Remember all those hilarious one liners about TV tough guy, and supernaturally be-gingered ghost grandpa, Chuck Norris? "Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits," for example. How we laughed at those! I remember that one actor's deft karate pantomimes from my childhood, we'd say.
We had him pegged with the wrong superlative it turns out. It should've been something more like Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he drools in the corner wondering why the grandkids never call.
"Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't had the courage to tell him yet." More like, well, ok, that one still reads.
"When he goes to bed every night the Boogeyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris."
You sure about that one? The central premise of the conceit, that Chuck Norris isn't scared of anything is precisely the opposite of the truth we see from videos like this one above. Like most elderly people and Republicans, Chuck Norris is scared of every fucking thing.
Probably tops on that list is his Stepford Wife Gena, who is quoted here from what I'm assuming are the awkward first take cuts from a forthcoming, much-less-embarrassing political video....Read the rest at Vice.
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