You're familiar with Rule 34, right? "If it exists there is porn of it." There's a lesser known corollary to that, which I just invented right now, and it states: if it has anything to do with a penis, anywhere in the world, the local news will do an awkward segment on it. Just watch this video below about Guitar Pee, a wackadoodles new item that no one will remember existed in five minutes. It's from some Brazilian marketing geniuses/pun enthusiasts. "Listen to hundreds of MPEE3" boasts their site.  It's like a guitar solo you play with your dick, aka a "regular guitar solo."

Like three other blogs just posted about this, but choosing between which one to credit seems like picking the favorite of my children, so let's just say I discovered this important news item.

The way it works is this: you, a human being, drink some sort of fluid, then your kidneys(?) filter out the waste byproducts, and send it through a series of tubes to your balls (I think?), where it builds up for a while making you uncomfortable while you sit there thinking about how far away the bathroom is in this fucking place, then you finally are like "goddammit" and you walk all the across the room, stand in a line of dudes trying to ignore one another and you undo your suspenders, unbutton your pants, untie the string of the basketball shorts you wear under your pants for underwear, pull aside the jock strap, take your penis in your hand, wait there for 3-7 minutes for something to happen, pull out your phone to kill some time, drop it in the toilet, finally start urinating, and voila! a song starts playing that no one wants to hear and basically sounds like shit, not to be confused with the music of actual shit being made like four feet away from you. Can't see how this thing won't catch on. Everyone loves to call attention to themselves at their most vulnerable animalistic moments, and everyone loves bad guitar playing.

Side note: if you were wondering, the touch screen on your phone registers penis-meat as a valid scrolling mechanism. Don't ask why I know that.

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