I've been looking at this site Passive Aggressive Notes, which is funny and a worthwhile alternative to staring into the void like I normally do all morning. I couldn't help but notice how many of the notes on here tend to revolve around disagreements over food people leave in the fridge at work. I know most of you are fat, nervous retards who can't go twenty minutes without a snack -- But I've got low blow sugar -- but here's an idea to alleviate some of this refrigerator related tension you seem to be experiencing at work: don't eat so much. Also stop being such a cheap prick. That bottle of salad dressing must have cost upwards of three dollars.
Anyone who's ever worked in an office with me probably finds this ironic, because I used to eat people's shit (yup, that's what I mean) every day without reservation. Nom nom nom. Pick through that leftover Chinese food with my dirty paws like a fucking bear that found a pie on the windowsill. Did I ever feel guilty? No. Why? Because I'm a dick. But, and this might be a radical idea, if the idea of two bites of a pesto chicken pannni you've got festering in the cold box is all that's getting you through your day, maybe you should find a different job that makes you happy? Just, you know, throwing that out there. There's more to life than food you know. Like cigarettes. And self respect.
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4 comments:
nice one yo. you are filthy though for eating other people's food. what if it had nasty squishy mushrooms, congealed yucky stuff or dates hidden in there and you were stuck eating that shit? the horror.
Congeal-ment makes everything taste better.
What office did you work in? Holton Industries?
Ha. Dig innit?
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