Mike Eide may be a despicable Giants fan from New York, but other than that he's alright by me. He writes in with this PRO TIP on how to dress up your shitty swill beer in one simple step, just in time for the Super Bowl.
Sorry wild man, but Buddy Weiser, Dickie Pabst and that Schafer jerk are the worst. Those goons offer you nothing but a generic, flat-ass taste that dips off somewhere into the metallic. Gag, son.
Beer doesn't need to taste like a hop barn or a chocolate factory, but it does need to taste. My hopelessly urbane roommate, I-vo Berkonius, recently disc-jocked himself onto a new simple, yet effective recipe for making any cheap $2 special a bit more so. Try this: ask your local bartender for say, a can of Bud, but add - with bitters - to the order. I bet you he or she will not be all that quizzical about the request. In fact, they'll most likely agree that it makes a lot of sense, much like how thinking people innately understood relative physics before Einstein was able to articulate it.
Even if you think its sacrilege to add anything to your precious 99-cent tall boy, really, give it a shot, just once. It makes for a good conversation and debate, and will settle your tummy a little something. The initial bitter blast as you sip the lip of the can is the best, and the rest of the remaining brew will have a pleasantly rounded flavor. Just don't be surprised if you find yourself pissing bitters into your second Bloodshitter come next round.
Here's your soundtrack for mixing. Oh, and PATS SUX GMEN RULZ YOU FUCKING MASSSSHOOOLEZ!!!, so on and so forth.
brought to you by
11 comments:
if i asked the dood at my local for a natty ice draft with a dash of bitters, he'd tell me to get facked, you fackin queeyah.
I like how you can tell he's from NYC because were the fuck do you get a 99 cent beer anywhere?
GO BACK TO NEW JERSEY YOU QUEYYAH
I wonder what percentage of the bars in your book stock bitters.
For dive bars? I would guess 10% at most.
i'm going to head to TC's Lounge right now and ask for a coors light draft with a fernet float.
Ha, TC's might have them. I know that most don't, because I usually tried to order a Manhattan whenever I went in. Very few could do that. Yes, I'm a loser etc.
you tried to order manhattans when? on your dive bar tour? that seems a little eh. gonna just stop in this BK and see if i can get a filet mignon, BRB!
Haha, only if it seemed like the guy behind the bar was a real old timer who would know wht one was. They usually did, but didn't carry bitters.
i will try this beer w/ bitters thing b/c i have plenty of cheap beer and bitters at home. not doing it at a bar though for fear of looking like a hewmew. so, thanks dude from a region who's sporting fellows are far inferior than the one where i happened to be born. YANKEES SUX, JETER ETC ETC ETC!
Bitters makes everything better. Bitters and ginger ale? What's better than that? Not much that's what.
Post a Comment