Let's stop beating around the bush here with the peanut allergies and the being over-protective of your kids. Here it is. Having kids. ON THE LIST. Fuck it dude, mark it zero.
First off, a few disclaimers. None taken* to the following: all of our parents, a couple of my friends, a couple more of my friends in a few years, my girlfriend's dreams if she's reading this and all those people with the signs outside of the Planned Parenthood on comm ave. (I miss swearing at you assholes in the morning)
But seriously... Oh, I'm so special, you know what the world needs? A little me! Don't tell me about the scarcity of resources or how hard it might be to provide for all these little shits! My friend Sherry had one and goddammit, I want one too.
So, it basically comes to that. Kids are fucking boring. Maybe the little ones are kinda cool but seriously once they get to about 6, fuck that. Boring. You know what else is boring? You, the second you shit out a kid. No more going out, fine we'll deal with that. Ok, occasionally you'll get a little furlough pass for a few jars one night and we'll have fun, right? Well, we would have fun if you'd shut the fuck up about having kids. Or how bout we compromise, you can talk about your kid, but talk of strollers, buying diapers, breast pumps, how little you're sleeping, etc. you can leave all that talk where it belongs, which happens to be right here. ON THE LIST.
*When we say none taken, we are not mistaken, we're actually replying to the inevitable no offense comment for you. Example: Oof, the band that night was terrible, bunch of Bowie rehashes with a beatbox casio backing it up. None taken though, Jake. Get it? Good.
First off, a few disclaimers. None taken* to the following: all of our parents, a couple of my friends, a couple more of my friends in a few years, my girlfriend's dreams if she's reading this and all those people with the signs outside of the Planned Parenthood on comm ave. (I miss swearing at you assholes in the morning)
But seriously... Oh, I'm so special, you know what the world needs? A little me! Don't tell me about the scarcity of resources or how hard it might be to provide for all these little shits! My friend Sherry had one and goddammit, I want one too.
So, it basically comes to that. Kids are fucking boring. Maybe the little ones are kinda cool but seriously once they get to about 6, fuck that. Boring. You know what else is boring? You, the second you shit out a kid. No more going out, fine we'll deal with that. Ok, occasionally you'll get a little furlough pass for a few jars one night and we'll have fun, right? Well, we would have fun if you'd shut the fuck up about having kids. Or how bout we compromise, you can talk about your kid, but talk of strollers, buying diapers, breast pumps, how little you're sleeping, etc. you can leave all that talk where it belongs, which happens to be right here. ON THE LIST.
*When we say none taken, we are not mistaken, we're actually replying to the inevitable no offense comment for you. Example: Oof, the band that night was terrible, bunch of Bowie rehashes with a beatbox casio backing it up. None taken though, Jake. Get it? Good.
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12 comments:
haha. "this post" in the tags. hooof.
none taken is my bit by the way.
!!!!!!!!!!
Definitely on board with this here.
Also none taken doesn't make any sense so I wouldn't argue about it, plus it's probably a derivative of something I said anyway.
tgn bit predates your existence tommy belotti
Explaining "None Taken"
Agree with this post.
can none taken be claimed by any one man? possibly chalk.
just wanted to get a jake shot in there really.
ha. i was thinking about editing out the none taken bit, but i liked the shot at jake. haha
Chalk has a claim on most bits
chalk kills bits dead for me.
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