The Visceralist is a blogger from New York City, which means he's got his ear to the ground for the dumb word soup people make with their yelling holes. He breaks down some of the things you need to be saying these days in order to fit in with people you probably don't want to talk to in the first place.
Ever feel like your friends are done with you because they've started making inside jokes that you don't really get? It was all good just a week ago, everyone was clownin' on Jeff's triflin' ass. Suddenly though, you're asking "Wait, what...?" a little bit more often than everyone else, and your bombs just ain't landing like they used to. It's all good though, you just ain't quite up on that new shit like you used to be back in your 20's. It happens to all of us. The Visceralist is here to put you up on that new slang shit right quick like right here, right now.
Cysing: Primarily used as a verb to describe when one is dubiously excited or innervated by a person/place/thing that wouldn't or shouldn't generally warrant such excitement. Example: "Remember when everyone was cysing mo farah?"
Derivation: dmv slang courtesy of the hot fiyastarters
Ending a tweet with a ?: Used to express comical confusion by use in conjunction with an otherwise normal statement.
Example: "Seems like Michelle Obama's doing pretty well these days?"
Derivation: probably
*Dead*: An expression of particularly poignant surprise. Expressed in print with tag-team asterisks. Expressed IRL by raising both hands just above your shoulders and leaning back. Example: "*Dead* at this Tom Cruise bride-shopping article in the new Vanity Fair" Derivation: comments section on any nahright.com post
World Star Hip Hop!: Used when doing hoodrat shit with your friends that's being recorded with the express purpose of later being uploaded to Worldstarhiphop.com.
*Dead*: An expression of particularly poignant surprise. Expressed in print with tag-team asterisks. Expressed IRL by raising both hands just above your shoulders and leaning back. Example: "*Dead* at this Tom Cruise bride-shopping article in the new Vanity Fair" Derivation: comments section on any nahright.com post
World Star Hip Hop!: Used when doing hoodrat shit with your friends that's being recorded with the express purpose of later being uploaded to Worldstarhiphop.com.
Example "World star hip hop! Oh shit!" derivation: Worldstarhiphop.com
There it is Elizabeth: Voiced vociferously after your team does something particularly admirable in a good game.
Example: "There it is Elizabeth.There it is."
Derivation: Regional Ohio
It is what it is: A useless, contemptible, meaningless expression that bolos use to gracelessly exit a conversation that's become too difficult (wah!).
Example: "Hey, it is what it is..."
Derivation:Prolly Santorum or one of them.
Bolo: Not quite a hipster, and not quite a bro, and not quite a jackass, but like a frothy mix of all three.
Example: "What's with all the bolos up in here tonight?"
Derivation: my manager when I worked at CVS called me this once
Hellafied: Like extra ill, like you don't even know what to do with that shit.
Hellafied: Like extra ill, like you don't even know what to do with that shit.
Example: "Goddamn, but them Ravens had that hellafied defense, now didn't they?" Derivation: From all the way back in "Dr. Dre and Snoop's "Nuthin' but a 'G' Thang" when they said "Fallin' back on that ass with a hellafied gangsta lean'" then someone sprayed that one chick with 40's. It still has surprising staying power.
Bootymeat: Used when your description of one's ass isn't sufficiently prurient.
Bootymeat: Used when your description of one's ass isn't sufficiently prurient.
Example: "What was that one song Radiohead put out right after their post-OK Computer hiatus? Oh, yeah...'bootymeat.'"
Derivation: "Optimistic" aka "Bootymeat"
Ratchet time: When all other methods of resolving an argument about whether or not you're on the list have run their course, and you have a gun.
Example: "Wait, so what happened towards the end of The Godfather, in the scene right before Michael told Connie's husband that he had just settled all family business?" "Oh...it was ratchet time."
Derivation: Wherever they came up with those other gun synonyms like "the ooh wop", "the jammie", "the biscuit" & "the whistle."
You will always be forgotten: A general, middling diss when used on it's own, but a synergistic catalyst when used in conjunction with other, sarcastically dismissive epithets. Example: "Shouts out to Harold camping. Congratulations bitch, you will always be forgotten."
Derivation: An upcoming SNL sketch (insider shit!)
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3 comments:
bolo and ratchetime are winners.
I just used salsa on my spaghetti instead of pasta sauce.
probably eat spaghetti with a spoon
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