My friend called out Lana Del Ray for her pro-pedophilia aesthetic on Twitter the other day. And then the internet happened.
Fuck that Lolita Shit: Why Lana Del Rey Re-Tweeted me and Got Lots of People Confused
I was listening to the preview for the new KickDrums song featuring A$AP Rocky and Lana del Rey song, “Riding” when I finally lost it.
“Pick me up after school, you can be my baby,” she coos. “You say that I am flawless, true perfection…so give me all your drugs.”
I’ll admit, singing about getting picked up after school by a rich powerful man who gives her attention and drugs, isn’t the most blatant example of, what I’m now calling, “pro-pedophilia,” in Del Rey’s work. Del Rey could arguably be singing from the voice of an 18+ college student here.
But she is the most famous pro-pedophilia celebrity of the moment, and she does this consistently.
In “Off to the Races,” she pays direct homage to Lolita, quoting Vladimir Nabokov, when she sings I'm the “light of your life, fire of your loins” over the persistent soundtrack of playground noises and children in the background.
In “Put Me in a Movie” she is the most straight forward about her pedophile undertones when she begs, “Come on you know you like little girls. Come on you know you like little girls. You can be my Daddy.”
While “Lolita” may have become a pop-culture term for someone who wears heart shaped glasses, frilly socks and makes frequent references to candy, there is another story behind “Lolita.” You know, the one about a grown man having sex with a child.
Just because “Lolita” is fiction doesn’t mean pedophilia is.
Pedophilia is a real thing that happens to an immeasurable amount of children. It is immeasurable because most victims keep quiet be it because it is too dramatic and traumatic a thing for them to deal with, because they are being threatened, or because they don’t know what the fuck is going on. But pedophilia happens. It happens in poor neighborhoods, and it happens in white upper middle class neighborhoods to young girls with pouty faces and cute outfits on.
Del Rey sings songs about sexual relations with children. They are pretty, appealing songs. I can’t be the only one who thinks that’s weird.
So, after listening to “Riding” and I realized Del Rey’s Lolita shtick wasn’t going anywhere, I decided my observation should be shared. Specifically with the three or four people who actually read my Twitter feed. And, the slim chance Del Rey would hear, I included her twitter handle too.
In the case of Del Rey, I’m not saying freedom of speech should be at all limited, but it shouldn’t be danced around through self censorship either. If something is about child sex, it needs to be OK to talk about how it is about child sex. To not do so is to suggest that pedophilia is OK, nonexistent, or should be ignored in polite company. Not talking about it makes it even harder for victims to speak out, and it creates a comfortable environment for abusers. In other words, to not talk about sexual abuse when it is there, is to perpetrate the problem.
I’ve never been a very good speller. I know this. Many people on the internet helped remind me. A few people were upset by my statement and called me a bully. 50+ people re-tweeted, and 33 people favorited. But, more than anything, people were confused by what I meant and why Del Rey retweeted it.
What I mean by “pro-pedophilia” is someone who endorses a culture with pedophilia in it. It’s pretty much the same idea as rape culture. When I say Del Rey is “pro-pedophilia” I mean her songs support a culture where pedophilia is common, tolerated, and condoned.
So that’s why I tweeted what I did. As for Del Rey’s end, I don’t know why she re-tweeted but here are a few of my best guesses.
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She thought I was being mean, and wanted me to look stupid for my dumb spelling, and for the Internet to be mean to me back.
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It was a mistake. She didn’t mean to do it.
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She wanted to open up a dialogue about the undertones of pedophilia in her work.
Number 3 brings me to another point: It’s not unlikely for a victim of sexual abuse to try to capitalize on their experience. Perhaps Del Rey can relate to Lolita more so than she lets on.
The truth is, I’m not out to stop Del Rey. Freedom of speech is important. What I mind is that aesthetic is described not as mimicking pedophilia but mimicking Lolita without discussing the implications. Why? Are people scared about talking about it? Is it impolite because it makes people uncomfortable?
Like I said, I can’t ignore it anymore.
And Lana Del Rey, what ever the reason was you re-tweeted me for the six hours that you did before taking it down, thank you for being brave enough to open up the discussion.
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23 comments:
Cool story about Twitter, bro?
Twitter drama is a viable internet subject. But, you know, the larger point is valid for discussion as well.
It was weird when Depeche Mode sang about it, weird when Motley Crue sang about it, and not so weird when Insane Clown Posse did it.
I've always felt strange singing along to Question of Time.
True, it's pretty expected when male rock bands do it. Or at least it used to be more acceptable.
It's only weird when people act like it isn't what it is.
And when suddenly lots of people on the internet are asking you about it.
*only weird in art.
Should have included Tipper Gore's Twitter handle too.
I S W U D T
I'm not sure she's condoning anything tbh.
Relationships with age and/or power imbalances would seem to be a valid subject for a coming-of-age female artist.
She's using old tropes and references to show the 'wrongness' of these or whatever it is artists do, but without an answer from her, who knows?
It just doesn't pass the outrage test with me.
It sounds more like "I was 17 and I fucked this guy for drugs and I really regret it but I was messed up" rather than "A trusted relative violated and hurt me and I was never the same again"
They're both paedophilia in some states but they don't seem to me to be the same story, in life or art.
Coming from the POV of a woman, I'm a lot less skeeved out by this than listening to Springsteen warbling about his 'bad desire' in I'm On Fire.
i just figured bruce was singing to the rich lady in the video who was probably older than him. plus for years i thought the soaking wet sheets were from him pissing the bed, so he was probably just a youngfella himself.
No one else called her out that she's also a white girl stealing the style of an East L.A. Chola and making it paleatable for mainstream. Her name 'Lana Del Rey' ! Come on. And big hoop earings with lipstick and a high buttoned collared shirt.
When she makes consistent references to "Lolita," it becomes more than a "I was 17 and I fucked this guy for drugs thing." It refers to a story where a trusted tenant violates a child.
I don't think Lana or her crew set out to condone pedophilia directly (God,I hope not) but by channeling Lolita in her every word and move, without reflecting on the very ugly side of that story, they are in fact making pedophilia cute and indirectly condoning it.
Despite that, I'm not saying don't listen to Lana -- in addition to the whole child sex thing, she also sings about addiction, and being unstable -- stuff that seems to pretty much fit the bill victim wise.
I'm not making the call as to what stories should or shouldn't be told. All I'm saying is that Lana be aware of what she is doing, and listeners should know what they are listening to.
I know, Del Rey isn't the first person to sing about this stuff. But just because lots of stuff is skeevy doesn't mean I'm gonna stop calling stuff skeevy.
Oh, and I have woman's POV too :)
I think Lana Del Rey put way less thought into those lyrics than you did.
amen vegan jules. free speech is wildly important but more media outlets needs to start calling out artists when they jack styles from city cultures for personal gain and credibility. As a matter of fact more media needs to start calling out a bunch of things. lana del rey co-opting culture is actually one of the last things that be should called out, but get to it at some point or the other.
Also, she is fucking crazy. As long as she keeps singing live in the style of Louis Armstrong with the hiccups after swallowing one of those girl Chipmunks I'm pretty sure no cool young girls will want to emulate her.
I find Zipper's comments to be offensive. To be clear, Lolita's sexual pursuer was technically not a pedophile (according to the standards set in the DSM), so I assume Zipper is using the word in the more common colloquial sense. In this case, pedophilia is still generally considered to be a paraphilia. It describes someone's sexual interest/preference. It is NOT LIKE RAPE CULTURE. Many pedophiles (myself included) would NEVER harm a child. I'd kill myself before I ever raped a child. I do not choose to be sexually attracted to children, that is just how I am. I do NOT commit or condone rape. Please stop equating sexual interest with rape. Thank you for reading this.
There is another great write up of my twitter incident with Lana Del Rey at Waffles Media.
My Question for Lana Del Rey:
http://wafflesmedia.tumblr.com/post/20450923123/my-question-for-lana-del-rey
Waffles asks some really great questions about Lana's intentions.
SRP is the indignant paedophile! I knew I hadn't dreamt his comment. He actually has an interesting point. I just thank God I'm into ladies with big tits.
I want to marry a little girl. Your country prevents that all around the globe. I resent you for that. I hope the muslims saw off your head.
Or she could just be in to ageplay... :T
What a load of shit. Of course she isn't promoting paedophilia you moron. Keep reaching. Find something more significant to do with your time. haha
I agree she's probably just into ageplay.
I have to admit that i agree with you about the pedophile subject in her songs. A lot of her song have underage sexual connotations. In her older songs she also sings sexual subjects in a higher child-like pitch and it is suuuupppppeeerrr creepy. Hearing stuff like this and knowing those who are victims of child molestation, I think some of her songs are pretty gross. I'm surprised there are not more people talking about it.
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