Yeah, I know this is kind of a repeat of the "Cheap Toilet Paper" post from back in the day, but I feel this issue must be addressed. Also, this picture, while only like tangentially related to something else that might itself be tangentially related to recycled toilet paper, must not be kept under wraps. The picture itself should be on the list for any number of reasons that I don't think need to be enumerated here.
I guess I should expect to get this kind of filth when I do a Google image search for "sore ass." Even without the tiger, this is kind of goofy and weird and creepy ... but with the tiger? Pure insane genius.
So anyway, I love environmentalism. It really revs my engine. But I feel a line in the sand must be drawn when it comes to recycled toilet paper. Sure, sure, we're cutting down valued trees to make the wonderful little slices of heaven that we regularly soil with our own excrement. This is bad. But, the alternative would be to have everyone walking kind of funny and just generally being in a pissy mood because their asshole has been torn up by scratchy, rough recycled tissue. From a cost-benefit standpoint, would we be hurting the environment more by cutting down trees, or by losing any number of great new programs and technologies because the people who would normally be thinking them up are being driven to distraction by the chafed factory of pain that now exists where their anus once was? I mean, we might as well just all turn into snowmen who are being cheerfully ass-raped by other snowmen while smug man-tigers with raging hard-ons sit perched on our torsos, am I right?
So to those armies of tree-hugging toilet paper Nazis that may or may not exist only in my head, I say only this: From. My. Cold. Dead. Hands.
I guess I should expect to get this kind of filth when I do a Google image search for "sore ass." Even without the tiger, this is kind of goofy and weird and creepy ... but with the tiger? Pure insane genius.
So anyway, I love environmentalism. It really revs my engine. But I feel a line in the sand must be drawn when it comes to recycled toilet paper. Sure, sure, we're cutting down valued trees to make the wonderful little slices of heaven that we regularly soil with our own excrement. This is bad. But, the alternative would be to have everyone walking kind of funny and just generally being in a pissy mood because their asshole has been torn up by scratchy, rough recycled tissue. From a cost-benefit standpoint, would we be hurting the environment more by cutting down trees, or by losing any number of great new programs and technologies because the people who would normally be thinking them up are being driven to distraction by the chafed factory of pain that now exists where their anus once was? I mean, we might as well just all turn into snowmen who are being cheerfully ass-raped by other snowmen while smug man-tigers with raging hard-ons sit perched on our torsos, am I right?
So to those armies of tree-hugging toilet paper Nazis that may or may not exist only in my head, I say only this: From. My. Cold. Dead. Hands.
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11 comments:
I think you mean cold. dead. anus.
I can't wait to see how else we can put the man-tiget hard-ons tag to use.
Cold Dead Anus sounds like a kick-ass heavy metal band.
man-tiger typo. goddamnit.
Bidets are the future
Do those wet bung hole blasters even work? take that noise back to French India, buddy.
It should be noted that the tiger with the giant hard on appears to be a Bengal and would never survive in those snowy conditions ever for a quick snowballin'.
duly noted.
He's got a nice warm fleece on and some woolen mittens so maybe a quick bang and back to Bangladesh.
i dont really see much of a difference.
They got snowy mountains over there? Maybe it was just like a dirty weekend type of deal.
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