I finally saw this bit from "Louis" last night for the first time, the one where he goes on Fox News to serve as the Masturbation Expert. "We're like porn for God? He watches us, and then he probably masturbates." Har har, we all said, but that Christian lady (am I right, by the way?) is way too over the top and entirely unbelievable. Wrong again, assholes. God is watching, because my man Nate just sent me this link to one of the most awe-inspiring literary efforts I've read in some time called "The Madness, The Misery of Masturbation by: Larry J. Brown Jr. aka J-Elijah" from something called the Passion For Christ Movement, or P4CM, which is how you know they're hip. Also all the slam poetry videos.
I find this entire page offensive, not only as a next-level masturbator and someone who doesn't believe in magic, but as a person who has actually ever read a single poem in my life.
Here's a quick taste:
Restless.
Frustrated.
Frustrated with Myself.
I did it again.
Like a crack addict addicted to crack,
I am addicted to myself.
Seeking quick fixes.
Temporary highs with devastating lows.
Trying to satisfy the lust of my flesh,
With solo trips,
With solo voyages,
In darkness.
I like how it goes on to compare masturbating to bondage. May have inadvertently inspired a few boners with that metaphor though. Just saying.
|
| Eh. I could still work with that scenario. |
Read the rest of the poem below. And keep your hands where I can see them, sinner. Got to hand it to P4CM though, I am way too bummed out to even think about masturbating right now. You win this battle hip hop Jesus. But you won't win the war.
Despite disgust, guilt, shame, condemnation.
Knowing what I'm supposed to do,
Continuing to do what I'm not supposed to
Like Paul in Romans 7.
Justifying my sin because of the lesser consequences than fornication.
Losing my respect for people.
Losing my respect for places.
Doing whatever it takes wherever to fulfill my high.
Masturbation becomes my god.
My idol.
My controller.
My oppressor.
My dirty little secret that keeps me bound.
Why do I feel so out of control?
I'm not sleeping around.
I'm sleeping with myself.
The Madness, The Misery of Masturbation
Knowing what I'm supposed to do,
Continuing to do what I'm not supposed to
Like Paul in Romans 7.
Justifying my sin because of the lesser consequences than fornication.
Losing my respect for people.
Losing my respect for places.
Doing whatever it takes wherever to fulfill my high.
Masturbation becomes my god.
My idol.
My controller.
My oppressor.
My dirty little secret that keeps me bound.
Why do I feel so out of control?
I'm not sleeping around.
I'm sleeping with myself.
The Madness, The Misery of Masturbation
"God Bless You."
"I'm Blessed."
Saying what I need to say to maintain my front.
"Aw, you're such a good brother."
Constant compliments from brothers and sisters
Add on to my guilt.
Soon as I get to church I am well greeted.
"Welcome, brother."
But do you know what I just did.
The Madness, The Misery of Masturbation
I can't look at my hands.
My hands are so dirty.
No matter how many times I wash my hands,
No matter how much soap I use,
My hands still feel dirty.
Even though I know it's wrong,
I keep doing the same thing
Over and over and over again.
The Madness, The Misery of Masturbation
Turning on the tv,
Lustful images fill the screen
At 5:00 p.m. in the afternoon.
Turning on the radio,
Enticing lyrics over a hypnotic beat
At 5:00 p.m. in the afternoon.
Man, I'm just all messed up.
The Madness, The Misery of Masturbation
Pornography is masturbation's best friend.
Exposing myself to what I don't need to see.
Lying to myself,
Saying I'm just going to watch.
Why can't I just watch? But I can't just watch.
The after effects of shame last longer than
The temporary pleasure of the drug of masturbation.
This is Madness. This is Misery.
The pain is outweighing the pleasure.
This is changing me.
Becoming selfish.
Becoming lonesome.
Not wanting to be around people.
Becoming self-consumed.
The Madness, The Misery of Masturbation
God, take this from me.
Confessing this sin of masturbation,
Of lust,
Of sexual immorality.
Repenting,
Asking for your forgiveness,
Receiving your forgiveness.
Conversing with friends about this,
Finding out many friends have the same weakness.
Praying for each other.
Holding each other accountable.
Satisfying my spirit,
Denying my flesh,
Through the word of God,
Fasting,
Praying,
Confessing.
Stop watching all those crazy music videos.
Guarding.
Guarding.
Guarding my eyes.
Guarding my eyes from what I don't need to see.
Stop listening to all those lust songs.
Guarding.
Guarding.
Guarding my ears.
Guarding my ears from what I don't need to hear.
Restless.
Frustrated.
Frustrated with myself.
I did it again.
The Madness, The Misery of Masturbation
No matter how many times I fall,
Through frustration,
Fighting.
Fighting.
Fighting against myself.
Looking to victory.
Looking to determination.
Going through withdrawal.
Rough nights.
Praying.
Restless.
Frustrated.
Frustrated with myself.
I did it again.
Night sweats. Heart beats fast.
Resist.
Resist.
Resisting temptation.
The Lord is blessing me with clean hands.
My hands are clean.
My hands are clean.
My heart is clean.
Looking to victory,
Looking to determination,
Defeating the drug of masturbation.
Madness is replaced with liberty.
Misery is replaced with freedom.
A Cry for My Brothers and My Sisters
Who Struggle with Masturbation
Heavenly Father,
Lord of Hosts,
In the name of Jesus,
We, your sons and your daughters,
Cry to you Lord.
Thank you Jesus.
We bless you Lord.
We praise you Lord.
We turn to you Jesus.
We confess our sin of masturbation,
Of lust,
Of sexual immorality,
Of selfishness.
We repent.
We repent, we turn away from the sin of masturbation.
Lord, we ask for your forgiveness.
We receive your forgiveness.
Lord, create in us clean hearts.
Bless us with clean hands.
Bless us with self control.
Lord, help us to live holy,
Through your word,
Through fasting and prayer,
We bind condemnation in the name of Jesus.
We bind shame in the name of Jesus.
We loose peace in the name of Jesus.
We loose encouragement in the name of Jesus.
We will not be defeated.
We overcome masturbation through Christ.
The Lord is Our Deliverer.
Lord of Hosts, deliver your people.
Deliver your people in the name of Jesus.
Amen.
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7 comments:
Took like 10 minutes to read all that. You have any idea what I could have done instead in about 10 minutes?
I didn't actually read the whole thing. Come on!
Oh right, I get what you meant.
Damn, that poem was long. Glad I skipped the boring parts where the pizza delivery boy shows up and went straight to the good stuff.
He fixes the cable?
Don't be fatuous.
One of these I am going to find the strength to read this thing.
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