Nothing to add today. Oh wait a minute, remember water parks? Those were pretty fucking weird right? Standing in a giant line leading up a winding staircase in your bathing suit freezing your ass off so you could take a 20 second ride on a tube lubricated with kid piss? Sounds fun. Bee tee dubs where do I get a hot dog around here? Oh right, everywhere. I can even eat a hot dog while floating down a lazy river with an old-timey South theme, just like Huck Finn or whatever. Tom Sawyer? Some pussy like that.

My hypothetical kids aren't going near one of these disease and pervert ridden cesspools. Unless they whine about it for like five seconds, in which case pack up the station wagon ma, cause I'll do anything to switch these donkey-braying brats to mute.

The Summer!

Side note: that's not a picture of an abandoned water park up there, it's the results of my colonoscopy. Been hitting the Frank's sauce a little too hard lately.

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