As we learned in that last post about America's most hipster neighborhoods, food trucks are for hipsters, as are restaurants and consuming food produced in all manner of different structures. Sometime that food is carried back to apartments, where hipsters often live, and have even been known for propping up that one sad little potted fern in the corner that they all seem to have.
But what about going next level, and skipping all the way back to the source and hanging out where these plants and vegetables are actually grown? It's the next trend sweeping the nation, and greenhouses are becoming a "thing" for young people from Crown Heights to Pasadena to Akron, whose hipsters are dressing up in comically over-sized overalls and rubbing fertilizer and dirt all over their stupid faces. PTSOTL partnered with Google to compile this list of America's Top 10 Hipster Greenhouses.
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Looks at this #basedgreenhouse. So washed out looking, and so hip it doesn't even grow shit.
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This hipster greenhouse sign, spotted outside an Amish bakery/greenhouse displays its hipster bonafides by namedropping the OG hipster, God. "I was into you before you were born" - God.
This greenhouse in Seattle was the place where Kurt Cobain shot himself in the fucking face, probably in a really sick striped sweater. It doesn't get much more hipster than that, and it's naturally become a tourist attraction for #greensters, as they call themselves on their Twitter message board pages and Tumblr-blogs, who flock to it for decorating tips to bring back to their own makeshit greenhouse/suicide chambers.
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In certain areas, like at this greenhouse in Humboldt County, CA, hipsters like these ones above are staging "ironic drug busts" where one side dresses up as "narc pigs" and the other as "people in jail for a long ass time." Some hipsters have even gone so far as to actually serve out the comical jail sentences for added veracity.
As in most things hipster, the smaller the better. This locally-owned greenhouse gets crowded on weekends, where there's a line out the door waiting to take up one of the four places to stand inside.
"One of the best parts about greenhousing," says one member of the movement, who asked to remain anonymous, "is that it is an excuse for me to get in touch with real working people throughout the world who pick, like, leaves and shit off of, uh, the thingees." Many of her peers have been dressing in the traditional garb of many agricultural peoples in order to "get closer to, plants, and what-have-you," she said.
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In hipster hotbeds like Brooklyn, space is at a premium, so the greenhousers, or "Gang Green" as they are often called, just fucking grow trees on top of buildings and shit I can't really keep up this premise for much longer what do you want from me here.
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5 comments:
I can't wait until society collapses and we revert to being hunter-gatherers. The strongest man-bros will literally have travelling harems while weakling men wither away. I WILL start smashing skulls in to take nubile daughters with me. Reckon we'll be going Cro-Mag within about seven years.
haha calm down there Conan.
I said all this to my girlfriend once and had to quickly pretend I was joking after I saw the horror on her face.
I will say that the best produce I've bought at a farmer's market came from the rankest smelling hipster organic farmer. Sure, I may have been subject to having his mutant B.O. latch onto me like a parasite as I made my purchases, but his potatoes were delicious.
Definite member of Top 10 Bearded B.O. urban farmer.
I don't want to eat vegetables anymore after that.
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