That's racist, yo, and surprisingly, I'm not kidding this time.
For those of you who live outside the hub of the universe, our local learning institution of note, a certain university on the Charles River, held its annual networking opp / vulgar display of institutionalized brutality and pleated khaki exhibition over the weekend, when the dapper dandies of Harvard squared off against the pedigreed punters of Yale in what they call, without any sense of shame, The Game. The most noteable thing about the event was that it totally fucked up my ability to get a drink in Harvard Square on Saturday night without having to wade through a sea of wasted hedge fund managing bro duders in training and pink cheeked bio-chem majors with XXXL Crimson hoodies and apartments worth more than my hypothetical childrens' black market resale value. Sort of like every other weekend around here but multiplied by a factor of ten. Basically every rich person in the country gives a shit about this sporting contest, even the ones that don't give a shit about sporting contests, so they all flock to the area once a year like a horde of zombies to an unguarded orphanage, only the zombies are all wearing top hats and monacles and have their drivers circling the towncar around the block all night until they're done. Worst zombies ever, I guess you could say.
Oh right, the racist thing. So some alumni club that sets up parties for diversity students (can I say that on the internet?) found themselves in a bit of a racist pickle (mmmm, racist pickle) when they tried to throw their party in our faire, provincial burgh, reports those irascible feministy scamps over at .
A party for black Harvard and Yale alums at a Boston club this weekend was shut down just after 11pm. Why? The club owner was concerned that a long line of black people outside would make the club look bad.
Hmm, that doesn't sound so out of the ordinary at first. Maybe the manager could shed some light on how exactly a group of the most educated, professionally-trained and in all other ways better than you and me people could be bad for business:
"ALL BLACK PEOPLE LOOK LIKE GANGBANGERS," he sort of said, picking crawdads out of his teeth with a horseshoe and fiddling on a banjo (probably).
Here's a long quote from the organizers of the party I don't feel like editing down because I haven't had a smoke in like an hour and I want to shit this post out so I can take a break.
Oh, and jsykers, here's how they signed it. "Michael Beal (Harvard '06, HBS '12), Kwame Owusu-Kesse (Harvard '06, HBS '12, HKS '12) and Brandon Terry (Harvard '05, Oxford '07, Yale PhD '12)."
I don't know what all those letters mean, but I think they translate into this club is fuuuckkked.
At approximately 10:45, after we won the argument concerning the amazing quality of our crowd and the strictness of our guest list, management began letting people in but then became worried that as our crowd waited in line it could attract the attention of "local gang bangers" passing by who would try to gain entrance to our party. Furthermore, they feared that if these individuals were turned away for not being on the guest list they could hypothetically cause problems with the bouncers outside of the club and draw negative attention to the establishment. Despite the fact that our Friday night party went off without a hitch and had no problems when we turned people away from the door for not being on our list, management decided to shut the party down as to avoid the hypothetical chance of attracting the "wrong crowd" (again their words not mine). In spite of our attempts to reason with them, we were left in a position where despite agreeing with our logic, the decision had been made and we were left powerless
So, in summary, every stereotype you've ever heard about Boston is true, and these uppity folks probably had it coming. If they didn't want to be confused with gangbangers (who says that anymore btw?) they probably should have thought of that before they spent a decade studying at the best schools in the country, just after that bit where they chose to be born with a slightly different skin color than normal people.We all make curious life choices from time to time I suppose. Here's one I'm going to make: probably not going to go to the club Cure in Boston's Theatre District. Although to be fair, I probably wasn't going to anyway, but this way I can maybe score a few solidarity points with my internet friends and come out looking like a hero without having put forth any effort whatsoever. That's a solid day's work in my world.
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6 comments:
Wait, why are we assuming the hypothetical gangbangers are black in this case? DAS RACIST 2
Because if they weren't educated then it would have been ok.
I changed my mind, I HAVE TO go check out this club now, just to, you know, see what it's like. Good PR move on their part. HOW BAD CAN IT BE? Kind of like how I want to still see that movie Skyline.
It's not like Boston has a pattern of racism we can go back and look at over the years.
whats up with the new pic yo?
A girl is like a combination of a wolf and a tiger.
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