I had been planning on writing about this piece Tattoo Etiquette 101 -- How To Appreciate My Body Art Without Making Me Hate You on xojane earlier this week, but then, you know, I didn't (via laziness). Also because it's full of stuff like this: "the issue of women’s bodies -- and the view of our bodies as being on display and open for consumption and commentary..."
I also figured this was pretty well-covered territory around here. But then last night, one of my favorite things in the world happened, a beta-ass broad reached out toward me out of nowhere at the bar, grabbed my arm, and held it up for her careful inspection like a Korean dude with a telescope on his face pricing out stolen jewels, jabbed at one of my tattoos with her free flipper and asked "What does this meeeeannnnnn?"
There are a couple of correct answers here. 1) It means "fuck off" in Cyrillic is what it means. 2) I don't know, what do your pants mean? Or thirdly, some variation of which is what I usually go with, "It means I wanted to look cool one day, and I had like two hours to kill and a couple hundred bucks I was mad at, so I flushed it down the shitter and onto my meaty bone-shirt."
The piece on xojane brings up a lot of good points about the ways people like my girl last night without tattoos, or even sketchy dudes with them, view other people's "body art" (don't ever call it that). They see them as being like a checkered Nascar starting flag waving them across the threshold of communication, thinking to themselves "That dirty scumbag seems to have made some poor decisions in life, perhaps having sex with me will be their next one."
The singularly named Alli gets it right below, although I obviously take issue with this being a woman-only problem:
"... strangers often feel they’re invited to approach me, because of my tattoos (a phenomenon many of my heavily tattooed male friends don’t experience). I’m in awe of the way people feel my ink allows them to touch, chide, judge, or flat out harass me....I’m sick and tired of strangers or people I’m barely acquainted with, using my (usually concealed) body art as a way to barge into my personal, physical and emotional, space."
When they’re visible (and they’re usually not), my tattoos are not an invitation. They are not on my body for anyone’s enjoyment other than my own. I don’t have to explain them (one woman insisted I tell her the meaning behind EVERY SINGLE tattoo on my left sleeve) and I sure as hell am not the bad guy when a stranger takes it upon themselves to start judging me, verbally, based on them.
What follows is her list of tattoo rules, which include some pretty great ones, like Don’t touch anyone without their consent, They don’t all have a story, and Please don’t show me yours, all of which I fully back. But this whole thing can be simplified down to an even more basic set of rules when it comes to talking about tattoos, which I have included for you here.
How to talk to people about their tattoos
1) Don't.
The end.
OK, fine, I'll elaborate a little more. There are exactly two reasons why a person would get a tattoo in the first place:
1) They want to look like a person who has tattoos (and therefor make themselves eligible to apply for access to the field of tattoo-having penis/vagina holders for which membership is a prerequisite.
2) Because their mom died.
That's it. Bringing up a person's tattoos in conversation forces them to recognize either of these facts and it's embarassing for everyone.
[Important to note here, however, that if you're an attractive person, all of this, just like any other rule anywhere, goes out the window. Carry on and do what you will, because the world is yours.]
[Important to note here, however, that if you're an attractive person, all of this, just like any other rule anywhere, goes out the window. Carry on and do what you will, because the world is yours.]
I wrote a while back: "This line of questioning always puts people on the defensive, like all of a sudden they're at a job interview. Are you like the head of creative at this bar? You considering me for a design gig at the firm? I didn't realize I was going to need to present an artist's statement when I stopped off for a beer tonight and flapped my arms around. Next time I'll wear a man burka if it makes you act less boring. Why not ask me about something less obvious, like whether or not it's cold enough for me today. It is, actually, thanks for asking."
OK fine part 2. There's a third option for getting a tattoo, if you're really twisting my arm, which you might literally be doing based on the type of reaction my tattoos usually get, and that is because you like the way something looks that you saw somewhere else, and thought, I would also like to look like that. Tattoos are fashion, after all, and that is 100% how every single fashion choice anyone has ever made was decided upon. Me like that, me want that, me have that.
My homegirl Katy Kelleher explained it a little more subtly in a piece called Painted Ladies: On Tats And Trashiness on Jezebel a while back thusly:
...there is another way in which the un-inked routinely shame those of us who have opted to enhance our skin. People seem to believe that every tattoo holds some secret meaning, and perhaps this is the final criterion for a "good" tattoo. This assumption never fails to annoy me, as if every swath of ink should have a better back story than something like, "I got this weird Dorito-looking thing on my ankle because I was drunk at a party and this guy said he was pretty good at doing at-home tattoos and I thought he was cute so…" Okay, so maybe that's my back story. But that's not the problem; the problem is that the questioner, who usually means well, seems to need for some greater significance behind my decision, and I suspect I'm actually being asked to justify the whole thing. Why? To clear up some misconception about the type of person who would willingly get some meaningless image permanently captured on their skin simply because –- here is a real shocker -– they might just like the way it looks. Strangely, this answer never seems quite sufficient.
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I think we'll all get a little bit closer to a comfortable coexistence in the world, the inked-up, and the too scared to get a tattoo alike if we can remember that answer. "I liked the way it looked." That's not to say we should take any of this shit too seriously. It's a splotch of paint on your meat at the end of the day, right?
Our man Sergeant D over at Stuff You Will Hate posted about the type of over reaction that xojane piece is emblematic of with this post Asshole in a suit = still an asshole.
LOL @ how people with stupid tattoos/body mods are always like “U CANT JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER.” I also love how they get super butt sensitive about being “discriminated against” like they’re fucking Rosa Parks, because then they make hilarious images like this where they “prove the haters wrong” (erroneously implying that anyone really gives a fuck in the first place).
Speaking of getting butthurt about "body art", I just got what has to be the single most self-serious email from a PTSOTL reader ever based on another piece from Sergeant D we ran here about ear plugs Scene for life. Literally. | Sick ear gauges, bro. It was from a lady named Modied Zombie:
Why wouldn't you trust someone who has big plugs in their ears, handling your prescription at their job? You think because someone has a passion for body modification that they're strung out or what? That's a bullshit stereotype and you need to pull your head out of your fucking ass. And I think it's ridiculous to judge someone for a job, based on their piercings or tattoos. They're here to work like everyone else and not hurting anyone. And it's not mutilation, unless certain people make it out to be that way or choose to make it a bloody massacre. Also, they're called plugs and tunnels. Not gauges, you uneducated fucktard. Different? Yes. Extreme? Sure. Art? Definitely. Just because someone looks different and has a different viewpoint, you shouldn't judge them. They know what they've done to their bodies and I'm sure they know they'll have to live with that and accept that, graciously. So they don't need dicks like you bashing them or trying to brainwash them into this uptight, normal looking citizen of this piece of shit planets society. And you know why? Because some asshole said so and got followers, so on and so forth. And you're one of them, so please go die in a fire. ^^
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With heroes like this on one side, and basic ass bitches on the other pressuring you into declaiming meaningful poetry about a couple of ink squiggles all the time, I'm not exactly sure what side I'm more comfortable with. I guess in this case I'll just do what comes most naturally and hate them both equally. What does that mean?
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27 comments:
um. yeah. I got a boob job so nobody would look at my tits.
Do people walk up to you all the time, honk your fake tits like old timey car horns, and ask you what they mean?
You get a boob job/ tattoo so other people /you yourself can look at them, not to enlist yourself into the service of other people who want you to proclaim about their underlying metaphor.
"______________ has been a huge part of my life forever! So and so tattoo artist is AMAZING!! I love it!!!! <3 <3 (lol sorry about my birthmark:p )" - tagline to every tattoo picture on tumblr
band tattoos.
I just get them because I love cartoons so why not slap them all up and down my arms and legs and chest?
I think most people who bring up another's tattoos are doing so for one of the following reasons.
You don't do what I do therefore I must raise the issue in order to make you feel bad
I must raise the issue to let you know I want to fuck you because you seem bad ass.
The person with the tattoo doesn't appreciate the first and is flattered by the second. Only do so for the second.
honestly i think tattoos are dumb and i'm never going to have one but have you ever seen miami/LA/london/'insert city here' ink? every fucker that walks in the shop has some lofty reason for getting a tattoo..
i'm getting this huge fish tattoo cause it means strength and my dad is a strong guy and his best friend's sister has cancer so i'm getting this fish.
idk why people feel they have to justify them at all really..
it's like someone asking me why i have my ears pierced
obviously so i can hang shiny jewels from them!
why did he get a huge picture of a fish?
idk. probably wanted nothing more than to be able to look at a fish all day long
someone i know has a tattoo of me.. it's dumb but it makes me feel famuzzz
I went into a liquor store with my dad, who saw the cashier's tattoo of a bar code and numbers. My dad said, baffled, "What is this Auschwitz ink here? Aren't you about 25?" The guy turned deep purple and mumbled some shit about individuality (yep).
my tattoos mean more than yours.
who is the banner girl? looks familiar
Moose: I forgot the most important rule here, and in all other situations: if you're attractive, there are no rules, do whatever you want.
dollface: yes, but those are people on a reality show, which douchiness superceded their status as people with tattoos.
bee: anyone who suggests that someone is getting a tattoo to seem different is a liar.
i'd like to talk to that all three of those birds re: their tattoos. IYKWIM.
Talk with your dick, if I understand correctly...
Love the stars and bars on that first pic. Sweet tittays!
What does it mean when people who are inked have sex with people who are uninked? I can attest to this happening, and it did not feel particularly odd from my end.
A-bloo-bloo-bloo. Your tattoos are purely for yourself just as much as pair of fake tits. They are there to make you look different to other people, and thus make you feel better.
Your problem is that everyone can see them, including the people you don't want a reaction from. Now if this was a haircut or a shirt, hey, whatever. You just wear it to the club/bar/etc. where you want to be noticed and take it off later.
Except you can't, because you infused it into your skin. And now the only thing you can do is bitch on your blog about the reaction your stupid tattoo gets at bars.
That's exactly what I said. They're because you want to look a certain way. The expectation from other people that it has to be anything else than a fashion statement is what is annoying.
"Do people walk up to you all the time, honk your fake tits like old timey car horns, and ask you what they mean?"
Laughed my ass off at this.
Tattoos are kind of like putting your birthday on Facebook. If you put it out there, a certain segment of the population feels compelled to comment on it and you just have to deal with it because it’s your fault and you knew it would happen.
Funny, I wrote a blog about this recently:
■ First of all, they're not called "tats" or "ink". What I, and many people have on our bodies, are called "tattoos".
■ Next, just because the only female you know off hand who has a lot of tattoos is Kat Von D...that doesn't mean I look like her.
■ When you ask, "Does that hurt?"....no, my tattoo is not currently hurting. If you ask, "Did that hurt?"....well it didn't feel good. These things are put on by needles.
■ My apologies if I don't seem that interested in your tattoo. If it's something I want to see, I'll ask you. But don't come up and interrupt my conversation to show me your kanji and get upset when I don't ask you 21 questions about the meaning of your "tat". That would be like if I came up to you while you're in the middle of something and say, "Hey! You! With the shirt! I have a shirt too! Our shirts are nothing alike, but because we both like shirts means we MUST have a lot in common. Right? Now tell me your life story about why you have that shirt on."
■ Not all of my tattoos have meaning. Sometimes, they're just because I appreciate the art of it. So don't ask me to explain to you all of them - you'll be here for hours.
■ Lastly....they're not scratch 'n sniff....you don't have to touch me to look at them. I don't like that.
I admire your restraint in not linking to your own blog! Please feel free however.
ha, all good points.
I'm most interested in how you got those black boxes to show up though. woh.
Well, by blog, I mean Facebook note. I don't really know how to work these things...
Did I do it?
facebook is a blog.
I liked the article and all that but jeez calm down girl!
And yes as a matter of fact I did get my tattoo for a deep metaphysical reason by the way,really.
Tattoos are a bad idea for anyone! I got one on each arm in 1984, when I was in my 20's and at that time I thought I was a Bad-Ass Headbanger, playing my Kramer guitar and marshall half-stack in a bunch of garage bands that didn't go anywhere. I got a big flying dragon on one arm and a panther fighting with a snake with a jungle background on the other arm. Now it is 2012 and I am 47 years old, and I don't do heavy metal anymore, and I am stuck with these two stupid ink drawings on my human flesh, and there's nothing I can do about it! I have had a rotator cuff surgery a couple of years ago and they cut through the beautiful expensive dragon tattoo and ruined it. All of you young people out there who want these disgusting things, please DON'T DO it! Three Reasons! 1. You cannot get colored tattoos lasered off, the technology does not exist yet. 2.You'll be old and wrinkled before you know it, and you're tattoos will look like a big blob of colored cancer on your 60 yerar old body, cause' the designs will become faded and blurred and stretched. 3. If you ever have to have surgery somewhere on yourself, the tattoo will be cut up and ruined. There are also lots of disgusting chemicals in tattoo ink such as mercury, zinc, iron and coal that can later on in life give you cancers and skin conditions. And you can never get in a public swimming pool without being stared at! And ladies, keep your skin natural and beautiful, you don't need these disgusting things to enhance your beauty, a woman's skin is sacred! Marylyn Monroe had no stupid tattoos! And besides they'll make you look like a cheap biker tramp! Tattoos are not fashion, they are cheap body destroying trash! Take care everybody!
Give me a fucking break, everybody!!! Go live your lives and stop worrying about what everyone else is doing!!! Tattoos are beautiful, I have six myself and I am getting my right arm sleeved out this year, they don't have to mean anything at all, they just have to represent whatever it is that your into or that you love. If you're going to get a visible tattoo, people are going to be curious and ask about it so suck it up and just be nice to whoever asked you. For the guy who said that tattoos are a bad idea, it was obviously a bad choice for you but most of the world's population loves tattoos and has them, so don't put them down or the women who have them. Everyone is beautiful in their own way, so let them have thier fun. We all know what tattoos are going to look like when we are 60 so quit telling us already!!! Tattoos and beautiful, fun and sexy in my opinion, that's why I have choosen to put them on my body and if someone is going to ask me to let them look my tattoos, I always proudly let them do so. The world would be such a better place if people worried more about themselves and their families and less about strangers that their never going to see again inking up their bodies.
tremendous things ,,,is very good tattoo like other tattoos designs in blog.
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