As if we needed any further evidence in the case of American Consumers v. Gullibility, the existence of this pretend energy food should probably sway the jury. Just in case we're not clear on what's going on here, what they do now is sell candy bars. In a gym. That people eat before and after trying to lose weight for an hour. Powerbars, Extreme Nutgasms, Man-Tiger Hard-On Bars or whatever, they're all the same and they all taste like wet cement sprinkled with stale nuts (both kinds).
And yet there I was eating one like five minutes ago thinking to myself "Woh, 40 grams of protein!" Right, and only ten thousand calories of sugar they need to make that soy diarrhea palatable. Look dude, (by which I mean me), this isn't a video game where you can find magic health kits under an exploding barrel. So unless you start noticing a row of red hearts floating above your head on that vigorous twenty minute tread mill jaunt you can probably skip the power-up routine and end this nougatty facade. If you want to eat a candy bar that's fine, just don't pretend like that snake oil is gonna do anything besides drain your dignity, and your wallet at $4 a pop.
Uh, jsyk, don't do an image search for Man Tiger unless you want to see some fucked up shit.
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12 comments:
woah, that picture. fucking A.
What about a Powersauce bar? Unleash the power of apples!
LOL @ "nougatty facades"
hoof. sauce.
TIGERSTYLE
I got nothing to say lately I guess. Any suggestions for the List cunts?
Airplane food?
What's the deal with that stuff anyway?
power bars = near instant diarhea. diarhea is most certainly on the list.
spelling that word is on the list. i kind of like having it though. cleans you out.
that reminds me . . .
of what?
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