Thursday, February 28, 2013

The Truth Loses Again: "Argo" and "Zero Dark Thirty"


Jake Zavracky is disappointed in the state of Hollywood's American propaganda, and for good reason:

I'm not sure why it never occurred to me that Ben Affleck's now Oscar winning "Argo" was a just another well made piece of propaganda. A dead giveaway should have been that any post World War II movie that portrays the American government as the good guys is going to be horseshit. However, after reading Nima Shirazi's excellent piece here on the blog "Wide Asleep In America", I don't know why I'm amazed that almost 100% of Argo is a fantasy. You should read the whole piece but here are some highlights:

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Whose Black Face Apology Was Worse, the Fashion Mag or the NYC Politician?



Black face is so hot right now. My only regret is that there wasn’t a third example in the news this week thereby making this a full-fledged trend piece. First up was New York City assemblyman Dov Hikind, who celebrated the Jewish holiday of Purim on Saturday by, as he explained, “trying to emulate, you know, maybe some of these basketball players.”

When asked whether or not, you know, dressing up in black face might not have been a great idea, he defended his choices, saying, among other really weird things, “I can’t imagine anyone getting offended. Purim, you know, everything goes and it’s all done with respect. No one is laughing, no one is mocking.”

Oh word. It’s Purim. You guys know how Purim gets, haha, What happens on Purim… as they say. He went on:

“You know, anyone who knows anything about Purim knows that if you walk throughout the community, whether it’s Williamsburg, Boro Park, Flatbush, Forest Hills, Kew Gardens Hills, people get dressed up in, you name it, you know, in every kind of dress-up imaginable.” That’s true, there are many different neighborhoods in Brooklyn where people dress up, hard to dispute that.  I guess you’re off the hook?

Read the rest. 

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Forbes’ America’s Most Miserable Cities List Is Miserable



Sentient listicle generator Forbes has birthed-forth from its quivering link-baiting thorax yet another glistening slideshow hatchling purporting to quantify city-wide character traits. Unlike previous, funner efforts, such as America’s Drunkest Cities, this time they’ve cobbled together a list called America’s Most Miserable Cities through sheer internet data-crunching moxie, and juuust a little bit of folksy methodology charm. I’d like to think they probably just called up all of America’s Drunkest Cities the next morning and asked them how they were feeling to find the answers.
The real method was a little more complex:
This year we examined nine factors for the 200 largest metro areas in the U.S. The metrics include the serious: violent crime, unemployment, foreclosures, taxes (income and property) and home prices. We also include less weighty, but still important quality-of-life issues like commute times and weather.
Anyone who doesn’t think commute time is the single more pressing issue regarding anyone’s misery clearly has never had a very bad one. It’s a fairly predictable list of all the usual shithole suspects, with Detroit coming in at #1, although I sort of think Whatever City I Happen to Be In At Any Given Time got short shrift this year. Michigan also nabbed the #2 honor, with Flint, coming in close second. Next up is Rockford, Illinois, which I haven’t even heard of, so there has to be some sort of self-esteem issues going on there contributing to their overall misery. Or maybe it’s the 11.2% unemployment rate?

Read the rest

Monday, February 25, 2013

Lil Poopy's Father Being Investigated for Child Endangerment


Massachusetts rap sensation Lil Poopy, who's racked up hundreds of thousands of views and widespread internet attention for songs in which he raps about, well, regular rap guy stuff, is at the heart of the second most infamous 9 year old African American pop culture controversy this week. A complaint of child abuse and neglect has been lodged against his father by authorities in his hometown of Brockton.
Police in Brockton said Sunday they are also informing state child welfare officials about the videos that feature fourth-grader Luie Rivera Jr., who goes by the stage name Lil Poopy.
The videos show the boy slapping a woman's buttocks, engaging in sexually suggestive dances and glorifying drug use and materialism.
Lt. David Dickinson told The Enterprise that the videos are "a bit much for a 9-year old."
I'm not sure what the big deal is here. Acting like an id-driven infant seems to be an acceptable move for almost every rap guy ever, but apparently working in the opposite direction is over the line.

Sunday, February 24, 2013

Best spots for hosting your big Oscar Party this year (update)

via

The Academy Awards are TONIGHT YOU GUYS, so it's time to start planning your Party. Get your Oscar pools ready to go, dry clean that tux, and keep the fridge stocked with Diet Coke,  because it's gonna be a doozy of a ceremony this year! Seth McFarlane you guys. The only question left is where to host it? Just kidding, I made a list for you.


Friday, February 22, 2013

Forbes’ America’s Most Miserable Cities List Is Miserable

 

Sentient listicle generator Forbes has birthed-forth from its quivering link-baiting thorax yet another glistening slideshow hatchling purporting to quantify city-wide character traits. Unlike previous, funner efforts, such as America’s Drunkest Cities, this time they’ve cobbled together a list called America’s Most Miserable Cities through sheer internet data-crunching moxie, and juuust a little bit of folksy methodology charm. I’d like to think they probably just called up all of America’s Drunkest Cities the next morning and asked them how they were feeling to find the answers.
The real method was a little more complex:
This year we examined nine factors for the 200 largest metro areas in the U.S. The metrics include the serious: violent crime, unemployment, foreclosures, taxes (income and property) and home prices. We also include less weighty, but still important quality-of-life issues like commute times and weather.
Anyone who doesn’t think commute time is the single more pressing issue regarding anyone’s misery clearly has never had a very bad one. It’s a fairly predictable list of all the usual shithole suspects, with Detroit coming in at #1, although I sort of think Whatever City I Happen to Be In At Any Given Time got short shrift this year. Michigan also nabbed the #2 honor, with Flint, coming in close second. Next up is Rockford, Illinois, which I haven’t even heard of, so there has to be some sort of self-esteem issues going on there contributing to their overall misery. Or maybe it’s the 11.2% unemployment rate?  Read the rest.

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Shia LaBeouf’s Guide to Manhood



What makes a man a man? Is it facing up to your mistakes and learning from them? Is it rising to challenges, and finishing a job, no matter the odds? Is it being kind of a prick that’s hard to work with because you feel things too much? Is it canoodling with Megan Fox and fighting robots in a shitty blockbuster franchise? (UPDATE: Bahaha, a man also takes an old Esquire bit and passes it off as his own. A man plagiarizes an apology, apparently, which at least makes that odd Mark McGwire mention, from 2009 when the piece was written, seem a little less out of left field).

Yes, it’s all of those things and more. Also publishing emails between your co-workers that explain why you’re not going to be able to punch in at the make pretend factory because the other make pretend guys don’t make pretend the way you’re accustomed to.  That’s what Shia LaBeouf did when it was announced earlier this week that he will no longer be appearing in the production of the critically lauded Lyle Kessler play Orphans opposite Alec Baldwin.  Read the rest.

Where Do Most ‘Missed Connections’ Take Place State By State? Hint: Exactly Where You’d Think


Quick, picture in your mind, say, a person in Texas, New Mexico, Arkansas, Mississippi, or Alabama. What are they doing right now? They’re at Walmart, obviously.  Oklahomans are at the state fair, natch, while Kansasians (?) are at McDonald’s (fat asses).  New Yorkers are riding the subway (and probably being rude to each other) and Californians are working out. (So superficial!)

One thing we all have in common, in this vast country of Walmarts and subways and subways you take to Walmart, is that we’re all desperately looking for someone to share our lonely existence with. You could probably just go ahead and assume that about everyone everywhere throughout the entirety of history and geography though. The findings of a new study published in Psychology Today (via) collected data on Missed Connection posts on Craigslist to determine where the most frequent occurrence of existential dread/horniness took hold of our bleak solo voyages through the void. Read the rest.

Monday, February 18, 2013

If downloading won’t kill record labels, maybe the post office will




With the explosion in file-sharing on the internet and the incremental obsolescence of the CD, traditional models for purchasing music have been hit hard in the last decade. But for years, a steadfast dedication to buying music the old-fashioned way—on vinyl and cassettes—has helped indie-music labels stay afloat. A recent change in the process of shipping those records through another similarly antiquated-seeming model, the U.S. Postal Service, has posed yet another hurdle for an already beleaguered music industry. Curiously, the USPS, long engaged in a losing war of attrition with the internet, now seems to be joining its ranks in making it more difficult for labels to stay in business.

“I don't know if it's 'killing the business,’” says Ryan Geis, manager of long-running Florida label No Idea Records’ distribution/mail order operation, “but it definitely hit the business in the knee with a hammer.”

Geis is talking about the across-the-board price increases the USPS instituted in late January. While the cost of mailing a letter domestically was minimal, it's international mailing—and shipping in particular—that saw a remarkable spike, one big enough that it could have an impact on the way many record labels and bands do business. Prices for international retail shipping services (of which there are a few different options) increased by an average of 14.5 percent, and in some cases as high as 50 percent. (You can read the specifics of the rate increase here.) Prices to ship to Mexico and Canada are now roughly the equivalent of shipping to Europe.

Watch Pitchfork's Lovely Oral History of Belle & Sebastian's 'If You're Feeling Sinister'



Belle & Sebastian are a problematic band. On the one hand, they're largely responsible for the Mumfordization of music (via The Decemberists via cardigan-wave). On the other hand, they were brilliant, original, evocative, and hugely influential in the development of my personal brand (via no friends in college), making the sad young literary prick seem like a viable career option. This Pitchfork oral history of the record rekindles the magic that this record conjured at the time, and tells some fun stories about its making. Watch it below.


Saturday, February 16, 2013

New York Times ‘Hipsturbia’ Exclusive Locates Rare Hipster Species Outside of Brooklyn



“People get those Brooklyn goggles,” Patrick McNeil, a Brooklyn painter exiled to the cruel hinterlands of the suburbs remarks in this New York Times piece “Creating Hipsturbia.” “They think it’s the center of the earth.”

Funny that you mention that.

The hipster trend piece paper of record reported exclusively this weekend on “Brooklyn,” an amorphous blob of 2.5 million homogenous citizens, all of whom are currently wearing some sort of hat or pants of one disagreeable fashion or another, knowing those guys.
A yoga studio opened on Main Street that offers lunch-hour vinyasa classes. Nearby is a bicycle store that sells Dutch-style bikes, and a farm-to-table restaurant that sources its edible nasturtiums from its backyard garden.
Across the street is the home-décor shop that purveys monofloral honey produced by nomadic beekeepers in Sicily. And down the street is a retro-chic bakery, where the red-velvet cupcakes are gluten-free and the windows are decorated with bird silhouettes — the universal symbol for “hipsters welcome.”
Only in Brooklyn! Except not in this case, because the tragic Guy de Maupassan twist in this lede is that we’re reading about an entire other place outside of Brooklyn, a suburb of New York, in fact. Call it Hipsturbia, they write in the latest installment of the reverse-engineered trend piece from clever portmanteau genre.  Read the rest.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

This Week's Worst Press Release: An Osmond Talks Male Menopause



"Merrill Osmond will be turning 70 in April and he wants to raise awareness and publicly talk along with his doctor about his recent depression, lack of energy and motivation associated with Andropause – Male Menopause" begins this press release I just got about a made up thing that I don't cover in any way. "Merrill was so depressed he actually considered suicide due to his aging and the affects it was having on his body and his health," that seems sad, sure, but what can someone like me do about it?  

"He works with Dr. Tutera from Phoenix, Arizona who did Hormone Pellet Therapy through his world-renowned clinic – SottoPelle." 

Ahh, ok, I see, it's a bullshit scam. Got it now. 
  
"Dr. Tutera has been doing this therapy for over 30 years, long before it became the 'in thing.'" 

Is that what you'd call that?

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Advice For Aspiring Music Writers: Quit Now



There may be 100,000 blogs about indie music, bikes, and beer already in existence, but what if there were 100,001? There is now, thanks to the initiative of a young man in Boston behind this Kickstarter project to fund his blog Indie, Bikes & Beer. All he needs to get going is $12,500. Sounds like a bargain, where do I sign up for this unique service?

"The music industry as a whole is a pretty negative place," Maxwell Nagel explains in the video introduction to his fundraising project, which isn't a Portlandia sketch as far as I can tell. "But within the indie music scene there are a lot of great artists, and there's no need to put any more negative exposure on great musicians."

You sure about that? That's where Mr. Nagell and I part ways. Well, that and the idea of starting a blog, wanting to "champion" anything, liking things in general, listening to music earnestly, talking about music, doing literally anything, and thinking other people want to read your writing about music. As a longtime music writer and blogger I can say this without it being racist: no one gives a shit. It's not just an entry-level blog no one gives a shit about either -- it's all of them. Skip the sincere pontificating jerk off, tell me a few hacky jokes, then fuck off so I can go look at this Buzzfeed gif roundup. A music writer isn't even a writer anymore, we're DJs who just point at a song for other people to go off and do their own thing with while we're moving onto the next track in the queue.

I know what you're thinking, though, starry-eyed would-be music scribes. There's soooo much good music out there, and you need to share it with the world. And yes, there is a lot of good music out there, and sharing it with people can be a rewarding experience, but one thing you may not be accurately assessing here, quantity-wise, is the sheer breadth of time and space. The internet is an infinitely gaping maw, and there are a lot of days in a year. You might not think you'll run out of great bands to hype, but you will, and sooner than you'd imagine. And then what do you do? You start repeating yourself, or writing about a band you're a little less enthused about. Eventually you write about a band you don't love all that much yourself, but hey, people seem to care about them, so let's get a post up. Next thing you know you're on to bands you actively dislike, because the content mill sleeps for no man. Woops, now you hate music, because, shit, look at all these bad bands you're writing about all the time. Didn't music used to make you feel good? What're you doing with your life? Then you inevitably hate yourself, which is kind of a bummer, but to be honest, it does provide a little creative-spike, material-wise, for a while there. 

Friday, February 8, 2013

These hacked George Bush emails are super depressing



A hacker has gained access to email accounts of family and friends close to former president George Bush, the Smoking Gun reported last night.
In e-mail exchanges with the person who claimed responsibility for the hack, the individual claimed to have swiped “a lot of stuff,” including “interesting mails” about George H.W. Bush’s recent hospitalization, “Bush 43,” and other Bush family members.
Included in the hacked material is a confidential October 2012 list of home addresses, cell phone numbers, and e-mails for dozens of Bush family members, including both former presidents, their siblings, and their children. The posted photos and e-mails contain a watermark with the hacker’s online alias, “Guccifer.”
Despite what you think before checking out the emails and photos about how interesting it might be to sift around through the personal details of a former president, let me assure you, the material is exactly as depressing to look at as any other human being's boring life. More so, really. If this isn't the saddest look into the mind of the one time most powerful, and regularly-lampooned men in the world you'll ever  see, I don't know what is:
In a December 26 e-mail to his siblings, George W. Bush wrote that he was “thinking about eulogy” and solicited stories that best illustrated their father’s sweet nature, favorite jokes, and acts of kindness. “Hopefully I’m jumping the gun,” noted Bush, who added, “But since the feeling is that you all would rather me speak than bubba, please help.” The mention of “bubba” is apparently a reference to Clinton, whom Bush has referred to as a “brother” due to his close relationship with George H. W. Bush.
He knows what we all thought? He knows :(   The paintings are, however, pretty hilarious.
The hacker also intercepted photos that George W. Bush e-mailed two months ago to his sister showing paintings that he was working on, including self-portraits of him showering and in a bathtub. Another image shows the former president painting at the family’s Maine retreat (his subject is St. Ann’s Episcopal Church, a historic seaside chapel down the road from the sprawling Kennebunkport compound).

See the rest here


A list of Boston restaurants that don't care about their employees' well-being UPDATE


 


Update: Same rules apply in this post below from when Hurricane Sandy hit to this weekend's snow emergency. I hope everyone who is open tonight is providing a safe way for their employees to get to and from work considering public transportation will be suspended. Here's a list from Grub Street Boston of restaurants that are open or closed tonight. Enjoy your brussels sprouts.

---

I was watching Kitchen Nightmares last night, which, oof on me, I know, but it was at a restaurant set in Boston, and fine, I am a big fan of Gordon Ramsey's awful TV shows. Predictably, the drama of the episode, set at Galleria 33 in the North End, came from a staff that didn't care about their job. In this case that happened to trickle downward from the dipshit owners who have no idea what they're doing, and don't seem to care at all. But a common refrain at the problematic restaurants on that show is owners who just can't figure out why their employees don't care as much as they do. 

Update: I posted an altered version of this at Bullett as well.
and saying "Weird how many restaurants are bad. You'd think an industry that pays its ESL staff $7/hr to cook the food and servers $2/hr to present it would have higher standards across the board," and it seemed to strike a chord among my many friends and colleagues in the industry. Go read the thread , there are some interesting reactions and points that others have made, but it comes down to this: if you want people to invest themselves in the business that you own, maybe you shouldn't do everything you can to pay them the bare minimum required by law?  


Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Nashville Club Employee Allegedly Fired For Wearing a Same Sex Marriage Shirt



After an employee of the Nashville music venue/youth outreach center Rocketown was fired in late January for what appeared to be his support of same-sex marriage, and a physical altercation between the venue's staff and a member of the band Volumes that was first reported as an instance of the club objecting to his own support of gay marriage (and later debunked), a flurry of outrage and condemnation arose online, with calls to boycott the venue by fans and threatened cancelations from bands.

In the first instance, Wes Breedwell, who had worked at Rocketown for seven years, is alleged to have been fired for inappropriate behavior on social media or for wearing a T-shirt expressing support of same-sex marriage, depending on which accounts you read. The only problem is, the entire situation may have been based on a misunderstanding, or at the very least, an exaggeration. And while it certainly is distasteful for an employer to fire a worker for their political beliefs, in this case, it wouldn't have been illegal for them to do so.

Monday, February 4, 2013

A$AP Rocky Has 'Fuckin' Problems' And I Have Some Fucking Problems As Well With The Top Ten This Week


Our man in the trenches Jake Zavracky continues his futile quest to understand popular recorded music.


10. A$AP Rocky feat. Drake, Kendrick Lamar and 2 Chainz - "Fuckin' Problems"

A$AP Rocky makes his first entry into the top ten this week with this stellar track, brilliantly produced by Drake (credited pseudonymically as C. Papi) and Noah "40" Shebib. A$AP's entire album is truly groundbreaking, the production is notably superior to everything else in this weeks top 10, and it will likely remain among the best albums released this year.

9. Phillip Phillips - "Home"

Phillip Phillp's "Home" flows through the lame neo-folk-rock floodgates opened by the intolerable Mumford and Sons. If you have managed not to have heard Mumford and Sons, picture a more tedious version of Coldplay with banjos, which is also exactly what Phillip Phillips sounds like. The song is about as original as Phillip Phillips parents were when they named him Phillip.

8. Rihanna - "Diamonds" (Congorock remix)

Remixes are supposed to be c-sides, not tracks that chart higher than the original song. Have we turned into a country with appalling taste in pop music, like France? Let's get it together America.

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Happy Hour is Murder (Update) No Free Drinks For MA Bars, Alcohol Board Recommends



With the opening of casinos in Massachusetts approaching in the near future, and with them the prospect of free alcoholic beverages, the Alcoholic Beverage Control Commission has been considering whether or not they should relax the restrictions against other bars in the state serving discounted drinks. I wrote about the ridiculousness of the arguments against it earlier this summer, in a post which you can read below. After a series of public hearings, the ABCC has released its recommendation that Massachusetts bars not be allowed to discount or offer free drinks.  

“Public safety was a key factor in conducting this review, and the overwhelming sentiment is that scaling back the ‘happy hour’ regulation would compromise the lives and well-being of the residents of the Commonwealth,” state Treasurer Steve Treasurer, who oversees the ABCC, said in a statement, the Boston Herald reports, making what's either a pretty silly typo, or else simply name-checking the dude with the most appropriate job in the history of names and jobs. (His name is actually Grossman). 

Is This Profile of 'Porcelain Doll' BU Women's Studies Professor Sexist Or What?



"With her delicate features, blue eyes, and blonde hair, Carrie Preston could double as a porcelain doll," reads the first sentence in this profile of the Boston University professor in BU Today from earlier this week. She's not a doll, actually; instead she teaches an introduction to Women’s Studies class where, I'm going to go out on a limb here, they probably cover something or other about likening women to passive playthings and whether or not an academic's appearance has anything to do with their success. (It does, of course, we're just not supposed to be upfront about it). 

Preston is giving a lecture on the pederasty in ancient Greece, the author of the profile observes.  "The practice was completely accepted at the time, she notes, because sex was about power and virility," unlike now, of course, where sex is about weakness and impotence.

Worst Restaurant Tipper In World, Pastor, Apologizes to Fired Applebees Waitress She Stiffed





On Wednesday, a restaurant receipt left at an Applebees in St Louis, in which the diner wrote in the tip section “I give 10% to God, why do you get 18%” and “Pastor” before leaving $0, went viral on the Atheism page on Reddit. The check, for $34.93 included an automatic gratuity of 18%, $6.29, or, just about enough to buy God an order of jalapeno poppers at happy hour discount prices. A server at the restaurant posted a picture of the tip online and was promptly fired, because America.

The Smoking Gun tracked down the pastor, whose identity was ferreted out by internet sleuths, the honorable Alois Bell, who feels bad about it now, maybe because of some serious reflection about the concept of charity and helping one’s fellow man, but mostly because the world has seen what a piece of shit she is.

“My heart is really broken,” Bell said. “I’ve brought embarrassment to my church and ministry.” Because what kind of God-fearing woman eats at Applebees, she probably meant.

That didn’t stop her from calling the restaurant and demanding everyone be fired. Not just the server in question, everyone.

Read the rest. 
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