Oh hi guys! Here's something you would never say to someone in a million years:
"Get your fucking dirty groceries away from mine, pervert. Your frozen green beans are brushing up against my box of Triscuits."
That would be weird, right? Except, woops! You say this every time you go shopping.
Put that fucking thing away. I think somehow we're gonna be able to keep our shit sorted as long as we all concentrate really hard for the four minutes this transaction is going to take.
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7 comments:
I just posted the most amazing follow up to this and the fucking machine ate it. Now what, God? Why are you punishing me?
"No, those Triscuits aren't mine. The green beans were the last thing you should've rung up for me. Oh, you have to call a manager to back it out and can only give me store credit as a refund? Oh, okay, I guess I'll just have a box of Triscuits I didn't want. Unless, hey, guy behind me, do you want to give me $2.19 for the Triscuits you wanted?"
"No, those Triscuits aren't mine. The green beans were the last thing you should've rung up for me. Oh, you have to call a manager to back it out and can only give me store credit as a refund? Oh, okay, I guess I'll just have a box of Triscuits I didn't want. Unless, hey, guy behind me, do you want to give me $2.19 for the Triscuits you wanted?"
GOD FUCKING DAMMIT THIS SHIT IS BROKEN
Nah, I just liked my post so much I did it twice.
LOOOKONEAL, if you ever worked a shitty mindnumbing cashier job in your teens instead of being paid a thousand dollars for every A on your report caaaahhhd you'd understand the purpose of those fuckin things
Hoooof. I will have you know I washed dishes at pappa ginos for a few months when I was sixteen.
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