PTSOTL: September 2012

Sunday, September 30, 2012

Scientists discover nature's rapiest fish

A Mexican fish species known as the llanos mosquitofish, or as I like to call them, the rapey bro fish, has developed an interesting adaptation to the problem of meeting suitable mating partners: he's opened an OK Cupid profile. That's only half of the story though; the fish, as Brian Langerhans of North Carolina State University explains in the Journal of Fish Biology (via), has four hooks on his fish boner that make it harder for the female to resist. Four hooks and one big dick is usually how my review of most Coldplay albums go.

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Saturday, September 29, 2012

Republican documentary: Obama's mother was a porn star, father a communist

A documentary, although I use that term only in the contemporary political discourse sense where words don't actually mean what we think they mean, purporting that president Obama's mother Ann Dunham posed for pornographic bondage pictures, and that his father was actually poet and American Communist Party member Frank Marshall Davis has been mailed to hundreds of thousands of voters in swing states, with millions more allegedly ready to be sent (Digital Journal/Daily Mail). Thus proving, yet again, that these idiots can't even get their lies straight about the radical Christian/Muslim president born of both a Kenyan father and an American communist at the same time.

The pictures, (and the desperation), have actually been floating around the right wing sections of the internet where you don't want to let your kids wander alone at night, for a few years now, but have come scratching forth from the partisan grave, zombie-like, once again because of right wing shit head Joel Gilbert's film being back in the news. The basic premise of the strategy here, in actual presidential politics, is this: Your mom was a slut. Also your dad was a lefty poet, which, ok, that's something that we can all agree is unfortunate. No one wants a poet for a father.

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Friday, September 28, 2012

Can Your Favorite Beer Predict How You’ll Vote?

No. The answer is no, of course, as it will always be for headlines that end in a question mark, but someone did some kind of study or other looking into it, so it behooves us to at least ask the question....

Some other interesting findings from the chart here: Sam Adams drinkers tend to be Republicans with a high voter turn out rate. Sam Adams Light drinkers identify a bit more toward the left, because being fat is a Republican tent pole issue. Molson drinkers tend to be higher turn out Democrats, because anything remotely affiliated with Canada is obviously a communist plot. Corona and Heineken drinkers lean heavily toward the left, but, strangely, don’t vote that much, perhaps because they’re too busy pooping out that gross swill on the toilet to leave the house on election day? The data doesn’t really get into bathroom habits, sadly....read the rest at Bullett.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

First clip of my TV show pilot finally comes out

Hey there, I was talking a lot about shooting a pilot for a TV show a while back, which a bunch of people were nice enough to write about. It's a talk show set in a bar, where I'll rotate through a series of guests from the worlds of cocktails, cooking, music, writing, fashion arts etc called Carousel. More details here. After a slight delay we're finally rolling out clips. The first one is set in Saloon in Davis Square, and Hayley and I learn how to make a Manhattan and an Old Fashioned using the great local Privateer Rum. , as we'll be posting more over the next couple weeks.

You'll Never Use Cocaine Again After Seeing This Picture

No, not this one, the one below

Cocaine you guys. Bit of a upside/downside conundrum there isn't it? On the one hand: Fashion! Movies! Music! Parties! Late nights staring into the void contemplating the emptiness of your existence! On the other hand it really makes it a lot easier to talk to people involved in fashion, movies, or music, something I've never really been able to stomach sober.

Another thing I can't really stomach is this picture below of James Brown, the 45 year old Scottish property developer (via Gawker) whose nose collapsed after years of cocaine abuse, and whose story the Daily Mail is reporting this week.

Pretty gross right? Is it gross? Someone needs to go look and tell me because I haven't been able to take another peak since I first saw it. Paradoxically, I also haven't been able to get the image out of my mind. Funny how the brain gets confused sometimes. Better sprinkle some cocaine on it for a pick me up, brb.

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Finally a Boston Listicle Gets It Right: The 25 Douchiest Bars in Boston

via

[UPDATE BELOW]

As you know, we get a little salty about shitty blog posts about Boston around here. We also know a thing or two about the bars of Boston, not to mention the fine city's many species of douche fauna. So imagine our excitement when this list of the 25 Douchiest Bars in Boston came out today at Complex. I'd already tied the table cloth around my neck like a bib and was ready to dig into what was sure to be a clueless turd of a listicle tossed off by some noob who'd been to like ten bars in Faneuil Hall and called herself an expert before I even opened the page, but woops -- and I'm not sure if I'm disappointed or happy to say this -- it's actually a pretty solid list. It spans a decently wide range of neighborhoods (except, you know, obviously not the "bad" ones, because college-aged people don't know they exist), although it does lean a little heavily on guido night clubs and sporty frat douche bars. I never thought I'd ever hear myself say this, but I could've gone for a few more hipster jokes in here. (What the fuck is wrong with me today?) Also could've used a sprinkling of the snooty cocktail douche sub-species in there, or anywhere that a blue collar person might ever go in a million years as well, but this is a fine place to start for people looking for a list of bars to avoid here.

It's also important to keep in mind that when you're a douche yourself, as so many of you are, the easiest way to find the douchiest bar in any given city is to just show up, and then there you are.

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Wednesday, September 26, 2012

My interview with Morrissey. NBD

Dale Stephanos via Boston Phoenix

When you're a veteran music journalist, especially one as miserable and jaded as I am, it takes a lot to get you excited for an interview. Then again, it's not every day you get to talk to the only musician you've ever really cared about, one who's played a huge role in shaping your worldview and identity over the years. That day still hasn't come, sadly, but, as consolation, I did manage to score an email interview with Morrissey, the legendary erstwhile Smiths frontman and solo artist whose current tour brings him to Boston October 5.

I'd be negligent in my duties — and fandom — if I didn't report that I got a little teary-eyed just reading back the responses which, to use a technical term, could not have sounded more Morrissian if he tried. What's the big deal, though? He's just another human being, just like anyone else, right? Maybe not, he says. I asked him his thoughts on meeting his idols, about his forthcoming biography (reported to be out by year's end), and his memories of Boston. No, I didn't propose a Smiths reunion. Stop us if you think that you've heard that one before....read the rest at the Boston Phoenix.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Starting to think Thought Catalog might not actually know what it is a writer does

At the risk of sounding like I'm harping on Thought Catalog too much lately, I think I finally figured out what the problem is over there. It's not that they're all bad writers, although many of them are, it's just that they're really bad at writing about being a writer. I think it's possible that some of them literally do not know what it is that a "writer" actually does. For many of these straw-people I'm inventing on the spot, a writer isn't someone who does, meaning a person who writes, it's a person who is, meaning, tits-around the world tilting at content mills, writerly.

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Gawker's Most Racist Cities In America Search: Boston

I was all set to get fired up about yet another cliched blog post about Boston being racist after that turd on Thought Catalog the other day, so I decided I'd go to Facebook to ask my black friends in Boston what they thought about people saying this shit all the time. Then I realized I don't really have many, so I guess you win this round, Gawker. Fair play. Then I remembered the reaction to that 'terrorist graffiti' from last month. And this, and this, and this, and this and especially this.

Oh shit, and how could I forget this gem from our actual fucking senator's campaign staff: Scott Brown staffers do Indian war whoop at Warren rally?

Obviously a post like Gawker's is just meant to provoke nerds like me into getting mad, so I'm not going to quibble with the evidence presented therein, which basically amounts to three cool stories from three cool bros, and a couple of bullet points about sports teams. You can though, you're not as even-tempered and level-headed as me. What's the deal, are we any more, or less, racist here than any other major city?

What's it like to live in Argentina?

PTSOTL is a travel guide now. Samanta Torres Herrera is a journalist who lives in Argentina. She was nice enough to explain a little bit about her country to us, which, up until this point, the only things I ever really knew about were that it was home to my homeboy Jorge Luis Borges, one of the greatest authors in any language, never mind just Spanish, the fact that they love their Fernet, go batshit over soccer, and, I'm just guessing here, are absolutely up to their tits in babes.

(Check out previous entries on what it's like to live in Colombia, Canada, Qatar, New Jersey, Illinois, and suburban Mass). Live some place weird and/or not weird and want to tell us about it?

You may have heard about Argentina when someone mentions Tango or Maradona, but it is way more than just that. Argentineans are famous for being very chatty and Mr. know-it-all type people, but the truth is we aren’t like that (well at least not all of us, I could name a bunch of know-it-alls around here), we are just more open at meeting new people. The most probable situation to happen to a foreigner when he gets to know an Argentinean is that he or she invites you ‘a tomar unos mates y charlar’ that means ‘drink mates and have some talk’.

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Link Dump: Lana Del Rey, Mitt Romney, Kanye West, Marina and the Diamonds, MySpace launch, and Tegan and Sara

Here's what I've been busy ~~complaining about~~ covering over at Bullett this week in case you missed all these super important news stories because for some reason you don't and you're forced to read them a couple days late on this site instead of hot and fresh in your hands when they pop out of my brain oven like a mythological Zeus baby of words.

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Sunday, September 23, 2012

Boston's hospitality industry workers poor, idiots, says study

Giving credence to what your judgmental parents and every one of the shittiest people you know has ever said about working in restaurants, Boston's hospitality industry workers are poor, uneducated simpletons. So says a recent study by the Boston Redevelopment Authority (more or less).

According to the study (Eater Boston via the North End Patch) "The largest occupations in the accommodation and food services industry in Boston include waiters and waitresses; combined food preparation and serving workers; restaurant cooks; and bartenders."

The top ten jobs in the industry, making up about 76% of the jobs in the overall field, are listed as the following:

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Saturday, September 22, 2012

America's Top 10 Hipster Greenhouses

As we learned in that last post about America's most hipster neighborhoods, food trucks are for hipsters, as are restaurants and consuming food produced in all manner of different structures. Sometime that food is carried back to apartments, where hipsters often live, and have even been known for propping up that one sad little potted fern in the corner that they all seem to have.

But what about going next level, and skipping all the way back to the source and hanging out where these plants and vegetables are actually grown? It's the next trend sweeping the nation, and greenhouses are becoming a "thing" for young people from Crown Heights to Pasadena to Akron, whose hipsters are dressing up in comically over-sized overalls and rubbing fertilizer and dirt all over their stupid faces. PTSOTL partnered with Google to compile this list of America's Top 10 Hipster Greenhouses.

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America's Best Hipster Neighborhood List Mostly Accurate, Still Dumb

via

"Hipster' has always been tricky to define, partly because no one wants to admit to being one," says this summary of another site's content on the Huffington Post, which I am summarizing here for content in this post. "Nonetheless, let's keep trying, over and over and over again because we think you people are fucking idiots."

"Sure, everyone knows that Portland and Brooklyn are hip cities," the post begins, setting a new record for quickest use of the "sure, but" construct, the second most pervasive internet cliche of our times besides listicles about hipsters -- although that's soon to overtaken by snarky dismissal reactions to cliche listicles about hipsters if I have anything to do with it -- "But not everyone knows about the hipster neighborhoods within those and other cities."

Mind blown.

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Everything and nothing you need to know about a trip Europe

Tall white guy and PTSOTL regular Jake Zavracky, who we last heard from giving us a tour of the foreign land of Park Slope, went on a trip where he learned many valuable lessons. He spent a week in Europe, which now, under current internet standards, qualifies him as an expert. More from Jake on this site here. Go check out his music here.

VENICE - Venice is patrolled by the Fuck Police, a team of police who go around fucking people. Or at least that's what I'm assuming, I never saw them.

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Thursday, September 20, 2012

Thought Catalog Does It Again with The Stupidest Piece About Boston You've Ever Read

Welcome to Boston

If you woke up today feeling a strange sense of peace and harmony in the world, as if everything was happening exactly as it should, it's probably because Thought Catalog posted another insanely vapid, empty listicle devoid of anything even remotely approaching insight or actual information appealing to anyone besides a generation raised with highly attuned olfactory palates for the nuances of their own special snowflake excrement. Join me, won't you, in considering the stupidest introduction to the city of Boston I've read besides every single other time anyone else has ever written this exact same article. Except the time I did.This is the most Thought Catalogy piece I've ever seen since the last one.

The content itself is execrable enough, but I have to say the most alarming part for me here is the author bio. "Gaby Dunn is an editor at Thought Catalog and a columnist for the New York Times Magazine."

A few excerpts:

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Wednesday, September 19, 2012

What Happened During the #Missing2Mins From the Leaked Romney Video?

Conservatives have suggested there may be selective editing at work in the Mother Jones videos released earlier this week which, apparently, are missing two minutes of footage. Romney himself has called for the full version of the tapes to be released, which sounds a lot like telling a cop who just pulled you over for speeding that he may want to take a look in the trunk too while he’s here just in case.

What do they expect happened in those two minutes, exactly? Did Romney break down laughing. “Oh shit, oh shit. I had you guys there, I can’t stunt like that anymore. You should’ve seen the look on your faces.”

Is there anything besides that that could mitigate the damage of his remarks, or put them into context?... read the rest at Bullett.

Monday, September 17, 2012

The single worst counterargument from a conservative I've ever seen

I posted earlier here about this piece I wrote for Bullett showing the damning secret Mitt Romney video that emerged today that in an ideal world would sink his campaign, but in reality will probably only energize the base. Surprisingly we were one of the first to jump on it after Mother Jones uncovered it, which is almost a real thing to be proud of in internet news now, as it's obviously gone on to grab headlines all over the internet, from NYT on down.

You can read an excerpt of what I had to say below, but that's not what I'm here to tell you about. I want to tell you about the single stupidest response to a political discussion I have ever gotten in my life, which came in the form of this quote from a conservative Facebook person that trolls my every political thread. Once you read that stick around below for the most hilarious part of the link the dude shared.

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Can You Actually Be Arrested for Thought Crimes?

via

It's not possible to be arrested because of the books you own is it? Not in America anyway. Well think again, hippie. The following blog post, re-published with permission from The Sound and Noise, tells a scary story about our new thought crime culture.

Just a few weeks ago, an FBI task force raided a home in Portland, Oregon very early in the morning. They broke down the front door with a battering ram and threw in a stun grenade, which is non-lethal but produces a very loud and disorienting noise and a blinding bright light. The team locked down the building and secured the sleepy, compliant occupants. The operation was one of several which also occurred in Olympia, WA and Seattle, WA, involving some 60-80 officers.

Just who were these dangerous criminals, these domestic terrorists whose threat level is so high that an FBI team with stun grenades, battering rams, and assault rifles needed to burst into their homes in the wee hours of the morning?

Why, it’s these two young folks:

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31 is the new 30. Why Aging Sucks

Padraic O'Connor is about to turn thirty one, and he's conflicted about this important milestone. He explains why below.

A friend of mine told me recently that my writing reads like it was written by a thirty year old who still listens to Saves The Day. While I’m pretty sure he didn’t mean that as a positive, it did get my brain working. I came to two conclusions:

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Most inadvertently hilarious press release of the week

Yes, yes, I know I'm a child, but this is the most inadvertently hilarious press release of the week. The only way I could find it any funnier is if they used the words poo-poo and pee-pee in the subject line. It's an announcement about the 3rd Annual American Pole Fitness Championships taking place on October 12 "at the prominent Grand Ballroom Theater of the Manhattan Center." ROAD TRIP Y'ALL.

A few of my favorite excerpts below, emphasis mine.

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Friday, September 14, 2012

The most existentially confounding piece of graffiti of our times

Saw this piece of poetry on a electrical box on the road between JFK/UMASS and the Globe today and I was like, "I know right? You don't have to tell me buddy." But then when I saw it again on my walk back the other way, I was like "Wait, what about them specifically?"

I don't know. I honestly have no idea what this street poet was trying to express here. A couple friends online shared my perplexity, and some had suggestions:

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Topless Photos of Kate Middleton Nude Published

Good news for crown fetishists and middle-aged guys who vacation at Disney World alone, because topless photos have emerged of the Duchess Catherine of Cambridge, which is coincidentally how I refer to my own anatomy, while on vacation in France. The photos were published by French gossip magazine Closer, who tittered in captions like ““People always say she doesn’t need to dress up to look good. Well… Kate is proving this.”... read the rest at Bullett.

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Prefix Mag, Amanda Palmer, and why your music and writing has no value

The two biggest music media controversies of the week come from the outrage over Amanda Palmer's asking for musicians to contribute to her tour for free (particularly egregious, critics say, after having such a successful Kickstarter campaign), and Prefix magazine's payment scale coming to light, an insult to the pure-hearted souls who labor daily over a hot mp3 stove to bring you people fresh content.

How dare people like these ask for free labor? Think of the children!

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Slangin: How to Talk Like a Contemporary Idiot

The Visceralist is a blogger from New York City, which means he's got his ear to the ground for the dumb word soup people make with their yelling holes. He breaks down some of the things you need to be saying these days in order to fit in with people you probably don't want to talk to in the first place.

Ever feel like your friends are done with you because they've started making inside jokes that you don't really get? It was all good just a week ago, everyone was clownin' on Jeff's triflin' ass. Suddenly though, you're asking "Wait, what...?" a little bit more often than everyone else, and your bombs just ain't landing like they used to. It's all good though, you just ain't quite up on that new shit like you used to be back in your 20's. It happens to all of us. The Visceralist is here to put you up on that new slang shit right quick like right here, right now.

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Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Everything is the worst: Saddest videos ever + Amanda Palmer breaks music again somehow

I imagine it might be kind of annoying for most of the posts here lately to just be blurbs to things I did elsewhere, but shoot, I am basically EFFING KILLING it at Bullett this week, so kind of want to share. I'M REALLY GOOD AT BLOGGING.

Family Band’s New Video is the Most Romantic Zombie Love Story Ever

If you haven't yet, go watch this video for Family Band's "Moonbeams." It is the saddest, prettiest video and song I have seen in a long time, and if it doesn't make you cry and want to hug the one you love then you have no soul.

Have you ever been staring at the face of the person you love —really staring, drinking it in, waves of wonder and joy and lust and friendship washing over you—and thought to yourself, “Oh weird, there’s a skeleton under that person’s face meat”? You probably will next time. “Welp, I guess I’m in love with a skeleton now,” you say. “Let me just press my head bones into hers.”...read the rest.

Heartbreaking Documentary About Model Scouts in Siberia Is Really, Really Sad

Oh wait, never mind, this is the saddest thing ever. “I find the girl when she’s the most raw. Talent. Fresh beauty untainted by the world,” explains model scout Ashley Arbaugh, herself a former model, in this excerpt from the Girl Model documentary by Ashley Sabin and David Redmon. And then I taint the fuck out of them, she said. Implied, I mean. “Really, a model after 18, they’re finished. We’re looking for girls that are 13 and 14.”...read the rest.

Amanda Palmer Crowd-funds Touring Band, Is Rock Game Mitt Romney

Amanda Palmer, the avant-garde folk punk (or whatever), most recently famous for breaking open the Kickstarter model for crowd-funded musical projects when she raised $1.2 million dollars from fans to pay for the release of an album, has let her new found riches go to her head, transforming over night into a predatory capitalist with no respect for the rights of workers, and is probably using sweatshop child labor to stitch together the notes of her next song as we speak right now. ROCK GAME MITT ROMNEY...read the rest.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Never Forget: Chris Brown Immortalizes Rihanna’s Broken Face with Neck Tattoo

We’ve all done some horrible things in our lives. Perhaps nothing so egregious as, say, repeatedly battering the woman we supposedly love over and over again in her beautiful face, then remaining defiant and put upon for years to come after the world had the temerity to call us out on it, but, you know everyone is different.

The point is, most of us don’t go out and get a tattoo of our lowest moment on our neck, especially because people with neck tattoos have so many lowest moments to choose from that it makes the curatorial process overwhelming. The rich and powerful and creative are different than you and I, however. Like famed tough guy and perpetually confused back up dancer who accidentally wandered to the front of the stage of life Chris Brown for example....read the rest at Bullett.

The Guy Who Forgot 9/11 [update]

via

A couple years ago my buddy Zack was going to title a record for his band "The Guy Who Forgot 9/11" (h/t ) but he didn't end up using it. Too soon, I guess? Or maybe he was afraid of moving a billion records and being called a sell out? That's probably it.

I always loved that bit myself.

"Wait, that sounds familiar. What happened again? Couple planes? Both of them? No shit."

With the anniversary of the big day here, I wanted to share some of my favorite 9/11 related merchandise. You can consider this like my 9/11 gift registry. Because I'm getting married to 9/11. Gay married. 9/11 was a dude.

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Friday, September 7, 2012

Chuck Norris, Ronald Reagan's greatest speech, and how conservatives have been scared of the same made up shit for 50 years

Remember all those hilarious one liners about TV tough guy, and supernaturally be-gingered ghost grandpa, Chuck Norris? "Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits," for example. How we laughed at those! I remember that one actor's deft karate pantomimes from my childhood, we'd say.

We had him pegged with the wrong superlative it turns out. It should've been something more like Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he drools in the corner wondering why the grandkids never call.

"Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't had the courage to tell him yet." More like, well, ok, that one still reads.

"When he goes to bed every night the Boogeyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris."

 You sure about that one? The central premise of the conceit, that Chuck Norris isn't scared of anything is precisely the opposite of the truth we see from videos like this one above. Like most elderly people and Republicans, Chuck Norris is scared of every fucking thing.

Probably tops on that list is his Stepford Wife Gena, who is quoted here from what I'm assuming are the awkward first take cuts from a forthcoming, much-less-embarrassing political video....Read the rest at Vice.

What it's like to go to Dragon*Con

Abby Taylor went to Dragon*Con and learned some valuable lessons about . She tells us about it below. Her last piece for PTSOTL was Unfortunately, pedo-wave songs are kind of awesome, which I just realized the other day we totally forgot to add "Do Me" by Bell Biv Devoe to. More from her here.

This past weekend I was invited to help Boston area band Freezepop sell merch and tour manage a show at Dragon*Con in Atlanta, GA. A little about Dragon*Con: it is one of the oldest Sci Fi/Fantasy conventions in existence, starting in 1987 with roughly 1400 people in attendance. This year it had over 46,000 people in attendance. Freezepop, being very popular with the type of individual interested in this genre [editors note: NERDS!!!WoOOO], played in front of a crowd of over 2000. We also sold out of all our cds and most of our t-shirts and we met a bunch of really awesome people.

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Lists For No Reason: The Ten Most Skippable Smiths Songs

I listened to the entire The Smiths catalog this morning, because that's a reasonable way for a grown man to spend his time instead of working. After a while I noticed a pattern; there were certain songs that I ended up skipping over in my infinite loop through the band’s nearly immaculate catalog. Wait a minute: are there bad Smiths songs? Sacrilege, right? But it’s true, which, on the plus side for big fans, should give you something to feel bummed about for a few hours.

With that in mind, I’ve compiled this list of the ten most skippable Smiths songs. Why? It’s a list for no reason, and lists for no reason are content.

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Thursday, September 6, 2012

Booze 101: Intro to imbibing for the recently legal

You would think that out of all the things that they fail at otherwise, that college kids would at least get the drinking thing done right. I take the little ones by the hand with some pro advice in the Phoenix today, including tips from a bunch of bartenders on how to not be such a child.

Welcome back to Boston, college students! As a certified old person, I'd like to be one of the many people who will remind you this school year, and for many years to come, that you have no fucking idea what you're doing. That said, there are only two things in the world I'm close to an expert on: music — God knows there's no helping you kids with that — and drinking. So today, let's focus on the latter. Lesson one: you're doing it wrong. Many of you turned 21 over the summer or will soon, and you'll want to learn to drink like an actual adult, not a hormonal rage troll who mistakes the city streets and the B Line for a beer- and come-crusted frat-house futon. Here's how. Read the rest at the Phoenix

How to drink like an adult

Alcohol is a lot more than a tool for pissing the bed and tricking girls into giving you a squeezer, though. So guess what? It’s time you grew up and started drinking like adults — by which I mean sad and alone, but also with a more sophisticated palate.

Stop drinking like a bro, bro. How to taste tequila

People are supposed to know better when it comes to drinking now, otherwise I've been wasting the past few years of my life shoveling shit into the wordy-void. I'm a special little snowflake whose mom and dad are moderately proud of him, so that's just not possible.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Most Hilariously Racist College Survey of the Week

This is a survey from an Intro to Biology class at Boston University (I think). "If that picture doesn't get me on Yo Is This Racist? then nothing will," my friend who sent it over said. "It was just an intro survey to a class, I think for a large lecture, so the teacher could find out about individual students without wasting a ton of class time."

I love this. I love this so much.

Please describe your race/ethnicity:

D. White: Not Hispanic or Latino.

WRONG. YOU CHOSE WRONG. FUCK YOU. 0 POINTS.

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Mitt Romney Isn’t a KKK Sympathizer, Race Problem Solved!

Never mind you guys! False alarm. What Romney actually said was “Keep America America,” not "Keep America American. That’s much better, I guess? That’s investing the import of a pretty big alibi on that missing “n” isn’t it? It wasn’t the “n” that was doing the heavy lifting of the throwback code language for an imagined heyday of lilly-white American exceptionalism and “family values” there anyway; the other 18 letters in the phrase managed the job just fine on their own.... Read the rest at Bullett.

Federal judge rules taxpayers will fund inmate's sex change

You know how when you want to parody paranoid conservative psychotics (aka regular-ass conservatives), you adopt this tone that's like "And then HUSSEN OBAMA is coming to steal our guns so he can coddle murderers and steal old people's medicine money to institute mandatory sex change operations?" and it's funny because, hahaha, that's the type of outlandish fantasy world shit these losers think is actually going to happen. Uh, hold on a minute because maybe they have a point this time.

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Is Body Dysmorphic Disorder by Proxy the Fakest Sounding Disease Ever or What?

Kind of confused by this advertisement on the train in Boston (spotted by @mishkafrances on instergerm). Is this the fakest-ass made up sounding disease you’ve ever heard of, or is it literally the most pervasive, all-encompassing shared condition of humanity that we are all afflicted by on a daily basis? I’ve certainly ~~suffered from~~ heard of regular body dysmorphic disorder, that’s science. But hating someone’s stupid, punchable face and dipshit pants is an actual medical condition now? What’s the treatment for that exactly, poking out your eyes? I went to the URL on the ad to find out more and to see if I’m suffering form the grave condition myself....Read the rest at Bullett.

Monday, September 3, 2012

PTSOTL cross-posted on Jezebel

via Jezebel

Hey this is cool, our friend Karyn Polewacyk's piece from the other day on here Apathy is an aphrodisiac. Why do dudes always hit on me when I'm dressed down? was cross-posted at Jezebel today. 'Proud of u' Karyn. Naturally there's been a nice influx of new readers to the site today because of it, so at the risk of man-splaining my own blog, here are a few recent other posts you might appreciate/'get mad' at if you're a Jezebel reader.

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Saturday, September 1, 2012

A Quick Guide to Allston Christmas

via BostonInno

Allston Christmas is here, a fact that you'll no doubt have heard from everyone who just learned about that term this year and is because it makes them sound privy to an in-joke.

It's that most magical of days in the city of Boston where tens of thousands of students arrive to clog up the streets with their dad's van, moving trucks get caught on the over pass on Storrow Drive, and, most importantly where everyone turns into dumpster diving freegans, aka dirty fucking bums.

It's also the day where all the basic laws of physics go out the window. Our concept of space and mass are warped by exhaustion and blind rage at having to hang out with micro-managing parents or deadbeat roommates taking too many breaks all day, and many, many square pegs are forced into round holes, and I'm not just talking about new apartment floor sex later in the night. The rules of economics and supply and demand are similarly warped as well, but on the plus side, it's nice to see real data on how much the people you know actually value your physical labor.

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The content itself is execrable enough, but I have to say the most alarming part for me here is the author bio. "Gaby Dunn is an editor at Thought Catalog and a columnist for the New York Times Magazine."

A few excerpts:

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

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Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Friday, September 7, 2012

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

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Monday, September 3, 2012

Saturday, September 1, 2012

The Ethical Scumbag

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