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| Not feeling it |
Sure, I was thinking about maybe spending 100 dollars to get into a bar I usually go to for free and fighting off crowds of people doing the party equivalent of pushing out a five pound turd. Just pushing, and pushing, and trying and trying. Making weird faces. Hoping it will end soon.
[SEE ALSO: NYE 101: Pro tips on ringing in the New Year right]
Maybe stand in line in zero degree weather waiting for one of the five puke-ferry cabs available for roughly a million people for a while. Probably do that. Then, let's see, I dunno, pretend to be best friends with whatever dozen people I'm standing next to when the big hand on the clock points at a magic number. Maybe blast someone in the face and ears with some sort of noise horn or siren or rattle, doesn't matter what it is as long as they are feeling the full force of my revelry vis a vis a 25 cent paper instrument. Next up I'll drink some flat bubbly piss water out of a plastic cup. Gonna have to set aside some time to field twenty or so group texts from everyone wishing me a happy new year! That should take a minute or two. Ok, so it's like 12:09 at this point? Let's hit another bar. We'll need to do the cab thing again, wintery purgatory style. Fall in a snow bank probably. Tend to one of my friends who got way too drunk. That should be a laugh. I always sort of wanted to be a triage nurse for a while. After that, who knows? Go sit in someone's apartment and die a slow death, minute by minute, listening to everyone pretend anything is gonna be different this time around. The usual stuff.
Or I could, you know, not do any of that. Because I am an adult man.
SEE ALSO:
Why hating New Year's means you actually hate yourself
New Year's Eve pre-game shaming ritual
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14 comments:
Well you might as well shut 'er down since that was the best literature this side of Bill Shakespeare
Thanks?
Perfect description of Raj's.
sneaky chaz
Ha! I forgot all about getting deafened by that gong that one new year's at your house. That was a fun night actually. I need to rethink this whole new year's thing.
Actually, some drunk kid talked to me for like twenty minutes that night as I recall. Better play it safe and stay home this year.
Nice old fella though.
The dog guy I mean.
Woh, wrong post.
What a great resurrection of "not feeling it"!
Haha, I can always count on you for a NFI reference.
Sounds like you need more gay friends.
Get more gay friends is your answer for everything.
How to talk to people about their tattoos
Still getting distracted by that picture I take it?
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