Think it's too late for me to work out some sort of refund on every roll of dental floss I've ever bought in my entire life? Just checking, because I'm a little short vis a vis rent and bills and gambling money this month and I could use the extra $27.50 or whatever it adds up to.
I'm not sure if I'm using it right or not, and admittedly I haven't read the instructions, but is it really supposed to snap off and lodge itself deep in my sugary teeth caves every single time I use it? I've got so many frayed strands of food stained teeth rope caught back there my molars are starting to look like a white dude with dreads. I'm gonna have to start braiding my cavities shut pretty soon.
Anyway, captains of the Dental Floss industry, your product is a fucking sham, and I'll thank you to kindly send me a check in the amount of, uh, literally anything, so we can straighten out this whole mess promptly.
You know what's not on the list though? These little magic wands right here.
Try not to let the fact that they look pretty much exactly like a fossilized vagina bone dissuade you, these dudes will scrape your shit raw. They will own your mouth. In that way they're like the Tiger Woods of dentistry.
I'm not sure if I'm using it right or not, and admittedly I haven't read the instructions, but is it really supposed to snap off and lodge itself deep in my sugary teeth caves every single time I use it? I've got so many frayed strands of food stained teeth rope caught back there my molars are starting to look like a white dude with dreads. I'm gonna have to start braiding my cavities shut pretty soon.
Anyway, captains of the Dental Floss industry, your product is a fucking sham, and I'll thank you to kindly send me a check in the amount of, uh, literally anything, so we can straighten out this whole mess promptly.
You know what's not on the list though? These little magic wands right here.
Try not to let the fact that they look pretty much exactly like a fossilized vagina bone dissuade you, these dudes will scrape your shit raw. They will own your mouth. In that way they're like the Tiger Woods of dentistry.
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7 comments:
is the the first instance of product placement in the history of the list? are those things good for real? i have never tried. also, i dont have that problem with floss, i think you are doing it wrong.
It always breaks yo!
Yeah, these floss picks are the real deal. Amazing.
never breaks for me either. you're like the tard with the wabbits in of mice and men over there, o'neil.
can you get little things like those that you can reuse? just put different floss in instead of throwing out every time? trying to save the earth over here.
@dcmp: I just made that same joke over here in the TOny Dungy post innit? MY BIT.
@student: I dunno. They are kind of a waste I suppose.
who the fuck is tony dungy and what did he do to become famous
-dcmp
i found them on the interweb right after i posted that
-student
Who is Tony Dungy? Longtime coach of Indianapolis Colts inee? Now he's on my teevee telling me about football all the time. Bit of a douche.
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