piss martyrs
"This state of the art toilet uses no water, saving 45,000 gallons every year. Thank you for helping us save the earth's supply of precious water."
Uh, well, that's polite of you to say, toilet. You're welcome? Although all I really did here was treat you like a dirty piss hole then peace out of there before I bumped into anyone I know, so I'm not sure your applause are warranted. My buddy Simian Fever pays good Euros for that sort of privilege over in Ruysdaelkade.
I suppose I didn't already have enough bullshit reasons to walk around feeling sanctimonious about my heroic sacrifice today though, so this is a nice little surprise. In fact just today I deliberately did not hurl a backseat worth of Gatorade bottles and sandwich wrappers all over the side of the highway, so I guess this little piss here makes me two for two on the day. If I can just manage to somehow not leak thousands of gallons of factory waste into the river by the close of business I think I may just have edged myself into the running for Green Man of the Year.
I'm not entirely really sure how these awards things work. Should I give a speech here? I'd like to thank the last three Sammy Lights I tossed down the hatch I suppose. Probably wouldn't be here without them.
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2 comments:
The inside of my nose isn't supposed to smell like rotten roast beef is it?
I heard someone actually do the old Al Gore/ global warming hoax routine when it was snowing in early october the other day.
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