Our attempt to EXPLAIN THE ENTIRE WORLD continues today with a look at Peoria from Justin Glawe. See previous entries on New Jersey, Canada, and Colombia. Want to tell us about your shitty town? Let me know.
Peoria, Illinois is a place that exists
I hate to start any description of Peoria by comparing it to Chicago but the two cities share one glaring similarity: they are racially segregated on fairly strict geographical lines. And while racism in Chicago is of the look-over-your-shoulder-before-making-a-joke-about-black-people variety, Peoria's brand of redneck ignorance is much more in-yo-face. If you live below the bluff upon which this typical Midwest river town sits, you're most likely poor and black.
Ensuring Peoria's black population resides in the most crime-ridden parts of the city isn't enough for the greater Peoria area, the white population here had to go and create a bunch of shitty redneck towns surrounding the River City where the N-Bombs can fly freely. The most racist is undoubtedly Pekin. Its high school mascot up until the '80s was the "Chinks." Haha get it? Cuz Pekin sounds like Peking which is where Chinks live!
What's more, all these assholes that don't even live here love to go online and talk about how bad it is. The comments for a recent story in the Peoria Journal Star about a family who adopted two children from Zambia had to be turned off because that shit got racist real quick. If that wasn't enough, here's one of two comments from the managing editor's remarks about the issue.
Let's move on.
What's more, all these assholes that don't even live here love to go online and talk about how bad it is. The comments for a recent story in the Peoria Journal Star about a family who adopted two children from Zambia had to be turned off because that shit got racist real quick. If that wasn't enough, here's one of two comments from the managing editor's remarks about the issue.
nice story,good for them,,,but i do believe that turning off the comments is sensorship! kind of like Hitler did in the 30's and iran is doing now.shame on you,but im not suprised..
Let's move on.
I'm proud to say I was born in the same place as Richard Pryor. What I'm not proud of is the fact that most people in this city choose to remember him only for his crackhead period. It's also just pure, maddening bullshit that this off-the-beaten-path street is the only official recognition of the man.
We've got our own version of the Twin Towers. They're for rich people to live in, but not that many actually do because our downtown sucks and there's really not that much to do. They look pretty, though, don't they?
Peoria has some of the best blight you'll ever see. Here are some of my favorites.
One of the major dividing lines between the black and white parts of Peoria is, ironically, Martin Luther King Drive. Not far from there, at the edge of the West Bluff, is Moss Avenue. The street is filled with the former homes of whiskey barons, of which Peoria used to have a lot. Some say Peoria made more whiskey than any city in history during the 1800's but that's probably an exaggeration. We did used to have a Hiram Walker distillery as well as a Pabst Brewery in now super trendy Peoria Heights. Moss Ave. has a lot of nice homes but the only one you'll care about is this Frank Lloyd Wright house.
Teddy Roosevelt came here in 1910 and called Grandview Drive the "world's most beautiful drive" which is kind of like saying 'Merica is the greatest country in the world without ever having been to another country.
Call it the world's most beautiful drive or gtfo. The road is filled with incredibly expensive and gaudy homes but none beats this monstrosity.
That's what people in Peoria would call classy. I'm happy to see the sod I laid there three years ago when I worked the shittiest landscaping job of all time has some kind of fungus. I'm a bitter and terrible person.
And now for the worst part. Peoria is home to Caterpillar world headquarters. Eventually, that's probably the only Caterpillar-related thing Peoria will be home to because, despite ever-increasing profits, the company continues to outsource its labor and build new facilities in right-to-work states and Mexico. Much like the rest of the country, Peoria's middle class was built on manufacturing jobs. That dream is slowly being choked to death as the UAW and state of Illinois make concession after concession to their corporate overlords. The days of graduating from high school and being able to support a family with a union job at Big Yellow are almost gone. Although I will say one good thing has come from Cat shipping assembly line jobs elsewhere: They've helped to diversify Peoria's population by hiring tons of engineers from India. The Indian population here has boomed in the last ten years.
Other than that though, fuck them.
All this isn't to say Peoria sucks. I mean, it does, but its suckiness is kinda endearing. Maybe that's just because I've never really lived anywhere else. There are pockets that aren't either super ghetto or incredibly white trash. It's nice when you find them. But, as someone who loves to hate, Peoria provides me with more hate fuel than I probably need. That's a good thing though.
And now for the worst part. Peoria is home to Caterpillar world headquarters. Eventually, that's probably the only Caterpillar-related thing Peoria will be home to because, despite ever-increasing profits, the company continues to outsource its labor and build new facilities in right-to-work states and Mexico. Much like the rest of the country, Peoria's middle class was built on manufacturing jobs. That dream is slowly being choked to death as the UAW and state of Illinois make concession after concession to their corporate overlords. The days of graduating from high school and being able to support a family with a union job at Big Yellow are almost gone. Although I will say one good thing has come from Cat shipping assembly line jobs elsewhere: They've helped to diversify Peoria's population by hiring tons of engineers from India. The Indian population here has boomed in the last ten years.
Other than that though, fuck them.
All this isn't to say Peoria sucks. I mean, it does, but its suckiness is kinda endearing. Maybe that's just because I've never really lived anywhere else. There are pockets that aren't either super ghetto or incredibly white trash. It's nice when you find them. But, as someone who loves to hate, Peoria provides me with more hate fuel than I probably need. That's a good thing though.
--JUSTIN GLAWE
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13 comments:
Peoria has many more humorous and sad things to remark. Why so limited?
This is full of hyperbole. I find it a little sad that you refuse to see the good parts of Peoria.
DEFEND PEORIA
A bit tame as far as the blight goes but I like your dislike of Peoria. Justin doesn't sound like a black name.
The bad parts are the good parts? Also, I feel the fact I've lived here MY ENTIRE LIFE gives me the right to talk about this city however I plz. Also, also, everything I write could be called "full of hyperbole." Thanks!
you both seem a little angered?
It must be tough to he a hipster wannabe in Peoria. I particularly liked this:
"Ensuring Peoria's black population resides in the most crime-ridden parts of the city isn't enough for the greater Peoria area..."
Just like Detroit! It's amazing how that works, isn't it?
LOL BECAUSE BLACK PEOPLE ARE GENETICALLY DISPOSED TO COMMIT CRIMES RIGHT?
It's actually not that tough, Zane. It's really no more difficult than slamming my words under a pseudonym.
I ain't mad at cha though.
i live in chicago and go to peoria once a year to watch high school basketball. i been going since i was 10. 25 years. my uncle used to live there until he drank himself to death 2 years ago. my dad owns his house which is on gift st. i was actually hoping you would have his house pictured on your blight part of the article and sadly you didn't. if you get a chance go blow it up. srs. you would be doing my entire family a great service. anyway i digress...
peoria is quite possibly the worst place on earth. but i used to live in mansfield, OH which is like pretty much the same thing but probably worse? idk. i know Peoria pretty well and it's awful. but the Forecast is a kick ass band anyway.
Thanks for sharing. What's Chicago like anyway? Stupidly have never been.
its my favorite place on earth but its actually kind of awful. i keep coming back here. i've lived other places but always end up back here. it's like embedded in my soul.
Andy, what's the address of the Gift St. house? There's not really that many blighted homes in Central P so I'm guessing it's probably on the East Bluff. Let me know!
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