There is a family party in a few weeks for my oxy contin addicted 19 year old nephew's graduation from electrician school. Should be fucking great.

We are all so proud of this kid who has ruined my sister's life for the past five years. Highlights include totaling her car with the car they bought for him, going in and out of expensive rehab centers, flunking out of high school, barely graduating from electrician school or whatever, confusing and most likely totally fucking up his younger sisters, shaming the family by becoming an electrician, having a slutty white trash girlfriend, and generally costing millions of dollars. Congrats on graduating though!

I can't wait to celebrate this kid's amazing accomplishments while trying to find one vegetarian item (already on the List) I can eat after traveling out of my way on a bus (on the List) for five or six hours then listen to my Republican (List) relatives bash Obama (List) all day before my return trip. The nephew though, his future looks bright.

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