Jake Zavracky has been writing about the Hot 100 music charts for us lately. Here's his review of the top 5 songs of the year. Woh, Ellie Goulding made the list? That seems like a mistake, but OK, can't argue with data. ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN YOU GUYS.
5. "Lights" - Ellie Goulding
There is something about not emoting that plays in 2012. Perhaps it was overdone in the previous couple of decades and now people prefer listening to a song by a singer that doesn't seem particularly interested in singing it.
Ellie Goulding has lots of good songs, but in typical fashion, America has chosen the one that isn't that good to make into a huge hit. I listened to it several times while writing this and I still don't understand what she's saying or what she's talking about: "I had a heart then but the queen has been overthrown." Right. Well done America.
4. "Payphone" - Maroon 5
Speaking of not being particularly interested in doing things, Maroon 5 doesn't seem particularly interested in writing a song that sounds finished, yet somehow people are keenly interested in finishing the process of giving them money for it.
Apparently Joe American Record Buyer is still willing to go against all rational thought and believe that someone that is a good singer just because television says he is.
When Adam Levine sings, all I can picture is a head made entirely out of nose. But it's a very small nose.
This song features a jarring interlude by middling rapper Wiz Khalifa which is like a musical representation of a group of record executives walking into Maroon 5's studio and telling the guys they figured out a brilliant way to make even more money. "OK, I guess we can add a rap section in the middle even though it will sound like it's coming out of nowhere and it's completely pointless" said Maroon 5. Thanks Universal!
3. "We Are Young" - Fun. feat. Janelle Monae
In what seems like an endless stream of songs that have choruses that have nothing to do with the rest of the song came Fun's "We Are Young". The original title of this song was "We Are Annoying" but they changed it because they thought it was too obvious.
Despite what you might think upon hearing it for the first time, this recording is not REO Speedwagon performing a selection from the musical "Annie".
The cloying hook in "We Are Young" features the line "we can burn brighter than the sun", which is one of those things people say in songs but if anyone said it to you in person you would projectile vomit all over their face.
2. "Call Me Maybe" - Carly Rae Jepsen
Carly Rae Jepsen is 27, which is about 10 years older than it sounds like the person singing this song should be. Call Me Maybe, which also has a jarring transition from verse to chorus, spent 10 weeks at # 1. When the chorus of this song comes in you think "Hey, did someone just change the radio station?"
Despite its incongruity, "Call Me Maybe" is an obvious hit right on first listen. Clearly the Biebs thought so, and he signed her to his label Schoolboy Records. That kid has an ear for talent, and he's very talented himself. We'll all be listening to him ten years from now, you can bet every dollar you have on it.
1. "Somebody That I Used To Know" - Gotye featuring Kimbra
Gotye and Kimbra, who are people and not characters from the Lion King, have the year's number one song. In 2012, Gotye was the first Australian to have the # 1 single and album since Silverchair in 2007. The most incredible thing about that sentence is that Silverchair is still a band. The second most incredible thing about it is that Silverchair had a #1 hit song and # 1 hit record 13 years after they should have never been thought of again. So think twice before you take any musical advice from Australia.
It's remarkable that, in 2012, a song that takes 1:33 seconds to get to the hook is the number one song of the year. Especially considering that nothing of particular interest occurs in those 1:33 seconds. If not for its viral video, it is hard to imagine the American music buyer ever getting past the first minute. The hook is basically unassailable, don't get me wrong.
For my money Rihanna's "Diamonds" is the best pop song that charted in the Hot 100 this year. Honorable mentions are Drake's "Take Care" (also featuring Rihanna because apparently Rihanna has to be on everything), LFMAO's stupidly fun "Party Rock Anthem", Adele's "Rumour Has It", Kesha's "Die Young" even though she's clearly endorsing mass murder in the lyrics, "Adorn", Miguel's loving ode to Marvin Gaye's "Sexual Healing", and Frank Ocean's "Novacane."
And that's 2012. 2013 holds many questions for pop music. What will happen to dub-step? Which legend will surprise us by dying young? And will Gotye have another hit? Just kidding about that last one, obviously not.
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