Condolences, pitiful beta-humans, because you’ve just inched one step closer to your evolutionary irrelevance today. Supermodel Gisele Bündchen and All-American sentient action figure Tom Brady have announced phase two of their insidious plot to populate the world with a master race of über kinder with the successful launch of The Second, code name “Vivian Lake.”
Bündchen announced the next step in human progress via her Facebook page today, writing:
We feel so lucky to have been able to experience the miracle of birth once again and are forever grateful for the opportunity to be the parents of another little angel. Vivian Lake was born at home on December 5. She is healthy and full of life. Thank you all for your support and well wishes. We wish you and your families many blessings .
The message was then repeated in Portuguese, as a reminder that none of us, no matter where we live in this increasingly irrelevant prehistoric culture, will be safe from the impending cleansing power of these two titans’ loin-chemistry.
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