Imagine that we woke up in a world where monsters were real. Scary, right? Ok, but how would we know the difference between that and this natural hellscape we've got going on in the world already now?
We've got alligators eating dudes' arms off, skittering hell beasts in your garden like this one in the picture above my friend took at his house, swarms of flying monstrosities slamming against your window all night trying to get in, literal fucking dinosaurs roaming our places of leisure waiting patiently for us to fall in, mutant half men taking to the streets and fighting with police, cannibals cooking the penises of witch doctors in their soup, and a Manchurian cyborg who'll soon be running the country. And that's just in the last two days. Fuck us all. I can't do it anymore. I'm never leaving the house again. Just leave me behind, world. Go on without me. Leave behind a wi-fi signal and some peanut butter and I'm good.
UPDATE: OH AND DON'T FORGET THESE GIANT BABY EATING ROACHES IN ITALY.
UPDATE: OH AND DON'T FORGET THESE GIANT BABY EATING ROACHES IN ITALY.
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We found a Luciferfly the other day. A five inch long moth-like fly with fucking horns that can draw blood. Found out via Wiki that it's larvae are named Hellgramites. It came from hell and I sent it right back.
You are doing the Lord's work, son.
No picture though? Come on.
http://bogleech.com/nature/sitoid-mantidfly.jpg
these badboys all over my blackberries.
Is that a dick joke?
Next time there's a satan in my back yard, I'll be sure and grab the camera before striking it down. I was a little too terrified to think of pictures this time.
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