Oh, you've got the one where you can point the phone at a 7-11 and it'll tell you that it's a 7-11? You've got the one that makes you sound like T-Pain when you sing into the microphone? The LED screen can cook a steak in under 200 hours?
That's fucking awesome, dude. I can see that penis-pump app is really working out for you, too. What? No, I was kidding about that one. They haven't actually manufactured an iPump that hooks up to your phone. Yet.
Look, guy, my trusty Samsung can occasionally make phone calls and will be an awesome alarm clock once I figure out how to load "Caribbean Queen" by Billy Ocean up on this bitch, so I'm not exactly sweating it. But thanks for giving me the endless guided tour of all your useless bullshit while I'm trying to make eyes at that aging powder queen at the end of the bar who looks like he might have some extra whiff to share with daddy. Wait, that gizmo of yours can't make drugs happen, can it? Can it?
That's fucking awesome, dude. I can see that penis-pump app is really working out for you, too. What? No, I was kidding about that one. They haven't actually manufactured an iPump that hooks up to your phone. Yet.
Look, guy, my trusty Samsung can occasionally make phone calls and will be an awesome alarm clock once I figure out how to load "Caribbean Queen" by Billy Ocean up on this bitch, so I'm not exactly sweating it. But thanks for giving me the endless guided tour of all your useless bullshit while I'm trying to make eyes at that aging powder queen at the end of the bar who looks like he might have some extra whiff to share with daddy. Wait, that gizmo of yours can't make drugs happen, can it? Can it?
brought to you by
5 comments:
there is an app where you can cut fake lines. no joke.
I might have to break down and get one of these turds at some point. Although the prospect of mashing my giant sausage fingers into the screen just so I can text back "ha." to my bro about some zinger he just group-texted is a little daunting.
Oof, someone reanimate my horse-riddled corpse and kill me again.
ALICE IN CHAINS ANNOUNCE OCTOBER 27 RELEASE FOR
BLACK GIVES WAY TO BLUE iPHONE APP
UNIQUE INTERACTIVE APP FEATURES FULL SONGS, "HIDDEN GEMS," VIDEOS, NEWS, MORE; ALLOWS FANS TO CONNECT VIA FACEBOOK, TWITTER, EMAIL
LEAD SINGLE "CHECK MY BRAIN" MAINTAINS NO. 1 SPOT
ON BILLBOARD TOP ROCK SONGS CHART
BAND TO PERFORM ON "THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH CONAN O'BRIEN" OCTOBER 30
Wonder what sort of dude is like "I wonder what's going on with AIC at this very second?" But is also the sort of dude that doesn't have the internet?
Bill Tobin!
Post a Comment