there.

“You take the blue pill — the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill — you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.
What? No, I’m not ‘supposed to be Morpheus.’ I’m trying to sell you ecstasy.”

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who gives an eff not charlotte free that's who doesn't give an eff and also me

sometimes u just feel like ur stuck in a box. in a gross apartment. and ur hair is pink

i'm sick. no i'm not because being sick is a lie. but i am. i can't even find the shift key. jfc i could not possibly care less today about this ridiculous blog. here's some pictures of some model charlotte free with green hair who's like four feet tall that every one loves. some hewmew dude at street carnage pointed my eye bones at her.pay it forward. i always say that.

clean up your apartment dude thats not very bangin

whoz that one girl in the movies with the boobs on all the time? this looks like her.

i like how she looks like a zombie you might briefly consider making out with

that's called a fashion statement i think

modeling is about as metal as metal is at this point

i don't necessarily think i would wear this outfit

i know how you feel buddy

Monday, October 24, 2011

Science finally proves men are funnier than women

Prove is a funny word though, isn't it? What does it actually mean to prove something? Does it mean to, you know, confirm truth? Because then in that case I don't think this study published in the journal Psychonomic Bulletin and Review actually says what link-bate headlines like the one above and similar ones on every other website in the world today think it means. And what is science anyway? Serious question. I'd consider it a big personal favor if someone could leave the answer to that in the comments below.

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The worst song I have ever heard Episode 50

Normally when I post these "worst song I have ever heard" videos it's kind of bullshit, because I actually like the stuff in question. But I'm really having a hard time connecting on a meaningful level with this video for "Bewitched" here from Orlando's (no shit?) everything-core lullzters Blood on the Dance Floor. That's the name of Michael Jackson remix album. Just putting that out there. From Wiki:

Blood on the Dance Floor is an American crunkcore group originally from Orlando, Florida, but now based out of Phoenix, Arizona.^[1] Formed in 2007, the duo's current lineup consists of Dahvie Vanity and Jayy von Monroe, and musically, pulls from a wide variety of genres including electronica, alternative rock, post-hardcore, dubstep, pop, and hip-hop.

Oh word, is that where they pull their influence from? Because I was gonna say it was from their fluorescent anuses. So basically, everything. This is an everything band, which is only slightly less of a let down than an everything bagel. Coincidentally, they don't just stuff as much musical shit into their music as they can, they also stuff as much regular shit onto their outfits, hair and faces as they can. At least they're thematically consistent. You know how in movies about the future dudes are always rocking, like, Jenga-wave outfits, with everything they can scavenge from the nuclear robot scrapheaps piled high on their shoulder pads, and they've got like mutant bird's nests for necklaces or whatever, and you're like, that's stupid, no one would ever dress like that? This is our first step there. The future blows already. Video after the thing.

(h/t ) Update: Naturally, Stuff You Will Hate was on top of this shit show from the get go.

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Sometimes street art isn't awful

Well this is awkward. Someone painted me on a wall in New Hampshire. Granted, I'm looking a little older, and I would never wear those red pants, but it's pretty unmistakably old Luke. Older Luke, I mean.

It's from an exhibition of street art that was up in Portsmouth earlier this summer called Outside/In, which you can see more really cool images from here. Put that shit on a wall, Emperor Porkchop, the PTSOTL New Hampshire thing-finding-person said when he posted the image on our cunty message board. "Ha, Luke looks old in that painting. At least he took out the nose ring in the future," D. Jean Mustard said. Then we all laughed and laughed about what a fucking joke I am. Haha you guys. More images below.

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Sunday, October 23, 2011

Fuck the Police. Brave officers tackle the shit out of wheelchair-bound scofflaw

Look, if this piece of shit didn't want to get his crippled head wetted on the cement by a couple of Washington DC's finest, then maybe he shouldn't have assaulted officers of the peace from inside his motor vehicle. The vehicle was a wheelchair, sure, but that doesn't mean a citizen shouldn't expect to get gang-tackled by two able-bodied heroes at any time. It's like I always say, don't start shit (from your wheelchair), won't be shit (out of luck on the fucking ground, bleeding from your face and unable to get up.) Common sense, people.

That's what I'd say if I was a fucking pig, or a pig's lawyer anyway. I'm not either of those things. Not yet, at least, until I get accepted into the academy. I have a feeling my fourth try this year is going to be the one that sticks. Fingers crossed.

The Washington Post reports that the cops in question in this video from earlier in the summer are confirmed heroes.

"The Justice Department will not file civil rights charges against two Metro transit police officers for actions during an arrest of a man in a wheelchair that was widely disseminated on YouTube," the report says."They're basically on some Batman and Robin shit," it continued.

Metro has said the officers patrolling at the U Street Metro station in Northwest Washington spotted Harris drinking an alcoholic beverage. The officers lifted Harris off his motorized chair and later stood over him as he was on the ground, the video showed.

Oh word? Lifted him off his motorized chair? Is that what you saw here, Washington Post copywriter Victor Zapana, you fucking jackboot-licking sell out? That's some WWF tag-team action right there on the video. I've seen the British Bulldogs and the Bushwhackers perform double pile-drivers in the eighties that were less violent than that takedown. Lifted him off his chair my ass.

Also, never thought I'd say this, but those screaming passersby in this YouTube video have a point.

Occupy Boston: let them eat pomegranate-glazed eggplant with capers, olives, and pine nuts

just in case that drum circle gets out of line, you see.

We went to dinner at Trade tonight, the new offering from Jody Adams, one of Boston's most famous and beloved culinary personalities. She's a James Beard Award-winning chef, which is a prettteee big deal, jsyk all you poor people who read this blog. The gorgeous new space is just across the street from the Occupy Boston location, the sites, sounds, smells, and persistent blue police lights of which haunted me through the windows while I spent $170 on cheese and bread. Let's take a look, shall we?

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Saturday, October 22, 2011

Remember the 2kz LES?

Oh man, remember the good old days of the LES in, like 2002? The Strokes existed. Everyone had a mod haircut and a trust fund and did coke all day. Miss u early 2kz.

So do the people behind this, somehow, against all odds, actually contemporary television pilot pitch reel that's essentially a blend of "That 2000's Show!" type budget nostalgia with all the hammy drama and "the darkside of drugs, or whatever" of "Showgirls (at Don Hill's)".

Hard to pick out just one favorite line, but here are a couple to choose from:

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Being gay is a choice? Suck my dick then. Literally.

fuck it, let's do this.

Dan Savage has done a lot of good work in advancing the cause of equality for the nice sinners in the homo and lady-homo community, but I'd like to think his greatest achievement of all has been giving bored dump-takers throughout the country an excuse to read about fisting and blow jobs on the shitter in the backpages of their local alt-weeklies. Yesterday floppy-hatted, mustachioed pizza magnate, and Republican front runner Herman Cain...Wait, front runner? That can't be right. /quick Google search.

/walks outside for a while. /stares off reflectively by a body of water. /listens to new Coldplay album.

They know he's a black guy right?

/stands outside in the rain.

Oh, God told him to run. Never mind, this whole thing checks out. Not entirely sure how to resolve this absolute horror show of a grammatical construction here, so let's just start again: Yesterday Savage said to Cain, you believe homosexuality is a choice? Suck my dick. No, literally, suck my dick.

Cain had made remarks to that regard in an interview recently, news of which I am simply going to cut and paste from the Huffington Post here, because I feel like that sort of thing might impress whoever does the hiring over there if I ever need to apply for a job with them.

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Wednesday, October 19, 2011

brb in uk

innit?

Monday, October 17, 2011

Skydiving sex tape inspires zero boners, is boring

Everyone's probably heard about the recent skydiving porn tape, right? That's assuming, of course, that the readership here is made up of as many perverts and internet addicts as my demographic experts tell me. PICS OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN! I said when I read about it a few days ago. Then I saw the pics, and now I still don't think it happened. Look at this amateur hour shit. Never thought I'd say this, but fucking at 100 miles an hour while you hurtle to your doom looks kind of boring. It does, however, remind me of what it's like to have sex with me, in that everything sort of hits an abrupt end out of nowhere way too soon, and a guy from the FAA usually comes snooping around with a clipboard afterward.

Live Leak has the details, and the vid. "A French-Canadian porn star took his career to new heights" -- heh, new heights -- "when he videotaped himself having sex while skydiving with the receptionist of the skydiving company where he moonlighted as a part-time instructor. Alex Torres aka 'Voodoo'" -- who I do not recognize in anyway I want to make clear -- "has since been fired from Skydive Taft, but no termination decision has been made about his fellow Mile High Club member Hope Howell." Skydive Taft, by the way, sounds like it would have made for an awesome campaign slogan for William Jennings Bryan.

Here's Howell, pictured below, if the first few results of a hasty Google image search are any indication.

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David Ortiz, potato chips, Bush, shuffling everyday, other stupid shit

I was just out on my back porch and I overheard a 60 year old laborer bro working next door sing "everyday I'm shuffling" out loud to no one in particular, and it reminded me about all the stupid stuff I haven't gotten around to mentioning yet. Also that some asshole is watching and judging us from above even when we think we're alone. An asshole named Jesus.

Everyone knows rap songs and videos are basically commercials in the first place, but this calliope of wretched consumerism from Boston's Moufy, featuring David Ortiz with a sick guest verse, is just a new level of shameless. I like the part where he eats a specific brand of potato chips in landmarks that I'm familiar with. Also, "I'm on my David Ortiz"? is that a sentence, because that's the entirety of the hook. :/

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And people say music isn't as good as it used to be. 30 Seconds to Mars break record for something

Great news for people who are into really half-ass sounding world records that no one realizes exist and people who are into really half-ass sounding music that everyone reluctantly acknowledges as existing, because hobo-astronaut chic studyhallcore heroes 30 Seconds to Mars are set to break the world record for "Most Amount Of Shows Performed During A Single Album Cycle" which is only slightly less impressive than their previous world record for most wristbands worn by a forty year old in eyeliner.

Thirty Seconds To Mars will celebrate their 300^th and final show in support of their critically acclaimed third studio album This Is War with a special Tribus Centum Numerarae concert at New York City’s Hammerstein Ballroom on Dec. 7^th, 2011. They will also set a new Guinness World Record for the most shows played during a single album cycle. This Is War was released in December, 2009 and the band has since circled the globe numerous times, playing over 300 shows in almost 60 cities in 6 continents.

"We thought documenting this for posterity with the Guiness Book of World Records would be fun especially as we aren't any good at growing our fingernails very long or cultivating the world's largest squash,” said frontman Jared Leto, which, OK, is pretty funny.

By the way, I'm a fucking poseur, because I still bump those "Beautiful Lie" and "Attack" tracks from time to time when I go running, but that's partly because I can't figure out how to load any new songs onto the iPod nano I tricked out with the playlist "epic prog emo jock rock jams of the 2kz" five years ago. Also considering the old band I used to be in was basically a worse-sounding version of this type of stuff, I'm not really in a position to talk shit.

Funny story about 30 Seconds to Mars. Well, not funny as in funny, but funny as in coincidental: the drummer, Jared Leto's brother, whose actual name is Jared Leto's brother I'm pretty sure, was one of the single most difficult subjects I have ever had to struggle through a phoner with a few years ago. Read the interview below in which I said "I needed to take a shower after speaking with drummer Shannon Leto, part self-aggrandizing 'artiste' and part vapid band douche who somehow managed to let stray cracks of genuine humanity and excitement about his fans slip through his exasperating persona." Lest you think my questions sounded boring, which they are, keep in mind that this stumbling turd of an interview consists of the good, usable material I got out of it.

Still though, <3 that "Kings and Queens" song I hear at the gym these days. Gets me pumped up to lift weights/cry/choreograph dance with a team of street urchins.

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The bikini that launched a million depressed, chubby, metal teen boners

With the twentieth anniversary of the release of Nevermind passing this year, we've gotten plenty of "where are they now" type pieces on the owner of most famous alt baby penis of all time. That's great and all, but I think I speak for most of us when I say fuck that dude. How is it possible that almost 15 years later we still almost no intelligence on the hottest boobs/beak combo in metal history -- the bikini that launched a million depressed, chubby metal teen boners, from Deftones' "Around the Fur"? Total news fail, people. Someone get to work on that hard-hitting investigative piece, please and thanks.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Football is my dick

Like the guy wearing the $100 zebra dollar suit is going to tell the guy who leads the league in receptions and receiving yards he was out of bounds? Come on!

LOL @ the disgust with which Belichick throws the red challenge flag That's how I feel whenever I see anyone in the world do anything.

Alcoholism

That's a metaphor.

Live by the drank die by the drank.

That's the explanation of the metaphor.

I drank it anyway.

That's a literal statement from which you can infer subtext.

How to go to a concert

1) Don't be ten feet tall.

That's it.

Actually, probably best not to wear a hockey t-shirt as well if you can think of it. Thanks in advance. And stop farting so much in the crowd. Maybe save the buffalo sliders until after the show? Feel like those three things aren't too much to ask, right?

Friday, October 14, 2011

Come at me bro

by tyler littwin

Here's your regular reminder to for some reason. too if you must. Would probably do wonders for a certain someone's self esteem is all we're saying.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

People send me stupid things | Globe and Mail celebrity photos, two-headed snakes, ghosts, Pippa Middleton, I hate myself

KILL IT WITH FIRE via

For some reason, probably everything I've ever written on this site, people like to send me stupid things. I like that, because it's a lot easier than reading the entire internet, which is what I normally spend most of my day trying to do. Here's a few that were stupid enough to share with you stupid people, because if there's one thing the internet needs more of, it's sites that link to stupid things on the internet.

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Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Deconstructing the 8tz: Huey Lewis and the News and a study in obliviousness

In this week's installment of 'Lulzy music videos that we remember from that one time', music historian and actual person that exists Jake Zavracky sets his sites on Huey Lewis and the News. By the time he's through watching the video, he's learned a lot of valuable lessons. I like to think we all have. Like the one about how the only way to mend a broken heart is when a mannish blonde in a high-waisted bikini smiles at you and you follow her down the gross beach. Listen to Jake's saxophone-led bar rock band here. Read his PTSOTL stuff here.

A magnificent day, just like the day before it and the day before that; the magnificence of these days is only oppressive. These days only serve as a reminder: I am not where I want to be, I am not who I want to be. How can I enjoy such a magnificent day as this when I am so incomplete?

Look at all the perfect people lying on towels with their suntans and their hideous sunglasses. Believing their illusions. Believing in their happiness. And because they believe it, it is so.

Just like Suzanne. All her life, people have only said yes to Suzanne. She is completely oblivious to that fact, of course. She has no comprehension of how an ugly person walks through this world. She is simply unable to fathom why her less attractive friends make such a big deal about what seem like infinitesimal trifles; she tells them that “everything will be OK” and skips off into the night.

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Occupy Boston + apple picking + picture dump from my stupid life

Went down to tent city last night. It was a lot more subdued than I thought it would be following the big police action the night before.

Kind of underestimated how effective it is symbolically to put this together directly under the high-rises of the Financial District area. Made for some interesting juxtapositions.

Bunch more pics from the thing plus other things after the thing.

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Tuesday, October 11, 2011

PUNK ROCK PARENTING: How should I keep my kids from being into art or music??

Funny stuff from Sergeant D over at Stuff You Will Hate today. I particularly like one of the suggestions in the comments that says "Give them whatever they want, but force them to do manual labor. Exposure to manual labor will also help instill in them a deep hatred of manual labor which will lead to business school." That is 100% true, as I can attest. My dad ran a construction company, and he made me work for him a few summers in high school. I promptly became the pussy-ass liberal writer that you see today. Wait, maybe that was his trick?

PUNK ROCK PARENTING: How should I keep my kids from being into art or music??

Since I’m an ancient fossil, I find myself thinking a lot about stuff like whether my next car should be Lexus SUV or BWM 5-series, that my 15-year high school reunion is coming up this year, and how I should raise my kids. I mean, I don’t actually have any yet, but I hope to have some in the next year or three, and I figure it’s a good idea to start planning my family now.

Naturally, my worst fear is that my kids will get into fggty stuff like art or music instead of sports, business, and other stuff that successful, rich people do. It would crush me if they ended up pursuing the same embarrassing, worthless stuff that all the other losers in my family wasted their lives on, so I thought I would turn to you guys for advice on raising my future children! How can I keep them from turning into betas, losers and outcasts??? Wut do??

I see a few potential ways to handle it:

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Democracy = an NFL ref's out of bounds call

Occupy Boston

The Boston Police Department and the mayor's office's justification for arrests at Occupy Boston last night was that the protesters had moved outside of the city-approved protest area. Great. Democracy has been reduced to NFL refs making out of bounds call.

Mayor Menino, basically

BOSTON (AP) - Several protesters from the Occupy Boston movement are expected to appear in court for ignoring warnings to move off a plot of land in downtown Boston near where they have been camped out for more than a week.

Prosecutors say nine of the more than 100 people arrested early Tuesday were to be arraigned in Boston Municipal Court on charges of trespassing and disturbing the peace. Several other protesters were in court as a show of support.

Nadeem Mazen says police threw some protesters to the ground. City officials deny mistreating demonstrators.

The protesters are part of the national Occupy Wall Street movement. They had tried to expand from their original site to a second site across the street along the Rose Kennedy Greenway that recently was replanted with $150,000 worth of shrubs.

Police spokesman Jamie Kenneally said the arrests began about 1:30 a.m. Tuesday and were mostly for trespassing.

Boston police had warned protesters for several hours that they would have to return to Dewey Square, where a tent city has been steadily growing, and issued leaflets saying protesters could not occupy the greenway. My FOX Boston

PS, I like how the right wing critics of this protest location are all up in arms about a green space. Get a job your dirty hippies. Take that environment talk back to Russia.

Wasted Talent's "Jet Black Mustache" challenging my longstanding mustaches=stupid theory

Wasted Talent - Jet Black Mustache from Paul Foley on Vimeo.

I know I said fake mustaches are stupid, especially when they're on women, or on cars, but I never said I wasn't a big fucking phony, did I? Speaking of, here's Boston hip hop crew and wacky bros Wasted Talent's new "Jet Black Mustache" video, featuring cameos from every Boston ~~scenester~~ person at the Middlesex ever. It's a pretty hot track. I think.

What do you think, are fake mustaches still hillar+? Are you rocking a sweet 'stache right now? Are you DTP with these dudes? Do you like the way I perform fellatio on a slide whistle?

Occupy Boston turns violent as storm troopers enact mass arrests

via

Hundreds of Boston and MA state police enacted a massive assault on the peaceful Occupy Boston protests around 1 am last night. This video above, via, and a second below, Dig Boston's , show the police arresting members of the group Veterans for Peace.

I am not usually one for support the troops sentimentality here, but this man crying out "We are veterans of the United States of America!" while he's marched off by police for standing around with a flag is making me cry. If the movement was looking for its defining image and soundbite, it just found it.

via

Meanwhile the Boston Police were sending out messages like this over Twitter.

After clearing the area and arresting dozens of protesters, many violently according to numerous reports on Global Revolution, which ran a live stream of the events, the police began the systematic demolition of the protest camps with the aid of city garbage trucks, throwing tents and other such belongings into the trash.

: Boston PD, throwing all personal property of protestors into Garbage trucks and crushing it. Unlawful and fascist. ”

via

: Officer #10594 on video throwing ppl by neck. Picking ppl up while they're backing up, hurling to ground

via

There were also numerous reports of people on the scene with cameras being targeted first by police.

: Win a World Series and you can burn cars. Peacefully camp and criticize a bank and they will beat you and throw away your tent

: The mainstream TV and cable outlets are a joke. I know they're mostly run by over the hill boomers who are in bed right now, but is NO ONE covering ?

: I am learning more about the shocking events at from than your entire network. Keep up the good work!

Good work by my friends and colleagues at the Phoenix, Dig and Metro for covering this as it happened.

The Boston Globe has a rundown of the events here.

So, to summarize, that's around 100 people, according to the BPD, arrested for unlawful assembly and being in a park after 11 p.m. Remind me how many people went to jail for destroying the economy?

TO REPORT CRIMES COMMITTED 2NITE Text “TIP” to CRIME (27463) or call 1800.494.TIPS

I know of one pretty big one.

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The Boston Police Department and the mayor's office's justification for arrests at Occupy Boston last night was that the protesters had moved outside of the city-approved protest area. Great. Democracy has been reduced to NFL refs making out of bounds call.

The Ethical Scumbag

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