Sunday, August 16, 2009

Paying for a Gym Membership You Don't Use

This is America, so we're used to spending shit loads of money on things that we will never, ever derive any real benefit from. Like the military, for example. Or rocket ships to the moon!!! Or health insurance that doesn't actually cover shit anyway. But unlike the thousands of innocent Iraqis we've spent trillions of our tax dollars to slaughter, for example, your quivering muffin top and/or man boobs and your story about "getting back to the gym" are a little hard to ignore.

If you don't want to exercise, that's fine. But you're not kidding anyone when you walk in there and sign a contract for 75 bucks a month for three years. You realize that having a gym membership that you don't use doesn't get you any closer to being in shape just because it enables you to slip the word gym into a conversation every now and again right? Same way that getting that issue of Harper's in the mail every month and leaving it on the coffee table doesn't get you any closer to being smart. Because believe me, I've been trying that last one for years and I'm still a fucking idiot.

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6 comments:

said...

thousands of iraqis, huh? that's cute. might want to re-crunch those numbers.

said...

tens of thousands is what i meant.

said...

hundreds

said...

But if I spend $500 on my gym membership, I can get $100 back from my insurance company. That's like free money!

said...

cannot fucking change the font on this one for the life of me.

mick said...

I am in the minority on this one I guess. I have had several gym memberships over the years and have always used them alot. My only regret is that I let many of those theiving scumbags charge me as much as they did for what amounted to a poorly maintained warehouse with some weights in it. I just joined planet for 10 bucks a month and I use that one too. The rest of those crooked piss drinkers should go out of biz.

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