Thursday, January 10, 2013

A Handy Guide To Help Determine Whether or Not Your Band Tattoo Is Awful (Spoiler: It Is)



Last week the Daily News broke the story about New York Jets coach Rex Ryan's tattoo, a Lost-like Easter egg pregnant with allegory and symbolism that held all the clues to the mysteries of the Jets woeful season on bungling purgatory island. It was, in case you missed it, an image of his wife wearing the jersey of on-again off-again quarterback Mark Sanchez. 

After spending the entire weekend alternating between tears of laughter and gleeful schadenfreude (go Brady!), the inky taste transgression reminded me of one of the cardinal rules for tattoos in music--aka sports for skinny people--which I like to call the "don't get high on your own supply" corollary. In other words, just like you don't get a tattoo of your own professional sports team (because it's a fickle business and things change quickly) or of your girlfriend's name (ditto), you definitely don't get a tattoo of your own band. Why? Because your band is going to break up and you are going to hate everyone in it. This is not up for debate. ("Wino-na Judd Forever" would be a pretty sick tat though, if anyone in Nashville is looking for ideas). 

That's only the tip of the inky iceberg, of course. There are as many ways to be bad at tattoos in music as there are to be bad at music itself. As Tolstoy said, "All good tattoos are good in the same way. All bad band tattoos are stupid. Also, what's a band tattoo?" 

Here are a few of our favorites from bands and fans alike, from the off-centered and the ill-considered, to the horrifyingly demonic, and the confoundedly bone-headed.


brought to you by

No comments:

Post a Comment