UPDATE: Last year around this time I asked some of my homeboys what their big plans for New Year's Eve were, which made me consider two things: Why are all my friends so angry? Actually, just that one thing I guess. Since doing a new version of the same idea would require me having accumulated some new friends/putting in the minimal amount of effort, here's what they had to say last time, which, I'm guessing, hasn't changed much, since we're all even older and grumpier than we were then.
Also worth a read Mint E Fresh on Why hating New Year's means you actually hate yourself
Also worth a read Mint E Fresh on Why hating New Year's means you actually hate yourself
Keep in mind here that most of us aren't actually, how do you say, fresh-faced, so take this advice with a grain of salt. Then again, none of us are actually, how do you say, fucking stupid, so keep that in mind as well. What's your beef with New Year's? Lemme know in the comment hole.
Alright, let's do this thing:
It's like St. Patrick's Day puked on the Superbowl. I met my wife on NYE though, so there's that.
Jason, MMA enthusiast, shiny dome, New Hampshire
Because it's for the young. It's like a planet-wide all-ages show you're either tricked into going to, or made to feel guilty and lame for skipping.
Erik, gadget man, writer, nerd, South Shore USA
I don't like it because of time zones. Like, you make this big deal about this one moment, and then you realize that all your homeboys in San Francisco will just be sitting around for another three hours before they drink champagne and kiss some girl. On New Year's Eve 2000 I was in the Grand Canyon and felt really sad because there was literally no one I knew in that time zone. I didn't even know when Y2K armageddon was supposed to happen, the eastern time zone? Western? Mountain? It just seemed stupid. It reminds me of Gremlins 2, when one of the guys in the control room points out how it doesn't make sense that you can't feed the gremlins after midnight, because what if you're on a plane and it crosses a time zone while you're in the middle of feeding Mowgli. Does he turn into Stripe and then turn right back?
Dan, words-maker, Mark Sanchez fan, New York
You inevitably get so drunk that you miss the ball drop 'cause you're outside barfing or mindlessly talking to some kid you just met. Then when you get back inside, your girlfriend is crying/super fucking pissed because she was looking for you to give you that special midnight kiss that she's been waiting for all day, but instead she found herself all alone while everyone around her was kissing and WHY DO YOU HAVE TO FUCK UP EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME! Russians say the way you spend New Year's Eve is the way the rest of the year will run. God damn were they right about that. It was all beers and tears.
Arv, bloggy, brown fellow, New York
More bitching...
Four words: champagne toast at midnight. Every fucking bar uses this as an excuse to charge $40 for admission to a bar that's usually free or maybe $5, and for what? Plastic glasses half filled with $3-a-bottle "champagne"? Shit's not worth drinking unless the bottle cost more than $100, and they're not passing that stuff out for free, even after collecting $40 per head.
Dave, radio-man, bearded
Holy shit, it's NYE! I'm gonna do it up real special this year, really go for it. Force some smiles into a bag and swing 'em around real merry like. Fuck you, NYE. If you need an excuse to get drunk and teary eyed with your friends/family you lose. Where I come from, we call that “Tuesday.” That being said, I totally want to kiss someone when that shiny ball drops and afterwards I'll most likely make between 5 and 10 overly emotional phone calls.
Leo, restaurant man, bearded, scarves
Not really down to spend $100 on a mediocre "prix fixe" meal and mingle with a bunch of douchers who had to Google "prix fixe" before committing. Nor am I down with blowing my heating bill on shitty drinks, a thimble full of champagne, cheese and crackers and a DJ playing dope-as-fuck Drake remixes and Journey mash-ups. And noise makers, party hats and number-shaped neon glasses suck as much as adults in Halloween costumes and ass-clowns who dress up in green on St. Paddy's Day, whether Irish or not. Just drink as usual. Why all the effort and over-the-toppiness?
Dave, news-man, Dorchester kehd
For the same reason that St. Patrick's Day does: it's a million amateurs in from the suburbs who drink more than they can handle, start bro fights and then drive their cars into my face while I'm crossing the street. Also, thanks a lot to the bars for gouging away on the cover charge. It's not a "free champagne toast" if I'm paying $20 more than normal at the door.
Richard, bloggy band blogz, Boston
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17 comments:
We just host a party. It's like we're fulfilling a social obligation without having to leave home. Obviously NYE blows, but like Valentines Day (and unlike St Paddy's or July 4 or Halloween), your bird is going to be really cheesed if you don't sack up and celebrate.
the fuck is up with that new banner?
Good call on the birds. What do you mean what is up with it? It's a fucking wolf attacking.
There are like 58 other Fridays each year where you can fall asleep on the couch at 9:30
Also, you get my party invite?
That's hard to argue with.
Actually no. Is there going to be a gong involved again?
NYE is the perfect example of everyone's whole life summed up in one eve. Enormous expectations and inevitable let downs while everyone you know is looking for someone more exciting to hang out with leaving you ultimately miserable and drunk. This is till this year! I am def gonna meet the future love of my life, all while having a menage and trois with scarlett johansson and your mom, while John Lennon and Morrisey duet on stage, and a doctor tells me the big government secret that drugs are really not bad for you and then gives me an 8 ball because... well... this year its gonna be sweet!
that is the best banner yet. i love love love it. wolf attack!
haha moose.
go check out the other photos in the series. they're pretty bad ass.
http://1x.com/member/27630/shlomi-nissim/
new year's day is a saturday. me and my crew are going out hard NYD. kids are too hung to go out, you can get a cab whenever you want, no covers, empty bars which means you never have to wait for a drink, and that new banner is fucking awesome.
That's actually kind of genius. Ill be at GS myself on NYDN
1/1/11 at 1(pm) dude.
that just broke my brain hammer.
The birds won't like that banner
i dont have a problem with it.
The best night of my life was a NYE. Also the worst.
I made up that second part, but I wanted to feel Dickensian.
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