The first installment of the two weekend-long Coachella music-related-music-brand-music-festival-product is approaching, and everyone basic that you know is excited. Did you book your tickets yet? Plan your outfit? Find a place to stay? That’s all super interesting, but here’s something else I’ve been meaning to ask you: Why did you do any of those things? Every single person going to Coachella is a fucking loser, and part of the problem, and probably fat, too. Ok, I know there’s lots of skinny bbs in skimpy outfits there, based on the stream of constipated gif listicles that coil out of the content turd-cutter around this time every year, but those are just young people; young people are simply ret-conned prequels to Fat and Boring: The Life.
Speaking of young people, were any of them consulted in the booking process this year? Wu-Tang Clan, Violent Femmes, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, The Postal Service, The Faint, The Stone Roses, Spiritualized, The Make-Up, Social Distortion, Sigur Ros, Phoenix, Paul Oakenfold, New Order, Jurassic 5, Franz Ferdinand, Dinosaur Jr.? Is this a concert in 2013 or one of my high school cum-socks from the ’90s?
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1 comment:
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