PTSOTL Awful Music Reporter Evan Kenney reaches elbows-deep into the shitty music toilet for us to uncover the secrets of fortune and fame in the entertainment biz. Never mind KISS, these dudes needs to be inducted in to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame fast.
Ok, all you ladies and ghouls who are looking to start your own "next biggest thing" musical group, you can now put away the facepaint, the throwback tacky clothing, the Jason Newsted shaved-head and the songs about "partying in the bathroom" because a band out of Malibu, California called Surf Punks have already discovered the true elements of success.
I seldom use the terms "pioneer" or "genius," but when it comes to these guys let's just say that they make Handel look like Lil' Bow Wow.
Ok, all you ladies and ghouls who are looking to start your own "next biggest thing" musical group, you can now put away the facepaint, the throwback tacky clothing, the Jason Newsted shaved-head and the songs about "partying in the bathroom" because a band out of Malibu, California called Surf Punks have already discovered the true elements of success.
I seldom use the terms "pioneer" or "genius," but when it comes to these guys let's just say that they make Handel look like Lil' Bow Wow.
I'm not sure if you can wrap your head around the true meaning of this masterpiece, but one insightful soul from the comments section on YouTube seems to have fully grasped the masterpiece that is "Big Top."
It's hard to know what they were talking about here. The lyrics, though poetic, were so metaphorical that when combined with the visuals one must come to the conclusion that the woman's breasts represented the abundance of our planet, and that the band, which of course represented mankind, was capable of living in peace amongst the gyrating hips of nature, despite the fact that the core of nature was being chased by a man with a three foot, red penis. These guys were deep.
Now, I know what you may be thinking, especially if you're a music historian like Luke, whose reaction when I showed him this video was "Not to be crass or whatever, but I want to drown that woman's tits in a tidal wave of semen. I want to grab them by the back of their tit heads and hold their faces under the surface of a semen ocean like they owe me money, then keep them there until they stop struggling for air."
You know, average guy talk. Normal locker room stuff. That's cool, bro, I said, but you need to look at the true spiritual light that surrounds a song like "Big Top."
You know, average guy talk. Normal locker room stuff. That's cool, bro, I said, but you need to look at the true spiritual light that surrounds a song like "Big Top."
I think it was Faye Dunaway who said "You've got to give the people what they want." Thanks to the Surf Punks, we got it. And by it I mean hearing the terms "bazooms" and "over the shoulder boulder holders" for the first time ever in a video where a juggy ass woman gets chased by the lifeguard in booth 69 with a big red flotation cock while the Spicoli version of Phil Collins holds it down on the skins.
--EVAN KENNEY
--EVAN KENNEY
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7 comments:
If you told me this was some Wavves-wave contemporary band I would've believed it.
There was a girl in that video? Too busy paying attention to that chicken costume and surfboard guitar.
I might rub one out to that video
Been contemplating that myself.
"they make Handel look like Lil Bow Wow." I'm gonna frame that quote
PS: Frank Zappa's "Titties and Beer" should be second place ONLY to this song. .
THAT SKATEBOARD GUITR IS PRETTY SICK DOE
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