OK, so I guess this is what I do now here, complain about things people are sharing on Facebook too much. My Facebook friend Phil shared this just now, and while I agree with the sentiment in theory, only because so many bands bitch about how "no one supports the scene, maaan," then peace the fuck out as soon as their set is over, often times unloading right in the grills of the next band up, I'm not sure I can endorse this particular strain of whinging wholeheartedly.

Here's an idea to consider: if you've got such a shitty draw that the audience gets noticeably smaller when the 4-8 other dudes in the other bands leave the room, then maybe you should rethink that whole 'being in a band' thing, because it seems like no one wants to see you.

My interview with Alina Devecerski went up at Vice today.

Sexy music videos bum me out

I was watching this video by Sasha something or other, and instead of giving me a giant boner in my penis area it just bummed me out. Bikini babes make me sad. I wrote about it here at Noisey in this piece There's Nothing Sexy About A Sexy Music Video.

Imagine actually seeing a girl pretend to give a water hose a blow job in real life. The only way that could be more pathetic is if the hose was a fake lesbian and they were both in on it to give broz in the club "mad bonerz." Or, like, if it was your dog standing outside the door after you yelled at him for peeing on the rug, except the rug was his tits, and the pee was an exploding bottle of champagne....more

Cher is collaborating with Gaga, insane

In news that you’ve probably already seen a dozen breathless posts about on your Facebook wall unless you’re a Republican, Cher and Lady Gaga’s long delayed collaboration is set to drop in October. At least that’s what I make of these tweets from the iconic diva, whose dedication to replicating . ...more


The MTV Music Award nominations are out, dumb

Here’s a list of the major categories, including Best Video with a Message, which is probably a call back to the heyday of the ’90s when every other video was Aerosmith teaching important life lessons to teenagers I suppose, and Best Electronic Dance Video, a new category this year, because: Skrillex....more



Cuba Gooding Jr. is in trouble with the law. 

Apparently determined to answer once and for all whether or not he couldn’t, in fact, “get arrested in this town,”—pause for polite laughter—one time A-list actor Cuba Gooding Jr. is in hot water for allegedly shoving a female bartender early this morning in L.A., and a warrant has been issued for his arrest. Unfortunately for the Oscar winner, that’s New Orleans, LA. *adjusts neck tie, stares vacantly into the camera for a second too long* ...more

Oh word? Thanks for the heads up. I wasn't exactly clear on how the human body works. Feel like if this prescription bottle knew me just a little bit better it would've changed that "may" to a "will" and "weeks to months" to "today and probably like every other day for the rest of your life."

Look, I'm as anti-authoritarian as the next middle-aged white guy from the suburbs, so I can sort of understand the impulse behind sharing this super-viral photo story about an old Italian guy from New Jersey whose imprisoned son tricked the feds into digging up his garden for him, but on the other hand, I'm not an easily duped rube, so I'm kind of at an impasse here. liked this, and it has . That's a lot of boring fucking people out there, which probably shouldn't come as news, and yet it still stings afresh every time I'm reminded. 

Setting aside the fact that it's obviously fake, what's really going on in this story is that a criminal Italian guy from New Jersey tricked the government into wasting tax payer resources on helping an old bastard plant tomatoes. That's like douche bingo right there. LOL, bravo horrible guy who we'd all probably despise if we met him in real life. You did a good prank right there. What's that imaginary guy in imaginary jail for anyway? Probably nothing serious, right?

There are four reliable locks in the world of comedy that are always funny: fat people, red necks, drunk children, and the slow creeping realization that we’re spiraling, shitter-like, into the abyss of nothingness. You’ll find ample evidence of all four in the new TLC series, Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. 

Watch the trailer and read the rest at Bullett.

Yesterday in Sydney, Australia, human Uncanny Valley explanation Lana Del Rey took to the stage to lend her patented brand of smokey insouciance to Nirvana’s iconic, “Heart Shaped Box.” I’d say Kurt Cobain’s skeleton would be spinning in its grave right now if that thing hadn’t already been rotating longer than a janky hunk of lamb kebab in a sketchy Queens diner for years now. (See Courtney Love: everything). All things considered, her version wasn’t all that bad, especially when stacked up against these atrocities. 

Go watch the rest at Bullett. 

RELATED: Hey remember when we figured out the real reason Kurt Cobain killed himself?

 

I got a tooth pulled out today, and just in time, because it had only been bothering me for about three years. A few years back I had two shitty teeth, and both of them were murdering me on a daily basis like eating a piece of boiling tin foil lava over and over again forever. Except the lava is also freezing cold.

Not having dental insurance, or a limousine driver in a top hat, I could only afford to get a root canal on one of them, which, even going to BU Dental School to have it done still cost me about $2k, not to mention hours and hours in a chair of my precious time, so like $2k and, like, fifteen dollars counting man hours. No fucking way I'm doing that again I thought about the second tooth. Being what is known as "a dude" I figured, eh, the other one will just sort itself out. It did, for the most part, only ruining my life in spurts for weeks at a time before going away again, like bones herpes you might say. That was up until the past couple weeks, when it finally shit the bed. Shit my mouth, rather.

This is the most Boston-y event I've ever heard about, and I've seen a guy in a Bruins jersey puke onto his own fist trying to punch his cousin outside Kelly's Roast Beef. Who wrote this press release, Dennis Lehane? 

FOXBOROUGH, Mass. - The New England Revolution, in association with by Warrior Boxing and DiBella Entertainment, will present a unique double-header on Sunday, August 12, featuring Gillette Stadium's first-ever boxing match.

Following the Revolution's 7 p.m. game against the Montreal Impact, Framingham, Mass. native "Irish" Danny O'Connor will headline a live professional boxing card at the stadium. The boxing event will commence after the final whistle of the Revolution match at approximately 9 p.m.

Ok, just try to overlook the part where's it after a fruity soccer game.  Just kidding about that part if the 17-1 O'Connor is reading this, because apparently he's a big Revs fan. 

You'll never guess who his manager is either. It's Mayor Menino in a baked bean costume. OK, just kidding, it's actuually Ken Casey from the Dropkick Murphys, but close enough. It gets better though:

As I'm sure you're aware if you've read, say... anything I've ever written, I've never been much of a death to false metal guy. The exact opposite in fact. Death to authentic metal, because that shit is awful. The same, as we talked about recently in this post Lil' Debbie and the hip hop authenticity problem, is true of my approach to hip hop. The less real the better, because nothing is real, so let's at least have fun. Patrick Kay, on the other hand, has what you might call good taste. I wouldn't call it that, but you would. He wrote about for us a while back, and today he talked to actual New York hip hop guy Necro, who has a new album or whatever. 
 

OK EVERYONE SHUT UP RIGHT NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP BECAUSE THIS IS THE BEST SONG OF THE SUMMER AND YOU HAVE TO GO LISTEN TO IT RIGHT NOW OR THINGS ARE OVER BETWEEN US.

I'm about to interview Alina later today, provided I can figure out what time 22:00 in Sweden is, but I couldn't wait any more to share this video with you good people. While it's a hit in Scandanavia, I don't think it's been written about anywhere yet in the States. WTF is wrong with everyone? This is on some Marotta-wave shit. "Icona Pop Pop" as he called it. I want to dance to it until I'm dead. Or at least until like two weeks from now when I lose my shit over something else.

You know what they say about celebrity deaths and sex tapes: they make everyone stupid on the internet. Also they come in threes. Also coming in threes is some guy into Carly Rae Jepsen's piehole in this video, and if you don't think that's funny or makes sense, it's all good because there's a really low threshold for blow job humor on Twitter today. .

Here's how the joke set up works. You take that one song that we all know by Jepsen, and you change the lyrics to something to do with a blow job. Or, for a next level move, you imply that this video is the culmination of the song's story. He called her and then they got together for a shitty home shot BJ vid. Then you watch a million other people make the same joke. Next step is wait to get famous when the comedy police pluck you from obscurity. Good luck! . I bet it's totally real.

Billy Brown recently drove cross country from Boston to LA. He tooks some photos and wrote a tour diary for us. That was nice.

As a grown man with no car, driver's license or self control with alcohol, I'm probably the worst possible person to organize a cross country road trip. But I've never been one to let poor planing dictate my life (see previous sentence), so I recently took it upon myself to pack up everything I own and convince (emphasis on con) my friend Crystal that she and I should quit life as we knew it and move out West.

For the most part I loved life in Boston. It'd been my home since the mid 1990s. But due to certain circumstances over the past two years I found myself not only desiring to move, but actually being in a position where it made sense to. I contemplated potential destinations and settled on Los Angeles. I figured if I was going to move somewhere different, it should be, well, different. Also it didn't hurt that everyone loves to trash LA. I enjoy that sort of thing. 

Justin Glawe is a reporter in Illinois. He shares his thoughts on the important lesson of the shooting in Denver. 

By now we've all heard about the tragic events in Aurora, Colorado early Friday morning. And as the day draws to a close, those on both sides of aisle will start making their arguments for, or against, gun control.

Here's the positions that people will take in the aftermath of this event.

-- If there were less prohibitive concealed carry laws in Colorado, someone with a gun would have bravely stood up, managed to calm themselves enough to shoot, and take down, a man who was wearing body armor from HEAD TO FUCKING TOE and carrying multiple, military grade weapons, which I'm sure he wouldn't use to fire back at this brave Samaritan.

I went to Warped Tour the other day. That's weird. "The format of the annual Vans Warped Tour presented show-goers with a particularly contemporary crush of overabundance. With some 80 musical acts to choose from on seven stages throughout the grounds, the sheer magnitude and scope were staggering -- you literally needed a map and a schedule to synchronize your day’s revelry here," I write in my review in the Globe today. Read the rest over there. 

The cumulative effect was like being airdropped into a teenager's Tumblr page come to heaving corporeality, an infinitely scrolling jumble of aesthetically distilled consumerism, hyper-active sensory overload, and fleeting declarations of infatuation.

Meanwhile, here's a bunch of pictures I took. Wait, is it wrong to take pictures of kids if it's not for perv reasons, but only so you can make fun of their taste in music and their pants on the internet?

My man Nolan has a fine blog where he posts lengthy interviews with musicians, such as this one below with Spiritualized's Jason Pierce.

Spiritualized records have a history of being some of the most intricate, complex and laborious undertakings in modern rock music. Conceived from the often medicated mind of Jason Pierce and translated to tape, Spiritualized’s musical journey has explored everything from psychedelic freakouts and overwhelming orchestral offerings, to gospel soul and epic etherealism. Exploring the sonic peaks and valleys of drug use complete with agnostic, religious allusions that seem to cry out for redemption, the band’s anxious buildups and triumphant crescendos sounds like symphonies for substance sympathizers.

Guns did this, make no mistake. A deranged killer was just using them for what they're intended to do: murder as many people as possible as quickly and as efficiently as possible.

Twelve people were killed and at least 50 others wounded early Friday when a gunman wearing a bullet-proof vest opened fire during a midnight screening of the latest Batman movie near Denver, authorities and witnesses said.

A three-month-old child and a six-year-old girl were among those treated, according to reports.

Authorities said the gunman had appeared at the front of the theater during the film and released a canister of tear gas. Witnesses told reporters that the gunfire erupted during a shootout scene in "The Dark Knight Rises".

Jake Zavracky is a musician living in Park Slope. He explains what it's like to live amongst the baby strollers and power moms.  (Check out previous entries on what it's like to live in Colombia, Canada, Qatar, New Jersey, and Illinois, and suburban Mass). More from Jake on this site here. Go check out his music here.

The Park slope neighborhood of Brooklyn is a strange place for a bartender/unsuccessful composer to live, in that it's usually cost prohibitive, and the sidewalks are littered with babies and small children, who I don't get along with very well. I mostly disagree with their decision making. Plus they don't drink so they're of no use to me. You can probably infer from that statement that I don't have any children of my own, which is true and very unusual in my particular section of Park Slope; that is 8th Avenue and 5th St. I live in the heart of Park Slope. 

Breaking news, some asshole doesn't know what he's talking about on the internet. Big story, right? But since the bartending world and the service industry are near and dear to me and many of my friends and colleagues, let's take a closer look at the stupidest article published this week on the internet, not an easy feat by any stretch. Some highlights, which I've Huffington Posted below: 

I remember when Kreayshawn first came out (holy shit almost two years ago since we broke the Kreayshawn news here), I used to think: I could watch this girl do anything. And guess what, that faith is being put to the test in this video Kreayshawn in Europe. Here's a list of things I've just watched her do:

What did I say the other day? Every week we get more and more evidence that we live inside of a really slowly plotted horror novel, where the monsters reveal themselves in stages over years and years, all leading up to a horrific climax where every single person you know gets eaten alive by a disgusting creature from the depths of hell. What type of monster, for example? How about something called a Chinese penis fish seen here in these videos (via Buzzfeed). Why didn't they call it a Japanese penis fish actually, because I've seen way more examples of this type of mutant rape tentacle beast coming out of that country. 

Welp, good luck ever eating fish, or penis, for that matter, again. We had a good run. I'll miss the blow jobs the most out of all of you guys. You were always good to me. 

Could be worse I suppose, it's not like it has a vagina attached to the other side of it's body like this guy. 

Archaeologist Beatrix Nutz, as today, has discovered a bra and panties set in an Austrian castle that she believes to be 600 years old. There are a lot of important scientific and sociological ramifications of this finding, namely that Eastern European chicks have always been hot. Come on, look at that string tie bikini style cut there? Just tell me the Medieval babe wearing those wasn't smoking up until she dies at 22 from old age.

 

Round up of this week's amazing pop culture jokes for Bullett.At the top of his game, Luke was, they'll say.

Sarah Silverman Has an Important Message for Republican Billionaires

When you’re a super-rich Republican billionaire, you have a lot of options for things you can buy that your average person could never dream of: a doomed deep space exploration to investigate the origins of humanity, for example, or a super fancy toilet. Most of them don’t think big picture like that though, because Republican billionaires aren’t—what’s the word—creative? Human. Human is what I meant. Instead, they spend most of their money trying to get people elected that will help them keep more of their money, like in the case of Las Vegas casino magnate Sheldon Adelson, who has said he’ll donate $100 million to Mitt Romney’s campaign to help defeat Barack Obama....more 

Get Schizophrenic with New Music from The Alchemist, How to Dress Well, and Laetita Sadler

Was there always this much music? I mean, I’ve been in the game a long time, and I can’t ever remember a period of such an incessant deluge of content splooshing forth bukkake-like unto the world’s faces like the one we’re in now. Who can keep up anymore?

That’s why we tirelessly troll through the internet jukebox for prime cuts and sides for you good people who are far too busy being productive members of society to pay enough attention. With that in mind, here are three new songs/joints/jams/trax that have absolutely nothing in common save their immediate existence that you’ll want to listen to today then probably forget about by tomorrow when the next group punches in for their shift on the buzz mill....more

Pat yourselves on the back, internet, because today we have proof that if we put our minds to it, we can make a change in the world, even if, or perhaps especially if, that change is for something extraordinarily stupid. Readers of The Big Hurt in the Boston Phoenix, or of Something Awful, home to David Thorpe, a gentle-man humorist who I like to think of as the nerdier younger brother I've never met, even though he's more famous on the internet than me, has succeeded in the culmination of his life's work: sending some douche to Alaska.

Hey get me I'm Barstool sports over here; minus the racism and rape culture or whatever. Just straight writing in the same exact cadence sentence after sentence no matter what the subject matter. Over and over again, forever.  Like, 'writing' posts about boobs and sports for the average Joe. Am I right or am I right? 

Big sports news tonight: Red Sox sideline reporter Jenny Dell, who'd I'd like to acquaint with the business end of my sexual organ if you get me there, just misspoke on the air, and her mouth typo contained a naughty word. That's not all her mouth should contain, right guys!? Facefuck.com? More like, I'd like to fuck her face and dot cum! LOL. Stay tuned for my next post, top ten places on Jenny Dell's body I want to prop my phallus up next to. Because she's a girl.

Shouts to my man the quick trigger finger and keen ear. Video below. More like video b-low jobs, which is a pleasurable experience for a man when he receives one from a woman, preferably one in a bikini!

Been a little distracted churning out bloggable content for Bullett these days to pay as much attention to you guys as I know you need. I don't want you to think that I don't love you, it's just that you people don't pay me for shit. Check out all the awesome jokes I've been using on my other internet girlfriend while you weren't looking. It's nothing person I promise. I know it won't make sense right now, but I'm still your friend (via Robyn). 

Zipper Z writes in with the scoop on the New Skerrit Bwoy track and his conversion to Christ. Her last piece for PTSOTL was Is Lana Del Rey pro-pedophilia?

Skerrit Bwoy, the former daggering icon of the world, and front man for Major Lazer, wants his songs to convert electronic music listeners into Christians. “I am creating an army of saints,” he told me. “Creating a crew you can take into heaven.” It's a big step from last fall when he told me he felt his hyper-sexual dance daggering, was creating a mass of of sexually deviant soldiers.

Imagine that we woke up in a world where monsters were real. Scary, right? Ok, but how would we know the difference between that and this natural hellscape we've got going on in the world already now? 

We've got alligators eating dudes' arms off, skittering hell beasts in your garden like this one in the picture above my friend took at his house, swarms of flying monstrosities slamming against your window all night trying to get in, literal fucking dinosaurs roaming our places of leisure waiting patiently for us to fall in, mutant half men taking to the streets and fighting with police, cannibals cooking the penises of witch doctors in their soup, and a Manchurian cyborg who'll soon be running the country.  And that's just in the last two days. Fuck us all. I can't do it anymore. I'm never leaving the house again. Just leave me behind, world. Go on without me. Leave behind a wi-fi signal and some peanut butter and I'm good. 

UPDATE: OH AND DON'T FORGET THESE GIANT BABY EATING ROACHES IN ITALY. 

Latest piece up at Vice Noisey today. It's 'funny' and I really 'gave it my all.' Go read it thanks.

We hear a lot about this mythical creature "the heartbreaker” in music, but what is a heartbreaker exactly? Scientists disagree on the precise terms, but scientists are usually pretty awful at playing guitar, so they don't know shit. Marina and the Diamonds' new single “How to be a Heartbreaker” from her Electra Heart album, due out this week, aims to break down the rules for us and settle the matter once and for all. Does it succeed?... Looking back throughout the history of songs about heartbreakers— or, more specifically, songs called “Heartbreaker”—helps up fill in the rest of this vague police sketch.

Read the rest a Noisey

I forget why this mattered to me so much on Twitter last night, but you could probably say that about anything on Twitter, so one idea is as good as the next, right? Oh right, I was drunk and grumpy at a show and trying to come up with a list of the hundreds of bands I've written about over the last year or so that I actually did so out of genuine excitement rather than professional obligation/cursory admiration/curatorial duty. It looked like this: 1) Kitty Pryde 2) Ringo Deathstarr 3) Noel Gallagher 4) Robyn 5) Yuck 6) uh...

But oh man, Noel Gallagher! His "If I Had a Gun", I said, was probably the best song in recent memory, and an instant top ten all time Oasis-related classic. Naturally, the next question was, ok, but what is it up against? With that in mind here are the top 17 or so Oasis songs ever. It's a list for no reason, and lists for no reason are content.

Dan Harmon, the erstwhile creative force behind the widely-beloved, but very-unwidely-watched NBC meta-sitcom Community, and Charlie Kaufman, the creator of a bunch of beloved meta-films like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and Being John Malkovich, are teaming up to work on a film project, which they hope to pay for through the crowdfunding site Kickstarter. Oh man, if internet nerds are 1/3 as good as they are paying for content as they are at not paying for content, I predict this thing is going to be a huge success. Wait, does making gifs count as currency yet?

But should it be a success? 

This video of Patriots owner Robert Kraft doing line readings with Ricki Lander, his roughly 75 years younger 'gal pal' as the Boston Herald is probably calling her, is making the rounds of the Boston and sports internets today, and for good reason: it's the most horrifying video in sports history. I'd rather watch a replay of Brady and Walker colliding midfield and smashing all four of their knees together in half than play this one again, so you'll have to forgive me if I don't have all the details correct here.

A couple highlights though: "I'm so embarrassed," Lander says. You don't say?

"Dancing in front of you was one of those most embarrassing moments of my life," says Kraft. Uh, you sure you don't want to revise that one there Bobby?

"Sweetheart, I don't know who this loser is," he goes on, and I kind of feel like that wasn't part of the script, just Kraft breaking character for a minute. Who're his acting coaches by the way, Bernie and Phyl?

For real though, the things we'll do for a piece of ass, am I right fellas? Billionaire owner of the greatest sports franchise in the world over here and even he has to pretend to be interested in his girlfriend's art projects. 

PS: That pan down the camera does over her body at the beginning? I've seen POV schoolgirl on the subway tentacle rape videos that made me feel less uncomfortable than that. Watch the video below. ()

 

Our trip around the world to the homes of PTSOTL readers continues this week with suburban Westwood, MA. (Check out previous entries on Canada, Qatar, New Jersey, and Illinois).  Jon Reagan grew up in Westwood, a suburb of Boston.  His childhood, he says,  "was the typical suburban life that goes unappreciated until adulthood when one realizes the safe blanket of suburbia has decayed after years of neglect and subtle wear and tear giving one's parents no other choice but to discard the remains and breath a sigh of relief." That sounds draining. Jon is the frontman of the industrial glam grunge band Mic Raygun.

You know what I love? Fried sea monster tongue beasts who live inside of water rocks. Fry 'em right up or eat 'em raw with a little horseradish or whatever. Then puke the whole mess back up onto my own tits after I remember having watched this video. (via)

Related: Oysters are a fraud. Mussels too.

 

Oh hi. I started using Instagram finally. I know everyone has seen millions of pictures of lunch and feet and people's feet at lunch and beach horizons, but have you ever seen them through my eyes? Didn't think so. Add me or whatever. Totally your call guys. No pressure. Oh man, but you can get gems like this one above from a pool party I went to at my buddy Alex's house the other night. Night swimming (via REM) innit?

Tons of photos of my stupid life and all the things I put in my body and people that I looked at below.

Justin Glawe lives in Peoria. . Remember that? That was nice. Now he's mad at the troops or hates America or something. I dunno, see what he says below. Also: folds of honor. Am I right fellas?

OK. I did my duty and kept my mouth shut earlier this week, so as not to disturb all those who were getting their Merica on, but it's time to get back to normal. I found, and stole, this poster from a North Peoria bar over the Memorial Day weekend.

Complaining about Facebook is like complaining about the weather on Facebook -- no one gives a shit and it's not going to help matters either way so why bother. But then again I have these three minutes to fill, and I've had a mezcal or two, so you can see my dilemma.

My Boston Phoenix colleague Chris Faraone, as for-realsy a hip hop writer as they come, was giving me and bloggers like me shit the other day for constantly throwing shine, as I think they say, at fake-ass "hip hop" on sites like this. "How would indie rock chumps like it if me and all my fellow hip-hop writers looked for the shittiest, least talented bands in order to endlessly and quasi-ironically applaud them for sub-mediocrity and inflate their artificial buzz bubble? No way they'd hate it as much as I hate neophyte critics who clearly didn't grow up on hip-hop but take pride in propping exploitative nu-rap garbage."

Holidays are for food comas, and for me to re-post holiday themed list entries every year until it gets old.Check out this post from last 4th of July about all the amazing American shit you should be buying this week unless you hate your country, pretty sure it all still applies.

It's kind of hard to capture in words the exact mix of solemn reverence and ass-kicking that goes into the 4th of July, so until I can get a picture up of my new tattoo of Ronald Reagan skateboarding over the Berlin Wall you'll have to take my word for it. It's kind of like an awesome blend of going out for drinks for some dude you kind of know's birthday, 9/11 and the time Luke Skywalker blew up the Death Star all rolled into one. Only with a lot more hot dogs on the grill.

I put these things together for you guys to read, out of love, but also out of a desire for money. Does getting paid for loving you make me some kind of prostitute? Then why does it feel so real?

Check out this interview I did for Interview Magazine with Boston's Earthquake Party! Interviewed 'em up right good, did I. 

We're fully immersed in the age of EDM: each beat and synth riff pushing through the club speakers has been sequenced with the utmost precision, and there's very little left to chance in the music of the moment. Even the most glitchy, lo-fi productions are artfully calculated as such. Fortunately, there have always been artists who lean more toward the chaotic side of things—bands who don't always have a plan for how to get to the end of the song they've just launched into (never mind to tomorrow's gig)....more

I wrote about Muse's new Olympics theme song "Survival" for Vice. 

California's controversial ban against the controversial delicacy foie gras goes into effect today, controversially, and it's stirring up all manner of controversy amongst the foodie set, a group renowned for their sense of proportion and understated comportment. The law was actually passed back in 2004, providing the industry a window during which to adapt to the coming changes, so naturally most chefs kept on serving it right up until yesterday, because how could they have seen it coming? It's been like watching a group of sloshed bros order one last round of shooters at 1:50 am before the bar closes, except the shooters in this case are French which is bro for gay so never mind this analogy sucks. 

"As the days counted down to the ban, restaurant owners said they saw an increase in sales from customers looking to enjoy their last legal taste," ABC news reported. (SPeaking of force-feeding, brb going to start a sketchy blow job porn site called 'Legal Taste.')

"'We have people asking for fois gras on their French fries, on their eggs on their sushi,' said Pedro Lorencillo, general manager at Chaya Brasserie in San Francisco." 

"This impending ban has got us practically forcing this shit down people's throats," no one said, but probably should have.