You would think that out of all the things that they fail at otherwise, that college kids would at least get the drinking thing done right. I take the little ones by the hand with some pro advice in the Phoenix today, including tips from a bunch of bartenders on how to not be such a child.
Welcome back to Boston, college students! As a certified old person, I'd like to be one of the many people who will remind you this school year, and for many years to come, that you have no fucking idea what you're doing. That said, there are only two things in the world I'm close to an expert on: music — God knows there's no helping you kids with that — and drinking. So today, let's focus on the latter. Lesson one: you're doing it wrong. Many of you turned 21 over the summer or will soon, and you'll want to learn to drink like an actual adult, not a hormonal rage troll who mistakes the city streets and the B Line for a beer- and come-crusted frat-house futon. Here's how. Read the rest at the Phoenix
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How to drink like an adult
Alcohol is a lot more than a tool for pissing the bed and tricking girls into giving you a squeezer, though. So guess what? It’s time you grew up and started drinking like adults — by which I mean sad and alone, but also with a more sophisticated palate.
People are supposed to know better when it comes to drinking now, otherwise I've been wasting the past few years of my life shoveling shit into the wordy-void. I'm a special little snowflake whose mom and dad are moderately proud of him, so that's just not possible.
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