Dear Mr. Graham Bell,
We regret to inform you that your invention, "the functional telephone" has made The List. We respect the fact that way back in old-timey days, when men wore suspenders while digging coal and chinamen were putting their backs into laying the tracks for our now-defunct railroad system, your invention was the bee's knees (Hell, it connected the nation and went on to connect continents!), but due to circumstances beyond your control, the telephone has made The List.
Sure, it has enabled many a wife to hear a distorted version of her husband's voice explaining why he wouldn't be home for dinner, many a father to call his son a failure from a great distance, and many a creditor to disturb a layabout's afternoon nap, but despite all that, we'd hazard to guess that had you foreseen the noise pollution created by 4 billion idiots yammering away to their golf buddies/mistresses/business partners/mothers, or worse yet, experienced the frustration of having your phone call go unanswered by someone who you knew had his/her telephone attached to his/her hip, you would have thought twice before placing that first call to Mr. Watson.
So, welcome "the functional telephone". You've officially made it!
Hearts,
The List
We regret to inform you that your invention, "the functional telephone" has made The List. We respect the fact that way back in old-timey days, when men wore suspenders while digging coal and chinamen were putting their backs into laying the tracks for our now-defunct railroad system, your invention was the bee's knees (Hell, it connected the nation and went on to connect continents!), but due to circumstances beyond your control, the telephone has made The List.
Sure, it has enabled many a wife to hear a distorted version of her husband's voice explaining why he wouldn't be home for dinner, many a father to call his son a failure from a great distance, and many a creditor to disturb a layabout's afternoon nap, but despite all that, we'd hazard to guess that had you foreseen the noise pollution created by 4 billion idiots yammering away to their golf buddies/mistresses/business partners/mothers, or worse yet, experienced the frustration of having your phone call go unanswered by someone who you knew had his/her telephone attached to his/her hip, you would have thought twice before placing that first call to Mr. Watson.
So, welcome "the functional telephone". You've officially made it!
Hearts,
The List
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2 comments:
now we're talking!
here's an idea I have for people who I call or text or email: reply.
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