Sunday, July 21, 2013

13 Guaranteed Ways to Beat the Heat This Summer

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Hooo boy, it’s hot out, you guys. Gonna be around 100 in the northeast today or tomorrow, so that means one thing: you’re on the lookout for ways to beat the heat. You came to the right place. Here are 13 tips from a guy who knows how to do it the right way.
Use sunblock. Make sure to place a strong layer of sunblock on your skin, such as a house with walls and closed windows, at least one of which holds an air conditioning unit. Alternatively, put a healthy lathering of office building you work in around your skin, and tell the co-worker complaining about the temperature setting being too low to shut the fuck up.
Think like desert folk. One trick in steamy desert climates is to hang a wet towel or sheet in front of an open window to filter cooler, drier air into a steamy enclosure. What type of sheet though? It’s called an air conditioning unit, and it costs like $100 at Target.
Read the rest.
Posted by Luke O'Neil at 10:54 AM 0 comments Links to this post
Labels: beat the heat, Bullett, summer

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Two things about the Rolling Stone cover
Everyone is up in arms about the decision by Rolling Stone to put Boston Marathon bombing suspect Dzhokhar Tsarnaev on the cover of its upcoming August issue. Everyone. I can’t remember an issue that has dominated my social media feeds this intensely since, I don’t know, feels like something weird happened recently, but trust me, it’s a big deal.
How best to respond though? That’s a question tens of thousands of people are asking themselves right now. Admittedly it’s not an easy one. Here are a few options that seem to be exceedingly popular.

Rolling Stone still exists? 

Haha, yup! This one is cool because it shows that you’re above the fray of popular entertainment. Not so above it to comment on it, react to it, and so on, but enough so that it sends a message to your friends that you’re a person of discerning taste.

Boycott Rolling Stone! This is an outrage. How dare they glamorize a murdering terrorist. 

This one shows that you are a sensitive person, but also that you don’t understand that sometimes bad people are notable and interesting, and that you probably don’t actually read much. That shouldn’t stop you from voicing your opinion, however. Hey, btw, remember when the New York Times published the same photo on page 1 and we all stopped reading it? Remember when Time had Hitler on the cover and then we never heard from that magazine again? How about Rolling Stone with Charles Manson on the cover? And then, as soon as that happened, everyone became cult-leading murderers.

Read the rest at Bullett.
HERE’S LOOKING AT YOU, KID. FROM BOSTON.

BOSTON – Far be it from me to tell anyone who was actually injured or lost a family member how to measure your grieving and rage, but the rest of you? Allow me to invoke the unofficial motto of this fine city of Boston: Go fck yourselves.

Rolling Stone has just unlocked the next level achievement badge in the media trolling game with their decision to place alleged Boston Marathon bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev on the cover of their August issue. The professional hand-wringers are out in full force, steeling themselves at the barricades of propriety for what promises to be a lengthy, entrenched battle over offending the delicate sensibilities of this brittle and fragile community. Wait, what happened to our steely reserve?

Read the rest at Esquire
Posted by Luke O'Neil at 10:04 AM 0 comments Links to this post
Labels: Boston Marathon bombing, Bullett, Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, Esquire, Rolling Stone

Sunday, July 14, 2013

George Zimmerman Found Not Guilty in Trayvon Martin Murder
LOL Fuck this shitty country, because budget-ass-Batman George Zimmerman, who stalked and murdered a teenager for the crime of existing while black has been found not guilty by a jury of his peers. His peers being another group of easily scared racists, which, since a jury is supposed to represent the general populace, have to sort of be commended for their jobs. Congratulations, you were American as fuck.
The jury, which had been sequestered since June 24, deliberated 16 hours and 20 minutes over two days. The six female jurors entered the quiet, tense courtroom, several looking exhausted, their faces drawn and grim. After the verdict was read, each assented, one by one, and quietly, their agreement with the verdict. NYT.
All of which is great news for anyone who ever wondered what it might’ve been like to experience the OJ Simpson trial and the Rodney King beatings in the age of social media, because you’re about to see it firsthand.
READ THE REST OF THE THING>>
Posted by Luke O'Neil at 12:08 AM 3 comments Links to this post
Labels: florida, fuck you, George Zimmerman, guns, racism, Trayvon Martin

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Chekhov’s Boner and Other Lesser Known Literary Devices


chekov
 
Chekhov’s Boner 
A story-telling principle which proposes that all introduced elements of a narrative must be resolved, i.e, if you mention Chekhov’s giant dick and balls in one scene, then it must reappear by the conclusion. As Chekhov himself wrote, “If in the first act you have gotten me all hard by rubbing your big-ass titties all over my junk, then by the end of the night I’m a get one off. Otherwise you wasting my time.”
Hamartia Brady
Originally derived from Aritstotels’ Poetics, where it was understood to be an error of judgment, our contemporary understanding of hamartia has taken on the context of a tragic, or fatal flaw, as in this commonly seen internet character trait of mistaking one’s own extensive working knowledge of pop cultural references as being anything to be remotely proud of, thereby rendering the hero a useless husk of vaguely familiar-sounding, but ultimately fruitless trivia regurgitated ad nauseum on internet listicles.
READ THE REST OF THE THING>>
Posted by Luke O'Neil at 12:10 AM 0 comments Links to this post
Labels: Chekhov, Feedbuzz, lists, literature

Sunday, July 7, 2013

Cab Crashes Into Out of Town News In Harvard Square

via


Aside from being a tidy bit of commentary on the state of Cambridge cabs in general, this also, conveniently, doubles as a metaphor for print media.  



Posted by Luke O'Neil at 9:27 PM 0 comments Links to this post
Labels: cabs, Cambridge, Harvard Square

Saturday, July 6, 2013

The 21 Worst Things About Living in New York City in the Summer
Many people live in The City, which is how they refer to New York City in The City. Unlike other cities, New York City, aka The City, has crazy hot summers, which people are forced to suffer through on the sidewalks and in apartments and various places of business. Here are some of the worst things about the summer in New York City, one of the top cities in America, which is currently experiencing summer heat. (h/t ).

Read the rest.
Posted by Luke O'Neil at 11:22 PM 0 comments Links to this post
Labels: Bullett, Buzzfeed, Feedbuzz, new york city

Catholic Church to Declare Pedophile-Protecting, AIDS-Promoting Pope a Saint

This morning  that two of his predecessors John Paul II, and Pope John XXIII, will have their jersey numbers retired and hung in the Vatican rafters this year, when they will be declared saints. For John Paul II, it’s one of the fastest turnarounds from pope to super-pope in church history – he was beatified, one of the first steps on the way to sainthood, merely six years after his death. Everything is sped-up in our instant gratification age, of course, but it’s been a rough couple of seasons for the Catholic Church, PR-wise, so this is the equivalent of a faltering sports club bringing back an aging superstar from decades’ past and wheeling them out onto the field for one last ceremonial trot around the stadium.
Pope John Paul II, who died in 2005, was, after all, the Michael Jordan of popes. GOAT!, the crowds chanted throughout the world, or would have, if anyone involved in the Church knew any hip hop slang. Truly a global brand, he traveled far and wide spreading the Church’s message of peace, and doubling and tripling-down on its staunch refusal to even consider the benefits of condoms in combatting the spread of AIDS in Africa. JPII, as the hip Catholics called him, said encouraging the use of condoms was a moral failing, and that the only solution to the grave pandemic and the vast swaths of suffering and death was trying not to be such slutty sinners all the time. “The Church is convinced that without a resurgence of moral responsibility and a reaffirmation of fundamental moral values any program of prevention based on information alone will be ineffective and even counterproductive,” was one common canard in his, ahem, pontificating on the topic throughout the 90s. Perhaps that might be true when you’re using the type of information he was selling, namely that condom use didn’t even staunch the spread of AIDS anyway, so what’s the point? Information has never been the Church’s strong suit.

Read the rest.
Posted by Luke O'Neil at 11:20 PM 0 comments Links to this post
Labels: AIDS, Bullett, Catholic Church, pope
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