At the risk of scaring off the overwhelmingly female and giant, insufferably-sensitive pussy demographics that make up my loyal readers, I'm gonna turn to sports for a minute here. Like all good sports stories though, it's really about class, and politics, and squeezing every last fucking nickel out of the blue-collar, REAL AMERICANS who make up a team's fan base, so I think it's ok.
Complaining about how much athletes get paid is already on the List, as is interviewing athletes, but I'm gonna call a quick time out on those two for a minute until I can slowly glue the exploded pieces of my head back together after reading this story.
WASHINGTON -- Albert Haynesworth said Saturday his $100 million contract doesn't make him a slave to the Washington Redskins.
In an interview with 106.7 The Fan, the two-time All-Pro defensive tackle said the big paychecks don't mean he can't push back when the team asks him to play a different position.
For those of you who don't follow football (weirdos) what this means is that this 500 lb fat ass doesn't want to stand three feet to the right while he prepares to tackle the guy with the ball, because he's used to standing in another location. Did we mention get gets paid $100 million to do this?
Haynesworth protested by staying away from the team's offseason conditioning program and practices. He also skipped a mandatory minicamp and was unable to pass the team's conditioning test until the 10th day of training camp -- all despite receiving a $21 million bonus on April 1.
"I mean, I'm not for sale," Hayesworth went on to say, lying.
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| Haynesworth before Sunday's game |
"Yeah, I signed the contract and got paid a lot of money, but ... that don't mean I'm for sale or a slave or whatever," he continued. "Fuck you poor people and all of my ancestors who may have actually been worked to death through forced labor," he did not go on to say but probably meant to.
Now, I'm no expect on race relations in America, on account of being a white person raised Catholic in the suburbs of Massachusetts. They don't teach us what race is until age 17. But I'm pretty sure that getting millions of dollars to play a game doesn't exactly count as slavery. Although I hear they're doing some weird things with textbooks down in Texas nowadays, so maybe history has changed since I was a kid. The important thing is, I think we can all agree this guy can go fuck himself.
Now, let's take a look at today's forecast with Luke at the weather desk "It sucks and my feet are fucking cold."
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4 comments:
Interviewing anyone. None taken, of course.
none given.
Albert Haynesworth said Saturday his $100 million contract doesn't make him a slave to the Washington Redskins.
Rasheed Wallace would like a word with Mr. Haynesworth.
Ha. I sort of get that.
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