Sunday, December 30, 2012

Saving parking spots on the street (repost)




It just snowed here in Boston for the first time, and that means a couple things: I'm not leaving the house for three months, and people are going to start putting furniture along the side of the road to call "dibs" on "their" parking space.  Our man Spoth56 wrote this rant a while back on the List, but same rules still apply this year fuckos. See you guys in April.  -- Luke


Let's just be clear here: I am not a lawyer, but I am fairly sure that you do not, and indeed cannot, own the street, in front of your house, or anywhere. If you put a chair or a cone in the street in front of your house, it is garbage and I should have no qualms about picking it up and smashing it into little pieces, then freely parking my car in the space thereby vacated.

Of course I will not do this, because there is a good chance you are psychotic and/or an off-duty or retired police officer and will key my car, cut my brakes, or smash my window as retaliation. But under the law, I am in the right. YOU ARE IN THE WRONG. YOU DO NOT OWN THE STREET.


More insanity after the jump.  




via

I don't give a fuck if you are elderly and can't walk in the snow and ice. Save up enough money to buy a house with a fucking driveway. Petition your board of selectmen to make the space in front of your house handicapped parking. YOU DO NOT OWN THE STREET.


via
I could give two shits that you spent 15 minutes shoveling out this space. That does not make it your private property. YOU DO NOT OWN THE STREET. I shoveled a goddamn spot in front of my own house, left for two hours and graciously allowed someone else to park there, because I didn't replace my car with a fucking armoire because I understand that we are living in a society. I have the right to park in front of your house instead, regardless of whether you have cleverly tried to impede me with a folding chair. Fuck you. Asshole. On the list.


--SPOTH56

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32 comments:

said...

Nothing chaps my ass more in Boston then this practice. Actually called the cops on a lady once because she screamed at me for 10 min. They came down and made her remove the chair. ha FUCK YOU BITCH!

said...

hmm, looks like someone's referring back to notes on scraps of paper inside his ski jacket for list bits.

said...

I usually jot mine down on my lift ticket I keep attached to my zipper until july.

said...

also: calling the cops.

said...

parked in "someone's spot" this year and had a note left on my window about how being a good neighbor means not taking someone else's parking spot. move to the fucking suburbs if you want a parking spot, assholes.

Anonymous said...

We Own the Streets
Death Before Dishonor (reunion)
The New Collissions
Shitburgers

With Chris Keene manning the sound boards

Monday
430 am
Church
$0, 35+

said...

justice, zack wells style

said...

The woman threatened to hit m e with her shovel and damage my car. That's when I lost it.

said...

I love it when people are crazy at me

said...

have you considered a job in public service then?

said...

getting angry.

can't remember the last time i lost my shit, if ever, over some minor inconvenience.

said...

luke oneil is above it all.

said...

having a car

said...

even keeled over here.

said...

even keeled over is a nice turn of phrase

yeah said...

test

no said...

^doing that

Anonymous said...

THIS IS TIMELY AND RELEVANT. My a-hole neighbor puts a cone in her spot YEAR ROUND. Oh, and also places Musical Cars with her three vehicles to make sure that the new that are never driven always occupy the "guest" spots.

Anonymous said...

haha did someone seriously just spam a show in this thread and no one commented on it yet?

Anonymous said...

Ha, that would be awesome, but look a little closer at the show details.

Anonymous said...

now i see where the lols are. thank you sir.

jimmi h said...

I feel a strong desire to move all these chairs to the sidewalk, or down the street. Not on my actual block, because I don't want to incite retaliation from neighbors, but as I walk the streets this winter season... move all these chairs out of the way. They are garbage blocking the street. OR, write "Garbage" signs and attach to chairs, preferably on pick up day. I just want to legally put a wrench in their day. (Social Hacker). I will let you know if I stand by my words, cause I am kind of a pussy.

said...

My bit

said...

According to my man who lives in Brighton, this shit is actually condoned by the city:

I got the city's winter pamphlet in the mail the other day where they list out snow emergency procedures and winter heating requirements and such and it actually said "only keep chairs in spots for no longer than 48 hours".

said...

I bet I could come up with a few scenarios where luke would lose his shit. Don't buy it.

said...

Any 'spacesavers' left in on-street parking spaces that have been shoveled out must be removed 48 hours after a snow emergency has ended.

http://www.cityofboston.gov/snow/parking/

said...

one time a hero snow plower saved me from having a heart attack attempting to shovel out my buried to the roof silver bucket. doz is my witness!!!

said...

I don't know if Doz counts as a reliable witness.

dcmp said...

They've made this shit legal now? WTF?

said...

Menino tried to make it illegal and the city went totally ape spank over the whole thing, so he came up with the 48 hour rule.

dcmp said...

Tell me this, who are the bums, us or them? Cuz I can tell you who lost. I know that much.

Anonymous said...

Someone once put a chair in a spot that *I* had shoveled out. Thanks for the free chair, babe!

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