I was just out on my back porch and I overheard a 60 year old laborer bro working next door sing "everyday I'm shuffling" out loud to no one in particular, and it reminded me about all the stupid stuff I haven't gotten around to mentioning yet. Also that some asshole is watching and judging us from above even when we think we're alone. An asshole named Jesus.
Everyone knows rap songs and videos are basically commercials in the first place, but this calliope of wretched consumerism from Boston's Moufy, featuring David Ortiz with a sick guest verse, is just a new level of shameless. I like the part where he eats a specific brand of potato chips in landmarks that I'm familiar with. Also, "I'm on my David Ortiz"? is that a sentence, because that's the entirety of the hook. :/
Sounds weird coming from a guy who just spent a few hundred words making fun of 30 Seconds to Mars below, but I enjoyed myself at the Bush show the other night. Does that make me some kind of pervert? A pervert of bad taste?
Here's my review in the Globe. "Back onstage, [Rossdale] writhed back into his rock star martyr pose, coming off as a cross between a Russell Brand character and Sweaty Sax man from “Lost Boys.’’
I mentioned how ripped dude was in the story, but jesus christ, I don't think I got the point across. Impossible to think about anything besides my man's shredded obliques the entire show, and that's coming from a straight dude. As straight as you can be when you talk about being mezmerized by another guy's obliques I mean.
Here's my review in the Globe. "Back onstage, [Rossdale] writhed back into his rock star martyr pose, coming off as a cross between a Russell Brand character and Sweaty Sax man from “Lost Boys.’’
I mentioned how ripped dude was in the story, but jesus christ, I don't think I got the point across. Impossible to think about anything besides my man's shredded obliques the entire show, and that's coming from a straight dude. As straight as you can be when you talk about being mezmerized by another guy's obliques I mean.
Chevelle and Filter played too, which is like a 9tz overload. I didn't get chills or anything when Just wanted to make sure we're all on the same page with that in case anyone comes around asking.
Cocktails. Everyone likes to drink them, but why can't we marry them? Or fuck them? Yet.
We may never know the answers to those questions, but we can still ask other, unrelated ones. I asked some of my favorite bar-keeps to suss out which of all these new bullshit cocktails people are drinking now will be around in twenty years. Check it out here if you like to drink, or don't, but like to read about things you aren't interested in for some reason.
"I mean, let's say I make a cool new drink called the Luke O'Neil," he continues, proposing what is, incidentally, an amazing idea. "And I poach Tibetan sage, glaze it with agave, add it to gin distilled in space, pour it over rocks made from my tears, and strain it through a unicorn's mane into a nitrogen-frozen lemon-juice ‘glass.' Pretty cool, right?" Right!
"Sure, but it's really still a gin sour."
Totally fell for that one. Sounded good while it lasted though. Unlike, say, a 30 Seconds to Mars song.
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8 comments:
Never realized thos chips, which I see everywhere, are affiliated with Ortiz. I'll not-buy them with that in mind from now on.
I think it probably has something to do with his BBQ restaurant/hot sauce? Who knows? More importantly, who cares?
moufy is trash, buns, bush league...the only good hip-hop that new england makes is ironic, slightly satirical rap.
Eh, I dunno, there's some good serious stuff as well, none of which I can think of that moment, but whatever.
Esoteric! There you go. There's one.
ok maybe that statement was a little hasty. I'm just pissed that moufy got a phoenix cover. you're right, but when was the last time esoteric was on the cover of the phoenix?....serious question, has he ever been a cover story?
EVERY DAY I'M SHUFFLIN'
Hey bro, do you think online is better than print these days? Like, if people started calling you Luke "Online Edition" O'Neil would you take it as an insult or a complement?
Depends...print pays the bills, online stuff is a lot more fun and I get to talk about boners and drugs way more. 50/50?
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