If you've ever found yourself thinking, typing or saying this acronym there are two possible things it can say about your life. And SPOILER ALERT I don't think you'll be surprised to know that neither reflects well on you. It's sort of like a choose your own adventure, except every outcome is "you suck."
A) YOUR JOB CHOICE BLOWS The first possibility is that you actually work in some sort of office that has a red alert nipple detection alarm protocol running on the computer system, in which case good luck enjoying the slow, decades-long decline into cubicle tedium you're in for with that group of heroes. Must be a fun place to work. If they don't trust the employees enough to think they can make it through the day without the ominous, life-altering threat of b00BZ!!1 then you might want to consider cutting your losses and looking for a job that isn't going to crush your will to live. (Also, if anyone has any luck finding something like that please let me know).
B) YOU ARE BAD AT YOUR JOB The second option is that you actually work in a place where looking at pr0n could legitimately effect your work. Like you're a fighter pilot, or a third grade teacher or a guy who runs a dog fighting ring that gets distracted from his obligations because he's looking at too many celebrity nip slips and then the dogs get out and attack a heroic fighter pilot while he's trying to rescue a group of third grade teachers from a volcano or whatever. Here's the deal: you know where you work (presumably). If it's a high stress job that requires all your attention, or it involves showing children how to draw with crayons, or both, stay off the fucking internet. That means this site too. Nothing is NSFW, because reasonable people actually know what the words "safe" and "work" mean. You can look at as many vaginas you want when you get home. Unless you work at some sort of vagina store, which is an entirely different set of issues altogether. Self. Con. Trol.
A) YOUR JOB CHOICE BLOWS The first possibility is that you actually work in some sort of office that has a red alert nipple detection alarm protocol running on the computer system, in which case good luck enjoying the slow, decades-long decline into cubicle tedium you're in for with that group of heroes. Must be a fun place to work. If they don't trust the employees enough to think they can make it through the day without the ominous, life-altering threat of b00BZ!!1 then you might want to consider cutting your losses and looking for a job that isn't going to crush your will to live. (Also, if anyone has any luck finding something like that please let me know).
B) YOU ARE BAD AT YOUR JOB The second option is that you actually work in a place where looking at pr0n could legitimately effect your work. Like you're a fighter pilot, or a third grade teacher or a guy who runs a dog fighting ring that gets distracted from his obligations because he's looking at too many celebrity nip slips and then the dogs get out and attack a heroic fighter pilot while he's trying to rescue a group of third grade teachers from a volcano or whatever. Here's the deal: you know where you work (presumably). If it's a high stress job that requires all your attention, or it involves showing children how to draw with crayons, or both, stay off the fucking internet. That means this site too. Nothing is NSFW, because reasonable people actually know what the words "safe" and "work" mean. You can look at as many vaginas you want when you get home. Unless you work at some sort of vagina store, which is an entirely different set of issues altogether. Self. Con. Trol.
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3 comments:
A. in my case
hoof
Some work, then a lunchbreak, browse some jokes, a little news, some sports, a couple vaginas, then a fresh cup of coffee and back to do some more work.
Balance people, balance.
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