I never finished my doctorate in sandwich studies so I may be off here, but isn't the whole point of the operation to cover up a piece of meat with two slices of bread thereby eliminating the necessity of cutlery and plates and gaping mustard wounds on my shirt?
I know we're the nation of super-sized, steroid-juiced cows and pigs and chicken-like organisms, but last I checked bread comes in any size you want it to, right? (Admittedly, it has been a while since I've checked.)
So why can't I get a sandwich that doesn't flop over the border of the bread? Who do they have manning the sandwich station back there, these guys?
Just once I'd like meat to respect the clearly delineated borders of the bread's sovereign territory. This encroachment has to be seen as an act of aggression. After every bite I'm stuck wrangling nomad pickles back into position because there's not enough bread to keep everything in check. And what the hell am I supposed to do with this meat leftover after the bread is gone, use a fork and knife? What's next, a top hat and monocle? Excuse me, esteemed sandwich purveyor, I seem to have left my tuxedo and tails in my other carriage.
Unlike a lot of other things on the list, this one has a very simple solution. Either cut the meat smaller, or cut the bread bigger. We're aiming for a 1:1 ratio here, ok? That's just sound science. Consider this case solved.
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2 comments:
^hoooooooffffffff
I just want a sandwich with some fucking integrity. Is that too much to ask?
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