You remember the old bromide about fatherhood, right? Any fool can make a baby, but it takes a real man to be a father. But did you also know the same is true of growing a beard? A beard, much like a kid, also takes a lot of upkeep and maintenance; perhaps more so, although I'm not a parent myself so this is arguably up for debate. In any case, there's a lot about this most basic rite of manly passage that no one ever explicitly tells you about ahead of time, perhaps owing to that thing I just mentioned about fathering being a magnificent pain in the ass. That's why I'm here, to explain what the Lamestream Beard Media won't tell you.
How do I grow a beard?
Step one: Exist.
Step two: Wait. (Wait times my vary.)
Read the rest at Esquire.
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