Oasis: Noel Talks Smack On: White Stripe, Wales, Wankers
It’s not every day one gets to talk with their musical hero. It’s even rarer that he turns out to be as opinionated, hilarious, and brutally candid as his mythmakers would have it. Suffice to say that when Noel Gallagher’s “people” connected us on the “blower” sometime last week, I was sufficiently intimidated. Oddly enough, he didn’t hang up on me.


My first question when I interview UK bands is always, ‘what do you think of Oasis?’
Noel: (laughs) And what do they all say? Wankers and all that?


No mostly good things, like Doves for example.
Funny enough, they’re one of my favorite bands. Their record is fucking amazing.


It really is. Something I’ve been thinking about lately, in regards to them, is all of the great bands out of Manchester. What is it over there?
I think it’s the environment. If you want to start a band, there are plenty of takers. There are lots of rehearsal rooms, guitar shops-and lots of spare time, cause there’s fuck all to do; And, the more new bands that spring up and become successful, the greater the legacy. I was fortunate to been born there, you know what I mean? If I were born in Ipswich, I probably wouldn’t be in a band; I’d be in the army.


Obviously you guys were big Stone Roses fans when you were starting.
Stone Roses, Smiths, New Order, Joy Division, Buzzcocks, Happy Mondays-that’s it really; doesn’t go any further back than that-the rest was rubbish.


What about Twenty-Four Hour Party People (the movie that chronicles the Manchester music scene)?
Grossly offensive to anyone that was there. It’s rubbish-one person’s megalomaniac view of it all. Just stupid. If you weren’t there, and don’t know any of the facts, then apparently it’s very entertaining. I think it’s making fun of something that was very serious. I was there, I was at the Hacienda when the acid house thing kicked off, and it’s all lies, all bullshit. Not worth getting into.


I heard some stories about your first gig here, in a little club called Local 186 or something, some altercation with Liam.
Oh! Right. I’ll tell you what happened. There was a bunch of guys getting in our tour manager’s face. Normally we wouldn’t give a fuck, apart from the fact she’s a lady, and that’s a bit rude. I think words were out, and there was a bit of trouble, and we had to leave ‘cause someone called the cops.


Did the show go on?
This was during the show (laughs) but, Liam is growing up slowly.


Do you spend too much time talking about Liam in interviews?
I’ll talk about anything; I really couldn’t give a fuck. People want to talk to me, and I’ll talk about what they want to talk about. Why would I take part in an interview and talk about, you know, what it’s like to be a peasant in Cuba? I mean, who gives a fuck at the end of the day?


So you don’t have any insight on that?
I give a shit. I’d like to go there.


Didn’t the Manics just go there?
This is the worst thing! Can you imagine going to Cuba, saying, ‘there’s a British band coming to play’ and then this shower of shit shows up? Three fat Wales blokes…one of them can’t decide if he’s a man or a woman. I mean come on, you know what I mean? Send someone decent. At least have the decency to send someone like Oasis or Radiohead.


I thought you might have liked them.
I like the idea of them. The singer is talented. But Nicky Wire is a total and utter ass. I don’t like people like that, with stage names and stage clothes. And he’s Welsh, plus he’s a bass player, and they’re all wankers.


I think I saw you play with them here.
Oh, we did a tour with them, but that doesn’t mean we like them. This time we’re playing with Soundtracks of Our Lives, and they are, to me, the best band in the world right now. Proper psychedelia. And they’re Swedish (laughs)


You seem like someone who’s helpful to younger bands. How do you find these bands to go on tour with you?
Listen, I don’t see myself in that light. People ask me what I like, and I’ll tell you. If that helps young bands, that’s great, but I don’t see myself as some Father Christmas figure. If they’re fucking shit, I’ll say they’re shit. Now the White Stripes- explain that to me. They’re fucking shit. Fucking rubbish. I like BRMC (Black Rebel Motorcycle) and the Strokes.


I could take them or leave them, BRMC. They were dicks to me when I interviewed them.
It takes all sorts though, doesn’t it? They can’t all be as charismatic as me. I don’t even speak for the band. Liam hates the fucking Strokes.






What happened at the Finsbury Park Shows?
Three brilliant shows. Better than I expected. About 45,000 a night.


So there doesn’t seem to be any dying off of love from the fans?
No. The crowd was all like teenagers, kids who must’ve been five when we started. It shows the appeal of the music. It’s timeless. It didn’t make me feel old.


You can probably appreciate it more, growing up on The Beatles, learning to play guitar. For me, it was listening to Oasis.
Well, I’m just happy to be a part of the fabric of music. I know lots of kids who pick up an Oasis book and a Noel Gallagher Epiphone Casino, and take it home and learn. It only takes one of these kids to start a band. I’m quite glad; I can go to sleep at night, thank you very much.


Do you ever think about how your music is all over the world?
No, too scary. I think it would only dawn on me if I went into space and looked down and said, ‘Fucking hell, people all over that place listen to my music’.


You and the guy from ‘N Sync, going to space together?
He’s going, eh? Can I make a personal plea to Al Qaida to blow up the fucking ship, please, if you don’t mind, Mr. bin Laden? Stick a bomb under that baby.


Are you looking forward to the US tour?
We always do well in America. They respect us because we don’t bullshit people. There was no bullshit with the Beatles. None with the Stones; well, there is now. When people come to our gigs, it’s not about us. We’re quite irrelevant. It’s about what’s coming out of the speakers, and that is all that fucking matters.


Do people singing along ever throw you off?
We get that a lot, but that’s more of a European thing, part of the culture. In America, people want to just sit and listen to the music, and that’s great –apart from the assholes who go to metal gigs and want to punch each other’s faces in. I just try to play all the right notes in the right places.


What’s wrong with people here? They don’t take to your music as well as everywhere else. It really bothers me.
I don’t hold it against them. We’re not aggressive in our promotion. If you like it, great, if not, fuck you. Give a shit, you know? You’ve always got Eminem. It doesn’t get any worse than that, does it? Fucking rubbish. But the music is there forever more. People can always go back and get it.


By Luke O’Neil         
First appeared Weekly Dig 7/31/02