Yes, yes, I know I'm a child, but this is the most inadvertently hilarious press release of the week. The only way I could find it any funnier is if they used the words poo-poo and pee-pee in the subject line. It's an announcement about the 3rd Annual American Pole Fitness Championships taking place on October 12 "at the prominent Grand Ballroom Theater of the Manhattan Center." ROAD TRIP Y'ALL.
A few of my favorite excerpts below, emphasis mine.
Expect jaw dropping, gravity defying, physically tasking performances from the nation’s best. Men & women will compete for the coveted American Pole Fitness Champion™ title in their respective genders.
Come on, this has to be tongue in cheek, right?
As part of APFA’s ongoing effort to help educate the nation and beyond about the art of pole fitness, the winners will lead workshops after the event to teach you some of their trademarked pole moves.This is a chance for pole enthusiasts to learn from the best in pole fitness.
Pole enthusiasts. LOL. I'm sorry. That's the extent of the entire joke of this blog post by the way, so if you're not chuckling you can probably just go ahead and skip the rest.
Almost 60 athletes competed for a chance to win the title of American Pole Fitness Champion on Friday, October 12, 2012. However, only a few made the cut to advance to the Masters Division, consisting of 5 men and 8 women who will compete for the ultimate prize. The finalists were selected by the five Elite Division Judges, all of whom are US based, esteemed individuals in pole sport.
I'm told that making the cut at an early age is a crucial part of pole fitness -- prevents infections and what have you. And competing for "the ultimate prize?" Who wrote this thing, the guy from Brazzers.com?
I hear you dude. I'm usually thrilled when anyone accommodates what I do with a pole myself."I am so thrilled to bring back the championships to the Manhattan Center for the 3rd consecutive year. The center and their staff always go above and beyond to make us feel at home and welcomed. The center was the first to really accommodate what we do as a sport in the city and helped us to roll out the event in a very big way since its inception in 2010. We have all managed to make this unique gymnastic event into the "Oscars" of its genre in sports."- Tin Yem, American Pole Fitness Association Founder and Artistic Director
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2 comments:
You said it all, buddy. Fucking Master's Division!
haha, missed that part
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