As readers of A Song and Ice and Fire will surely remember, our man Tyrion Lannister is no stranger to what, I think they call, "Medieval-ass pussy." Oddly, on the HBO version, a show where the directors seem to think there's no scene that won't be improved upon by tit meat, there's been comparatively little onscreen fucking between Tyrion and his (awfully portrayed) mistress Shae. "I'm kind of surprised that they haven't showed Tyrion fucking her yet," my friend said. "They fuck every few pages in the second book. I don't get it."
Maybe Peter Dinklage, aka THE DINK, isn't comfortable faux-fucking on film, I said.
"You gonna tell me that dude doesn't want to pretend he's fucking a normal sized porn whore?"
Well, no, I don't think he wants to do that. I'm sure that homeboy has had more than his fair share of chances to do just that IRL. That lead to a debate about just how much action dude has gotten over the course of his career, because that's a reasonable topic for discussion.
[Before we go on, I want to point out that there's nothing funny or fascinating to me about "little people" and anyone who thinks there is is a racist piece of shit.]
But that said, I am endlessly fascinated by the sexual exploits of moderately famous people. Not the super famous mind you, just the sort of famous. Dudes who can use their fame to score mad pussy, but maybe have to work at it a little harder. A guy like Dinkleage, for example. Complicating matters, however, is that he is inarguably a smaller fellow, and the preferred masculine sexual traits do tend to revolve around strength and power. So how does that work out for him?
No way, said my friend. This hypothetical swordsman scenario is not happening. I beg to differ. Almost every woman I know has remarked how handsome he is when he comes up. Even if he weren't, he's still famous, relatively wealthy I'm sure, and seemingly very hip/artsy/talented. Dude is up to his ears in pussy. Literally. Or he was before he got married anyway.
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"No self-respecting chick is actually fucking a midget, or, anyway, not en masse." My friend said. "I guarantee you I've fucked more pussy than that dude, no problem, and I am not rich or famous). I don't care how good looking his dome is. The rest of him is gnarled and stumped. Dudes are gross enough when they're regular sized, I doubt seriously that it gets better in miniature. And while it's true that physical appearance from an aesthetic standpoint isn't the main point of attraction for most females, there is something biological in their brains that's like 'we don't want to fuck the mutant, we want to fuck the ones with great genes!' Absolutely some people would fuck him for non-sexual/reproductive reasons, but no way he's getting 'mad pussy.'"
I think talent, or charm, or a sense of humor is what most women are attracted to anyway, right? Add fame into the mix and it's a lock. Millions of women throughout history have thrown themselves at or "dated" the grossest, oldest, boring rich dudes who they are certainly not physically attracted to. [Lest you think I'm sounding misogynist here, at least women take other factors into consideration than the basic-biology bullshit that most men use. Boobies! ME LIKE.] Take the character he plays as a case in point. Tyrion is vastly less attractive than Peter Dinklage. He's a true "monster" not just a shorter version of a handsome dude. And yet his power and wealth make him attractive.
A second friend chimed in.
"I think he's banged exponentially more broads. In all of my obsessive consumption of dwarf-related media, a trend has appeared: Dwarf-banging as stunt fuck.
There was one TV doc where a guy talks about how it's weird going to a dwarf convention, which are notorious as non-stop hookup deals, because normally he bangs non-little-people girls, who do it out of curiosity. And Dinklage's breakthrough movie role revolved around that same notion, that girls want to bang a novelty, but don't want to have a dwarf as a boyfriend.
So I think the truth is that he's enjoyed lots of full-sized vagina, way more than a non-famous, non-hip, non-attractive dwarf, but still maybe a comparative lack of long-term relationships."
There was one TV doc where a guy talks about how it's weird going to a dwarf convention, which are notorious as non-stop hookup deals, because normally he bangs non-little-people girls, who do it out of curiosity. And Dinklage's breakthrough movie role revolved around that same notion, that girls want to bang a novelty, but don't want to have a dwarf as a boyfriend.
So I think the truth is that he's enjoyed lots of full-sized vagina, way more than a non-famous, non-hip, non-attractive dwarf, but still maybe a comparative lack of long-term relationships."
What do you think? Is THE DINK's nickname well-earned? Ladies, would you sit on Tyrion Lannister's face? Even if it didn't mean all the gold in Casterly Rock?
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13 comments:
Any woman who says he's handsome is thinking "Ew gross a dwarf!" and feels guilty about it. You and my bf complaining he's too handsome to be Tyrion are thinking some weird extra gay thoughts and feel guilty about it.
Hm, so it's guilt projection eh? Interesting.
If there were other dwarf actors on the show you prob wouldn't pick him out as the most handsome. That lumpy face and Orlando highlights and the way he says gold "gewald" are extra boner killers. But like if Jon Snow were a little person I would feel no less boner stricken. So I'm not racist jsyk.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajVGIRsKXdo&feature=share
Attempted to post this to your coachella re-post. I can forever hate on this, but what's the point? People paid for this.
I was going to get around to posting about that but couldn't bring myself to watch the video for fear of dying from embarrassment.
Y'all aren't spending enough time in NY or LA. Of course he's up to a non-little-person's eyeballs in trim, or would be if he weren't committed. Fame and talent and reasonable looks trump a lazy pituitary gland, at least where he's running around.
That's wut um sayin JB
OK, so the little guy ain't pulling as much tang as O'Neil. He's def getting more than Verne Troyer. I'd say he's atop the little person hierarchy of getting laid. While the ladies might not go for them you know a dude would give his left nut to pork a dwarf hooer.
Peter Dinklage is having all my pussy.
Yeah, Peter Drinklage could get it. I've never been one for going for exceptionally handsome dudes. If you can make me laugh, have a conversation and treat me sweet, you could be Herman Munster and have a chance. Peter is reasonably good looking guy facially, he's fit, and he's got "swag" as the kids say nowadays. I'm sure I'm in the minority here, but there's still probably enough girls like me who would get with someone like Peter simply because he's awesome. I should also probably mention my fiancé is shorter than me, but I do know some girls where that would be problem. It really depends on the girl, I guess.
I personally think females being attracted to tall and strong guys is hold over from our caveman days and more and more girls are becoming attracted to intelligence because that's a much more useful trait in a modern world.
I Just Love Him.
He can have mine anytime!
There is something so sexy about a truly confident shorter guy...oh, my, I would totally so do Peter Dinklage...in a heartbeat.
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