Thursday, May 6, 2010

Your Birthday


Thanks for the well wishes. It is in fact amazing that I still exist. In fairness I can't help but notice that you exist as well, but I don't want to get into a whole thing about you on account of this being my special little day. Better save the congratulations until the officially sanctioned period recognizing the approximate ten hours it took for you to sluice out of your mother's vagina. If you and like twelve people we all sort of know want to go sit in a restaurant and ruin everyone else's night around us I'm cool with that though.

brought to you by

4 comments:

dieyung said...

sluice? sluice.

said...

It's Latin, don't worry about it.

Anonymous said...

nice bum on that broad. shame about the shoes/puking in the street though.

Anonymous said...

looking at shoes.

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