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| Joshua Hagler |
No one is going to deny that a significant percentage of the Occupy movement are worthy of ridicule, , doing his best Howard W. Campbell Jr. from Mother Night impression, which everyone and their racist uncle is popping link boners about on the internet today, is exactly the type of thing that I was talking about in this piece Why can't liberals be more liberal? | Don't judge the Occupy movement by its stereotypes when I wrote:
That type of obfuscation is a deliberate shell game that serves to distract from the substance of the issue, and usually serves to sway the malleable center into siding with the seeming standard-bearers of normalcy and comfort. When you frame an argument as an opposition between sober, reasonable businessmen, or landowners, or family-men and women versus craaazzzyyyywhackjobbbssss hopped up on drugs or false gods or evil buttsex, you can't really blame a lot of people for coming down on the side that seems more likely to have its shit together. Having your shit completely together, however, while often a worthwhile way to have your shit arranged, as opposed to splashing said shit over the place, for example, shouldn't be the only collective, or individual, aspiration of a society. Sometimes putting someone's else shit together can be nice too.
HERP ADAM CAROLLERZ 'MADE IT' (HARD WORK!) WHY DON'T YOU LAZY BUMS TRY HARDER MAYBE THEN YOU CAN BE FAMOUS AND RICH 2??
What do you think? Did Carolla effing nail it? Did he put these hippies in their place? Are you going to work hard and make it to the top of your specific field someday (via bootstraps)?
Here are some "highlights" of his rant below, which I copy and pasted from the Barstool Sports blog on the subject because I'm lazy and don't work as hard as they do as getting the scoop. You may be surprised they are really excited about it over there, which tells you everything you need to know about the type of person who sympathizes with Carolla's line of thinking. Here's an excerpt of their reasoned analysis:
...Which also brings me to my third point – despite the fact that theres like 10% unemployment, when you look at it from a different angle theres more ways to make money in this world than ever before. Look at me. I blog about donuts and adult onesies and my cosmetic physical shortcomings and I get enough money to live in New York City. Fucking Jenna Marbles works one day a week talking about her dogs and what happens when she gets fucked and she’s probably making enough loot to be considered 1%. This day and age, with the internet and social media and all that other jazz, there are infinite more ways to make money than the previous generations. And instead of taking advantage of such an amazing era where you can invent stupid shit and Mark Zuckerberg the FUCK out of life you choose to shit in a park and bang on drums.
PS – Don’t respond to this with Wall Street talk. The fundamental errors Wall Street made are a different issue, separate from the sense of entitlement attitude the protesters have
Yeah, don't bring up the root causes of this mess when we're talking about the protestors' response to it. That wouldn't be fair. Don't blame Wall Street, this is all about the way a certain subsection of society smells and what type of percussion instruments they favor.
Spake Carolla:
“Self entitled pricks who thinks the world owes them a live. And now we’re getting the first wave of these douchebags. And now they grew up, and its fine if you grow up in this little snowglobe of a life where everything is awesome and everyone gets participation trophies and theres no losers and everythings awesome. But then you get out into the real world and you realize – I’m a fuckin loser. You’re not doing that well. You’re not makin that much money. And they’re feeling shame. They’ve been shamed by life. Because they havent been prepared for life. Because they’ve had so much smoke blown up their fucking collective asses by the time they get out in the real world, they realize the real world doesn’t give a fuck where you’re from or what your mommy said you were or how pretty you were or what you do. All those lies that were told to your parents about how special you are and how nobody was created like you, and all this bullshit advertisements – Nike and all this ‘theres just one you!’ and ‘you take it all’ and ‘its your world’ and and all that Reebok shit – doesn’t mean shit when you get to the real world and you’re just looked at as pee-on #27 whos puttin in an application and guess what “I don’t like your attitude, douche. Get your fuckin feet off my desk and hit the bricks I’m not hiring you.” Now, your plan is to come back and throw a brick at my window. Thats your plan. This is whats going on. Its this envy and shame and theres gonna be a lot more of it.
Because it used to be father and son walking down the sidewalk and you see a guy go by in a Rolls Royce and the father says ‘there goes Mr. Jenkins. LOOK UP TO HIM. That guy works hard. That guy built a company. That guy built an empire. Now look at him. He’s driving his Rolls Royce up the hill.” But what do we do now? Now its like ‘oh look at him. Does he need that car? Whys he need that car? I’m driving a fucking Chevette. Whys he get to drive that fuckin car? You know what? Lets go up there and throw a rock at it.’ That ain’t gonna help you get out of the Chevette, ass douche. And by the way parents, society – we are creating a group of self entitled monsters. Knock it off.”
Instead of looking in the mirror and going “why the fuck am I not doing better?” you just find some guy whos got more shit than you and go “Hey man! What do you need all that shit for!” Its the same version of “Hey man! What do you need that MVP trophy for!” Cause I bust my ass, thats why. Or maybe I’m just genetically better than you. Either way buddy. I got the trophy. So shut the FUCK up and get the FUCK back to work, or better yet, on the bench. Where you belong”
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17 comments:
This is why Jimmy Kimmel got a late night show, while Adam Carolla struggles to hang onto his dwindling cultural relevance.
True. Although I certainly wouldn't mind being 1/10 as culturally relevant as that asshole.
If Jenna Marbles is rich I want to occupy another dimension.
Are we counting wealth based on tits and ass?
WTF is Jenna Marbles?
Jenna Marbles is an attractive and goofy young lady who is famous for making funny faces on the internet.
Is yr google broken ?
http://www.youtube.com/user/JennaMarbles
^ "attractive" being a relative term, naturally, although she certainly seems to do it for plenty of bros out there. Although, like you, other anon, I didn't know who Jenna Marbles was either, until Luke mentioned her in another post, and she's easy enough to avoid. Still, I preferred when I was totally unaware.
@Luke Somewhat related, now that we know your feelings about tumblr, care to weigh in on how V-logging stacks up in terms of internet time-wasters, in your opinion?
For the record I think JM is pretty funny and cute most of the time, and she definitely has a BANGIN BIKINI BOD bb.
vlogging is something I don't understand and probably never will, however. The missus has all sorts of cute girls with reall big eyes who stare at the camera and do quick reaction jump cuts to their own funny musings that I don't really get.
Luke, I like you and Carolla. Is that an insult ?
Nah, I used to like him a lot too. Haven't listened in a while. Like most old men it seems like he's losing the plot a little in favor of his I got mine now fuck you philosophy however. WILL IT HAPPEN TO ME TOO?
his show was good when it was just him and the guests. then it got all morning zoo radio with the clown sound effects and weak sauce fillers.
i think i've just tuned out all of this crap as much as i can. it's all just pointless drivel. oh michelle bachmann did this idiotic thing today and some retard called the OWS people whiny babies. fuck it, let's go bowling.
Jenna Marbles looks like every other girl from Suffolk U. Thank you for single-handily keeping the platinum blonde hair dye industry afloat.
Godfuckingdamnit I couldn't listen to that for more than a minute. As soon as he started talking about that idiotic participation trophy theory I could feel my heart rate skyrocketing. Glenn Beck says that same shit. So, just so I understand, the reason there's a HUGE gap in wealth in this country and people are now starting to demand more equality is becasue we all got fucking soccer trophies when we were kids?
Also, assdouche? Is there one conservatice person out there that can come up with anything remotely clever? It's like they were born without a sense of irony and couldn't snark their way out of an American flag factory in China. Listening to these dicks crack "jokes" is like hanging out in a 5th grade boys locker room, which, incidentallly is what most of them probably wish they could be doing anyway.
Because they're gay.
But yeah, you about nailed it. Never been a funny conservative ever, except ones who turned as they got old and learned how to be funny as a younger liberal (via gavin). And yes, the predatory profit motive tearing the country apart is becaue like 18 years ago some parents were lenient. the end.
but you like norm mcdonald
Yeah, but... hrm. Got me there you potato chomping cunt.
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